Love Me For Who I Am
by a simple kind of lovely
Summary: There are many ways of breaking a heart. Stories were full of hearts broken by love, but what really broke a heart was taking away its dream: whatever that dream might be. LJ AU
1. We Meet Again

_Love Me For Who I Am By-x. by yours truly_

Chapter 1 – We Meet Again

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**Disclaimer-All this belongs to me…but there's one problem: I'm not J.K. Rowling so the only things you don't recognize are mine. And also, if I had owned Harry Potter and everything with that, Harry and Hermione would've gotten together, Draco and Ginny, Luna and Ron, Neville and Padma, Blaise and Pansy, Fred and Angelina, George and Alicia, Katie and Oliver, and James and Lily never would've died. Also, there would be no evil little rat named Pettigrew. (And no Tom Riddle, either.)**

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**Hey I was wondering. What if Harry wasn't the prophecy boy? It said born as the seventh month dies but what if they meant September and not July? Ya know, September meaning "seventh month"…Just a thought…**

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List of Main Characters (6)

Lily Evans- 17 years old, went to Beauxbatons from 3rd to 6th year, very smart, hates James Potter because he asked her out in 3rd year and she agreed but that date was because of a bet, former friend of James, talented at ballroom dance and modern dance, karate champion, red hair, green eyes, 5' 7", sister is Squib who married Vernon Dursley (another Squib), parents are powerful members of Ministry, sassy, hot (all the boys describe her as that anyway), was Chaser for Beauxbatons and probably will be for Quidditch, an Animagus (doe), acts civil to James till he pushes her buttons, Head Girl, pureblood

James Potter- 17 years old, very smart, hates Lily Evans because she won't forgive him for that bet, former friend of Lily, talented at ballroom and modern dance (wonderful dance partner to Lily), karate champ, jet-black hair, hazel eyes, only child, parents are friends with Lily's parents, hot (girls describe him like that anyway), is Seeker at Hogwarts and captain for Gryffindor Quidditch team, an Animagus (stag), Head Boy, acts civilly till he annoys Lily to a certain point, pureblood, Lily & James left on relatively friendly terms if you call ignoring each other friendly…

Karma White- 16 years old, best friend of Lily but hasn't seen her for 4 years, strawberry blonde hair that goes to her back, clear blue eyes, dating Sirius Black, 5' 5", Keeper for Gryffindor team, half-blood

Sirius Black- 17 years old, best friend of James but hasn't seen Lily for 4 years like the others, Animagus (black doggie), jet-black hair, chocolate brown eyes, dating the love of his life Karma White, Beater for Gryffindor team. 6' 1", pureblood

Vivienne Langston- 16 years old, best friend of Lily, hasn't seen her for 4 years, werewolf, dark brown hair that goes to middle of back, amethyst purple eyes, 5' 5", Chaser for Gryffindor team, dating Remus Lupin since 6th year's beginning, pureblood

Remus Lupin- 17 years old, best friend of James but hasn't seen Lily for 4 years, werewolf, sandy-colored hair, blue eyes, 6' 3", dating Vivienne Langston since beginning of 6th year's beginning, Chaser for Gryffindor team, half-blood

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"James Potter, it has been so long since we have last met," Lily purred, putting out her hand to kiss. It was a rule that they had to do that _every_ time.

"Lily Evans, it certainly has been four years, has it not?" James asked carefully hiding his surprise to see her there in the flesh, kissing her hand before looking in those green-mesmerizing eyes that he thought he wouldn't ever see again.

These two were in the lobby of the Tipton Hotel in England. More precisely, they were in London and calmly greeting one another. Lily and James were getting looks from many other chicks and guys (none swing _that_ way, if you catch my drift).

Anyway, she came home for a surprise but her parents and the Potters were going on a business trip in New York City so her 'bodyguards' stuck her on a two-month trip in a hotel with James. Fortunately, she had protested and she was going to be stuck with James for only two days. All the teenagers are staring at the hotties who are coldly addressing each other with chilling calmness.

Lily was wearing black tight jeans that kind of cut into a triangle on the sides, showing off her long and gorgeous legs. She had on a loose but fitting shirt that said, "You can want me, but you can't have me!" She had on an exquisite lily necklace around her neck. It was the one James had given her in 3rd year. The shirt showed her soft curves and her chest. Her chest had increased size since 3rd year.

James was wearing a white shirt that had "Quidditch" on the front and "Live it. Love it. Breathe it," on the back. He had on black jeans. The shirt showed off the six-pack he had achieved from playing Quidditch. The girls were sighing at the way he coolly handled the chick talking to him with the coldest of voices. The guys were awed that the girl didn't even give the slightest sign of a swoon.

Girls were _dying_ for that position Lily had with James as they just stared at each other. Lily, for one, was surprised. His voice was deeper and husky, so different than that squeak in second year.

James discreetly checked her out. She was _hot_! She was even hotter than some of his old flings. Before, Lily was a meek, quiet girl. Now, she was sassy, more open, and _cold_! Every other time, Lily's voice always had traces of warmness in them. Now, there was only pure ice.

James finally broke the tension and silence and immediately, the lobby filled with chatter, though silently observing the to-die-for pair.

-&-

"So, how have you been faring nowadays, Lily?" asked James, who was curious, as usual.

"I'm faring _just _well. Just well," answered Lily, her stare getting even colder, avoiding James' surprisingly warm hazel eyes.

"Lily, are you still angry about that…thing?" asked James, carefully, not wanting to experience the famous temper of a redhead.

"Of course I am! It's four bloody years! You didn't even try to write to me! It would've been nice, you know. Seriously, did you take our friendship in granted?" Lily exclaimed, throwing her arms up into the air. "I'm going up to the hotel room." With that, she went up the stairs and the girls looked at him hopefully.

"Back off," James said, going up the stairs following Lily.

-&-

Their room was A31 and the room was very luxurious. There were two queen-size beds with a mini-fridge. (Go wild with your imaginations here.)

James sighed. Knowing that he had a lovely dame who was angry with him and having to live with that fact for practically the whole summer made James want to go and drown himself. Except he wouldn't.

Lily sighed. Knowing that she had a very drop-dead gorgeous and sexy guy and having to live with that fact for the next two days made Lily want to almost go and Apparate to her sister and her new husband's honeymoon. But knowing her parents wouldn't appreciate that and knowing what newlyweds did during honeymoon, Lily pushed away those thoughts.

-&-

It was the afternoon. Lily had just finished talking to James and they were back to being very close friends. Not really close, but they were friends, and that's what matters.

James was eating a ham sandwich. Lily came in and James asked, "Want one?"

Lily shook her head politely. "No thanks."

"Hey, wanna go swimming?" asked Lily, suddenly.

"Sure, why not?" James said. "Let's go change and meet at the pool."

Lily changed into a green bikini that showed off her eyes. The two-piece also showed her thin and tanned legs. Her curves were shown and the back of her legs suggested some muscle.

James put on a blue pair of swimming trunks and it showed off his muscled legs and a oh-so-handsome six-pack, making girls gush as he walked to the pool. There, he found Lily already swimming. James shrugged and then jumped into the water, leaving a tremendous splash.

"Hey!" Lily exclaimed, splashing him using some wandless magic, successfully catching him in the face. James shook his hair and then challenged Lily to a race, thinking Lily wouldn't win, considering he had longer legs and was taller.

Lily smirked. Her swimming had improved dramatically in those four years.

"On your mark, get set, GO!" shouted a nearby lifeguard who had seen them.

Lily and James sped off. Lily was ahead when James used some more energy to speed up. They were then neck-to-neck. In the end, Lily won. Lily grinned, as James looked at her blankly, bewildered.

"How did you- what the- what happened- how did that happen?" James managed to say.

"Over time, things improve or get worse," Lily replied, amused. James groaned and slapped himself. _Mental note to self- NEVER underestimate Lily Evans._

They silently glared at each other.

-&-

"Oh, shit, there's the dance for tonight!" Lily exclaimed, noticing the sign near the pool.

"C'mon, let's go and get ready for the dance… damn. It starts at six and we only have half an hour," James said, after looking at a flier with the dance's details on it. "Oh well. It's better than having some ditzy blonde on my arm all the time."

"I'm going to go and get my dress. Remember, dress casual but not _too _casual," Lily reminded him as they bounded into their respective walk-in closets. Lily strolled through her dresses. She stopped at a thin-strapped white gown. It was perfect. It was casual but had a formal air around it. Now all she needed was the makeup and jewelry to match it.

James stopped at a white shirt with a collar. He grabbed some navy blue pants and now all he needed to do was tell Lily that he was not going to wear a tie. Not till hell freezes over, he vowed.

Lily was in front of her vanity in the walk-in closet. Lily applied some glittery eye shadow faintly and some very light blush. Her nails were painted and manicured with a sparkly and pearly white. They had differently colored lilies all over them. Her hair was braided and worn as a crown on her head, tangled with a few tiny glittery flowers. Her amulet was lily-shaped made of a diamond.

After James failed the 107th time to tame his hair, he gave up and knocked on Lily's locked walk-in. She was changing and she liked her own privacy.

"Lily? Do you have any idea how to tame my hair?" asked James, making his hair messier.

Lily opened the door, peeked out at him, and said, "Don't. Girls like to run their hands in it."

James walked away, puzzled. He didn't understand how that helped. James shrugged and then placed grudgingly the clip-on tie on. Lily had made him wear it, by threatening to tell his mother he was the one who had made his Auntie Ingrid sing, "Temperature" at their last get-together.

It was two minutes to six and Lily still hadn't come out. James started to knock frantically. "Lily! It's almost time to go and Potters don't like to be late."

A reply came back, "Evanses make sure Potters are late when necessary. I'm an Evans, James. Face it. We are going to be fashionably late."

"How's it fashion?"

"Considering I've not been seen or heard in the press for about roughly four years, when you and I go down there, we're going to be the talk of _The Daily Prophet_."

James sighed.

About ten minutes later, Lily came out. James' mouth dropped open. Lily was beautiful!

"Close your mouth unless you're catching flies," Lily ordered, as James dazedly closed it and handed her a corsage- a white flower.

"You look great," James complimented, which Lily's face colored a bit. _I made her blush?_ Lily handed him a carnation, a blue flower pinned on the shirt.

"Alright. Let's go," Lily ordered playfully, slipping her arm into James'.

The party was loud and noisy. There was dancing everywhere. The press, as Lily predicted, had started whispering as she and James made their way to the dance floor.

"Wanna tango or bag it?" James asked. Truthfully, James and Lily had been very good dancers in both classic and modern. When you did the mathematical equation of James + Lily, the answer was impossible to beat at dance.

Lily cocked an eyebrow. "James, I haven't danced in four years. And you are asking me if I want to _bag_ it?"

"Let's see if you can keep up," James said, cheekily.

"Don't think that'll be a problem, Mr. Potter," Lily replied, a smirk on her face that could rival the future Draco Malfoy's.

_I saw fireworks from the freeway  
And behind closed eyes I cannot make them go away  
'Cause you were born on the fourth of July, freedom ring  
Now something on the surface it stings  
_

"Wouldn't _The Daily Prophet_ be spreading rumors about us? Again?" asked James, running a hand into his hair.

"Then let's give 'em something to talk about," Lily replied, dragging James onto the dance floor gracefully.

People were gasping at the sight. James Potter, heir of millionaire Potters, was dancing with a very familiar yet unfamiliar at the same time sheila. Their moves were carefully taken, as if they had taken the time to choreograph every slight movement.

After the dance was over, there was another one. It was modern and not like the classical tango music that was played before. They exchanged a look and started a series of complicated dance moves and they were the only ones on the dance floor. The others were watching jealously.

_I said something on the surface  
If you've got the poison I've got the remedy  
The remedy is the experience.  
_

People applauded and James paused to look at Lily.

-&-

"Dinner is served," announced Mr. Moseby.

People clambered over to places. Then, Lily had the perfect trick to play on James. There were only two seats left. One was next to Mr. Moseby and one was next to Madeleine Hellsies, basically the school slut. Lily sat next to Mr. Moseby and James, scowling, sat next to Hellsies, who immediately clung to him. He glared at Lily, who innocently smiled at him, which infuriated him even more.

Then, James quickly ran outside of the hotel, where the fountain was. Then he heard the worst thing that could ever traumatize a guy with hormones: a bunch of girls who looked like they had OMGD (Obsessive Male Gender Disorder) running over to him.

Lily quickly arrived to James first. She then grabbed James by the tie.

_What are you doing?_ James hissed.

_Helping you, idiot. Didn't you want that in the first place?_ asked Lily mentally as she softly gave James a kiss full on the lips. James' eyes widened in shock and then he relaxed, kissing back, but with no tongue. Girls had just stopped and just stared at the girl with her hands in James' hair as James held her, his strong arms enveloping her slim waist, kissing. Then the girls were crestfallen and went away.

Then James deepened the kiss, naturally, since he usually did in snogging sessions. The girls had left. They broke apart.

"Lily, I'm sorry," James started to apologize. But Lily had already run away.

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**A/N- So? How do you like it? Is it good? Read and review! Also, no flames! I'm only a defenseless little twelve-year-old (almost 13) girl with practically no life at all trying to make a fantasy story in my fantasy world-fan fiction. **

**So read and review! **


	2. Forget About It, It's Alright

_Love Me For Who I Am By-x. by yours truly_

Chapter 2 – Forget About It, It's Alright

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**Disclaimer-All this belongs to me…but there's one problem: I'm not J.K. Rowling so the only things you don't recognize are mine. And also, if I had owned Harry Potter and everything with that, Harry and Hermione would've gotten together, Draco and Ginny, Luna and Ron, Neville and Padma, Blaise and Pansy, Fred and Angelina, George and Alicia, Katie and Oliver, and James and Lily never would've died. Also, there would be no evil little rat named Pettigrew. (And no Tom Riddle, either.)**

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**Thank you to Carmel March, koffgollies, volleyballlizzie, Lizbeth, and Miss Bling Bling for reviewing my first chapter. I really appreciate it. I will be updating weekly and you people better review! Also, yes, Miss Bling Bling, I do love _The Suite Life of Zack & Cody_. It is one of my favorite shows. By the way, any of you see _Homecoming Warrior: Wendy Wu_? It's a great movie! Okay, now read, enjoy, and review!**

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List of Main Characters (6)

Lily Evans- 17 years old, went to Beauxbatons from 3rd to 6th year, very smart, hates James Potter because he asked her out in 3rd year and she agreed but that date was because of a bet, former friend of James, talented at ballroom dance and modern dance, karate champion, red hair, green eyes, 5' 7", sister is Squib who married Vernon Dursley (another Squib), parents are powerful members of Ministry, sassy, hot (all the boys describe her as that anyway), was Chaser for Beauxbatons and probably will be for Quidditch, an Animagus (doe), acts civil to James till he pushes her buttons, Head Girl, pureblood

James Potter- 17 years old, very smart, hates Lily Evans because she won't forgive him for that bet, former friend of Lily, talented at ballroom and modern dance (wonderful dance partner to Lily), karate champ, jet-black hair, hazel eyes, only child, parents are friends with Lily's parents, hot (girls describe him like that anyway), is Seeker at Hogwarts and captain for Gryffindor Quidditch team, an Animagus (stag), Head Boy, acts civilly till he annoys Lily to a certain point, pureblood, Lily & James left on relatively friendly terms if you call ignoring each other friendly…

Karma White- 16 years old, best friend of Lily but hasn't seen her for 4 years, strawberry blonde hair that goes to her back, clear blue eyes, dating Sirius Black, 5' 5", Keeper for Gryffindor team, half-blood

Sirius Black- 17 years old, best friend of James but hasn't seen Lily for 4 years like the others, Animagus (black doggie), jet-black hair, chocolate brown eyes, dating the love of his life Karma White, Beater for Gryffindor team. 6' 1", pureblood

Vivienne Langston- 16 years old, best friend of Lily, hasn't seen her for 4 years, werewolf, dark brown hair that goes to middle of back, amethyst purple eyes, 5' 5", Chaser for Gryffindor team, dating Remus Lupin since 6th year's beginning, pureblood

Remus Lupin- 17 years old, best friend of James but hasn't seen Lily for 4 years, werewolf, sandy-colored hair, blue eyes, 6' 3", dating Vivienne Langston since beginning of 6th year's beginning, Chaser for Gryffindor team, half-blood

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If there was one thing Lily lived by, it was by logic. She sighed, remembering that kiss. The way James had shyly and lightly ran his tongue on her bottom lip…it had more passion than some other snogging she had done over the years! It was so…passionate! There had been no tongue till that last second…and then she ran away. _Where did my Gryffindor courage go?_ _Stupid Lily. Stupid, stupid, stupid. _Where was the logic in this situation? _Apparently there wasn't any._

James just lived it the way it went. But he was confused because at the last second, Lily had kissed him back giving him entrance when he had timidly ran his tongue on her bottom lip. It was that side that was still conscious to the fact he was snogging one of his best mates. _Not that I'd snog any of my other mates either_, James added.

James stood there stunned. _What did I just do? What did Lily just do?_ He froze for a second. He had spotted some people. There were the crazy fan girls again, giggling like they were high. He then put his fingers in a cross and backed away, saying, "Back. Off."

Then he ran away like a banshee with a huge bunch of girls screaming after him, "James! Will you marry me? No! Marry _me_!" _Bloody hell. Why was I interested in girls again? Oh, right, because you didn't want to end up as an old man with hundreds of cats and doilies under your teacups._

He then stormed into the room he and Lily shared, locked the door, and relaxed. Lily watched him looking up from her book, "What are you running from?"

James sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "The girls are attacking again. Aren't girls supposed to be compassionate? Since when did they get aggressive?" James asked.

Lily laughed lightly, aware of the tension in the air. "It's the 20th century. Get used to it. Sooner or later, men will be at home knitting and the women will be at boxing matches."

"No way in hell I'm going to be doing that," James replied back.

"Well, it can be arranged," Lily remarked dryly, closing her book _Walden_.

-&-

"Er…Lily? About that kiss…I'm sorry about it. Hormones played that action," James apologized.

"It's alright." _How is it all right? _"Let's just forget it and get on with our lives, yeah?" Lily said, ignoring the fact her heart being shredded into pieces.

"Yeah, so want ice cream?" James jumped up, ignoring the fact that there was a faint unfamiliar feeling in his heart. Lily laughed.

-&-

The pair went into the hotel's diner, as James tried to hide behind Lily (which wouldn't have helped anyway, since she was so much shorter than him) from the girls. Lily laughed at his comical actions before putting her arm around James' so the girls were bawling their eyes out.

At the diner, James and Lily raced to the ice cream ("Oh goody! It's free after 9:00 PM! It's already 9:30!") and James started to put on lots of toppings sticking with his favorite ice cream- chocolate mint chip. Then he looked over at Lily's ice cream. His jaw dropped in surprise.

Lily's ice cream was humongous! She had piled on top of her chocolate mint chip ice cream with sour worms, cookie bits, M 'n' M's, Skittles, Starbursts, tapioca, different fruits like strawberries and others, and other candies. It all fit in one single ice cream cone.

Lily's eyes suggested laughter and amusement. She mock glared at James and sternly said, "James, just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I can't go wild on my sweets."

Lily rolled her eyes. " Hurry up, your ice cream's melting," she warned.

James looked down at his cone that only had cookie bits and chocolate. It was true. It was starting to drip. He quickly licked it up like a dog, which made Lily roll her eyes.

"Boys…" she muttered.

Lily twirled her tongue around her ice cream, making it full of rainbow-ish swirls due to the fruit, candy, and ice cream. James found himself watching her. He wondered how it would feel like to kiss her like that…

_Stop James! Lily is just a _friend_! You don't want to ruin the delicate friendship!_ James admonished himself. They walked back up to their hotel room, licking their cones (or rather, James ran and Lily sprinted after him amusedly).

-&-

The next day flew by quickly. Lily and James' friendship grew closer and now they were best friends again, just with hormones.

-&-

"Look! Our Hogwarts letters! Also…we're leaving today!" James excitedly shouted as Lily was amusedly observing, drinking her milk calmly. She took her letter and carefully broke the seal. Minutes later, she was found jumping next to James.

"I made Head Girl!" Lily exclaimed, bouncing on her bed for extra emphasis.

"And I made Head Boy! Think of all the pranks I can do without being caught…" James shouted, jumping on _his_ bed for _extra_ emphasis.

"James, you are not going to abuse your power as Head Boy," Lily said, stopping her jumping, and staring at James sternly.

"Oh, yeah I am," James said, crossing his arms over his chest defiantly.

Lily and James locked into a stare-down. James' eye started to twitch and he had to admit defeat.

"Fine I won't," James reluctantly and grudgingly agreed.

"That's a good boy," Lily said, giving him a peck on the cheek. "Race you to breakfast!"

"No fair, you had a head start!" James said, running after her.

-&-

James still beat her to the dining table, since his legs were longer. Lily pouted.

"Aw, Lilykins, don't be a bad sport," James said, good-naturedly. Good-naturedly or mockingly, the author cannot tell.

Lily brought her plate over, a plate full of bacon, fruit, a salad, milk, orange juice, and scrambled eggs.

When Lily and James finished eating and packing, they grinned. They grabbed their suitcases and ran downstairs to the lobby, where the Potters' chauffer, Chaz, had come already and was waiting outside in the limousine. They then raced to the limousine.

"Me first!" James shouted, like a little kid.

"No! I call shotgun up there with Chaz!" Lily exclaimed.

"Not fair! It's _my_ limo!" James protested.

"But _I'm_ a guest _and_ a lady!" Lily protested back. Then they wrestled. Lily won, since James had been taught to have more mercy around any of the female gender. James pouted.

Lily laughed. "Be a good sport," she mimicked, repeating the same words James had said to her. James growled.

Chaz looked at them amusedly. "Better hurry up now, James and Lily. They're serving Mrs. Doubtfire's fried chicken today."

"Oh goody! Fried chicken!" With that, Lily pushed James aside and sat in the front seat. She smirked. James pouted again. He quickly ran into the limo. James then groaned, remembering he just lost to a girl. A girl younger and shorter than him, nonetheless!

Chaz chuckled. He drove them all the way to the Evanses' mansion, which was next door to the Potters'.

The two raced to the front door and started pounding on the door. Chaz chuckled again. "Those two could make a pretty darn good couple."

Mrs. Doubtfire opened the door and she had a look of surprise on her face. She hugged James and then hugged Lily.

"Merlin! Lily, you've grown taller!" exclaimed Mrs. Doubtfire. Lily just shrugged.

Mrs. Doubtfire used to be Lily's nanny but now since she was older, she was their housekeeper. Mrs. Doubtfire called in the house, "Mr. and Mrs. Evans! We have a surprise visitor!"

Her parents then hugged her hard as their arms crushed her. James just looked at the trio, obviously amused since you could spot laughter in his eyes.

"Can't breathe… James… if I die… you can have my broom… going to die… from asphyxiation… can't… let… James… have… my… broom…" Lily gasped out. James was then looking offended.

"Why can't I have your broom?" James asked, as her parents let go of her.

"Because," she smirked, "my broom is the Nimbus 1001 and you got the Nimbus 1000 and mine is the newer version."

James groaned. Mrs. Evans took this chance to exclaim over her little girl who had just "grown up". Lily wasn't happy about it, though she let the sentimental parts take their time. After it was done, she bluntly said, "So…where's the fried chicken?"

"Oh my goodness, I forgot! You didn't have lunch yet!" Mrs. Doubtfire, as she left to go back into the kitchen.

Lily's parents ushered Lily into the mansion and Lily took a good look at it. _It feels so good to be back home_. The Potters were there too and they hugged her also. Then James and Lily went straight up to her room.

-&-

Lily's room was large. It had flowers draped everywhere. She had posters of Hogwarts. She had flowery purple wallpaper on the walls. There were a mini fridge, a computer, other electronic devices including a boom box, and a dance mat.

They flopped on her king size bed. Then Lily put on a song.

They listened in silence.

-&-

The song was then finished and another came on.

"That song fits you," James told her.

"It does?" asked Lily, uncertainly.

"Of course it does!" James exclaimed. "You're the greatest dancer I've met, except for me of course."

Lily grinned. Then she went on her dance mat and James followed to go with the next song.

_(Excerpt of Song)  
I hope you never lose your sense of wonder  
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger  
May you never take one single breath for granted  
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed_

_I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean  
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens  
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance  
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance_

_I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance  
Never settle for the path of least resistance  
Living might mean taking chances but they're worth taking  
Lovin' might be a mistake but it's worth making_

"I really do hope you keep on dancing," James told her.

"Why?" asked Lily curiously.

"Because all the girls can't match my speed and no ditzy blonde makes my ballroom image look _that_ dignified. So far you're the only one," James answered, which Lily knew was his way of apologizing.

"Lunchtime!" Mrs. Doubtfire called. James went and Lily told him she was going to wash up first.

-&-

Lunch was a noisy affair since they were all exclaiming about her looks and changes. Lily and James slipped away after ice cream.

"Where's Sirius? Isn't he part of the family?" asked Lily.

James chuckled. "Karma and Sirius are looking for a flat (Sirius feels he needs his own apartment), but I suspect they're doing something else."

Lily shuddered. "Don't give me any images. I'll be mentally scarred for life."

-&-

James laughed. Lily walked to the basement, where she trained herself in karate. She practiced kicks and punches. Since she needed to be flexible, she wore a pair of gray sweatpants and a black shirt with white writing on it saying, "You break her heart, I break your face." It covered her arms like a T-shirt, but her shoulders were revealed.

Soon her punching bag was… deflated. As Lily wiped the sweat off her face, she saw a tall figure in the shadows. It was James, with his back against the wall and one foot on the wall.

-&-

"Let's see if you can beat me, after four years of training since before I won every time."

Lily smirked. "You're on."

James crooked his fingers in a "come hither" motion and said, "Come and get me."

They then glanced at each other warily. Then Lily struck.

James parried all of her moves, surprised of her amazing defense. She had pretty good offense also. He then yelled at himself inwardly, since he had underestimated Lily again.

Seeing James was occupied, she pinned him down and put a sock clad foot on his chest, triumphantly.

"Lily! James!" Mrs. Evans called, making Lily and James scramble up the stairs. "There's going to be an end-of-the-summer masquerade!"

_Oh great. More dresses. More of James being my escort._ Lily thought. Though she didn't flinch at the last thought…

_Oh great. More suits. More of Lily being my dance partner, _James thought. Though like Lily, he flinched at not the last thought…

What was going on?

-&-

**A/N- Sorry for not posting so soon. The truth is, I finished this about a week ago but the Document Manager couldn't upload it. I then realized I could export this. I'm so stupid I didn't realize this so sooner!**

**Anyway, forgive me please. Read and review also. **

**Since school's ending in about five days, I'm going to be kinda busy. **

**Also, I might not be updating really quickly because the whole HIV/AIDS homework my teacher assigned is going to take awhile. **

**So, I'm mighty busy! Read and review, please?**


	3. The End Of Summer Masquerade

_Love Me For Who I Am By-x. by yours truly_

Chapter 3 – The End-of-Summer Masquerade

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**Disclaimer-All this belongs to me…but there's one problem: I'm not J.K. Rowling so the only things you don't recognize are mine. And also, if I had owned Harry Potter and everything with that, Harry and Hermione would've gotten together, Draco and Ginny, Luna and Ron, Neville and Padma, Blaise and Pansy, Fred and Angelina, George and Alicia, Katie and Oliver, and James and Lily never would've died. Also, there would be no evil little rat named Pettigrew. (And no Tom Riddle, either.)**

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**Thank you to Carmel March and Miss Bling Bling for reviewing the second chapter. Later in this chapter, the songs are not mine at all! **

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List of Main Characters (6)

Lily Evans- 17 years old, went to Beauxbatons from 3rd to 6th year, very smart, hates James Potter because he asked her out in 3rd year and she agreed but that date was because of a bet, former friend of James, talented at ballroom dance and modern dance, karate champion, red hair, green eyes, 5' 7", sister is Squib who married Vernon Dursley (another Squib), parents are powerful members of Ministry, sassy, hot (all the boys describe her as that anyway), was Chaser for Beauxbatons and probably will be for Quidditch, an Animagus (doe), acts civil to James till he pushes her buttons, Head Girl, pureblood

James Potter- 17 years old, very smart, hates Lily Evans because she won't forgive him for that bet, former friend of Lily, talented at ballroom and modern dance (wonderful dance partner to Lily), karate champ, jet-black hair, hazel eyes, only child, parents are friends with Lily's parents, hot (girls describe him like that anyway), is Seeker at Hogwarts and captain for Gryffindor Quidditch team, an Animagus (stag), Head Boy, acts civilly till he annoys Lily to a certain point, pureblood, Lily & James left on relatively friendly terms if you call ignoring each other friendly…

Karma White- 16 years old, best friend of Lily but hasn't seen her for 4 years, strawberry blonde hair that goes to her back, clear blue eyes, dating Sirius Black, 5' 5", Keeper for Gryffindor team, half-blood

Sirius Black- 17 years old, best friend of James but hasn't seen Lily for 4 years like the others, Animagus (black doggie), jet-black hair, chocolate brown eyes, dating the love of his life Karma White, Beater for Gryffindor team. 6' 1", pureblood

Vivienne Langston- 16 years old, best friend of Lily, hasn't seen her for 4 years, werewolf, dark brown hair that goes to middle of back, amethyst purple eyes, 5' 5", Chaser for Gryffindor team, dating Remus Lupin since 6th year's beginning, pureblood

Remus Lupin- 17 years old, best friend of James but hasn't seen Lily for 4 years, werewolf, sandy-colored hair, blue eyes, 6' 3", dating Vivienne Langston since beginning of 6th year's beginning, Chaser for Gryffindor team, half-blood

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Lily was in her room, working on making her dress flawless. Her costume was very complicated. It was also very heavy. She was planning to be the English teacher in _The King and I_. She could make the dress by herself but she needed someone to make the measurements. James was in the next room, borrowing one of Mr. Evans' tuxedoes. She had an idea…

"James!" Lily called. She wondered why her parents had told James to use one of her dad's old suits. Then she remembered. They were authentic to those of the ambassadors in _The King and I_. They had decided to dress up to match each other. Since they had recently seen that movie, they chose that one.

"Yes?" James asked, as he came out with a tie hazardously at one angle. He had part of his shirt buttoned but in the wrong holes. He looked distressed and embarrassed.

"Can you help measure me so I can make my dress? Mrs. Doubtfire is making chicken and the house elves are helping her. Our moms are gossiping and our fathers are trying to understand golf," Lily said, fidgeting with her necklace. She had only two hours before the masquerade!

"Sure", he said as he took off the tie and then buttoned his shirt again-the right way. Then they went into her room. As James took the measuring tape out, Lily took out her costume's material.

James was measuring her waist. Her body tensed at his touches, though she just assumed it was because they hadn't seen each other for so long. Lily kept a mask of calmness as he wrapped the tape around her waist. When he was done, she thanked him and asked him to bend the metal "frame" that was supposed to be under the dress.

As James worked on the frame, Lily was sewing laces to her blue dress. There was some tension in the air and it was killing Lily literally. James could see that so he decided to speak up.

"So… are we going to just work in silence?" he asked, breaking the tension.

"I don't know. What do you think?" asked Lily back.

"Well, the silence is killing me! We need noise!" James exclaimed.

"Pisces, like you and me, does not like noise," Lily retorted.

James swore under his breath and then finished the frame. He handed it to Lily, who in return thanked him and gave him the mask he was going to wear. Lily had said she'd make them.

Lily sighed as James left. She was almost finished with the laces. As Lily sewed the pieces, she hummed _Catch Your Wave_. Humming passed the time. She was almost done with the whole dress, using some magic. She placed a Featherweight Charm on the frame and started to attach the frame to her dress with some simple Sticking Charms.

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Lily was frantic. There was only twenty more minutes before it started! She quickly stepped into her private shower, rinsed herself, and clad herself in a fluffy white towel.

Then as Lily was about to take her towel off to slip into her undergarments that were part of her dress, James intruded, asking about the hat.

"Lily?"

Lily screamed and hid herself in her towel. She _was_ wearing some underwear but no way was she letting James see her in that!

"Whoops! Sorry Lily…" James started to apologize.

Lily glowered at him. "If I wasn't half naked right now, I'd _so_ be castrating you. If I were you, I'd run."

James ran out and Lily cooled down. Lily sighed. She quickly started to wear her dress and placed a very complicated and strong Locking Charm onto the door.

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She looked beautiful. She had on a periwinkle blue dress with no makeup. She preferred a natural look. Her hair was tied up in a very tight bun, leaving no strand free. On her feet were softly made blue dancing shoes, matching her dress. She had on a simple yet dignified soft blue mask on, hiding her vibrant green eyes and giving the impression of a teacher.

Then she glanced at her clock. It was 5:55! In five minutes, it would start! Luckily she could Apparate, since she passed her test. She doubted she would need to Apparate, though. The masquerade was next door, at the Potters'.

She rushed down the stairs where her parents were waiting, along with James, who was smiling meekly at her. She mock glared at him and they left to go next door.

As they walked next door, Lily finally had a good look on how James looked. He had on a black tuxedo with a black sparkly mask, which hid his telltale hazel eyes.

As they entered the ballroom, they went to the dance floor immediately. Hazel eyes met green eyes. They nodded. They began to waltz along with the other couples. The other couples noticed and immediately cleared a spot in the dead center to let James and Lily dance.

Many were whispering, as James and Lily were dancing. There were snatches of conversation they could hear.

"James and Lily…together?" "Never saw that coming." "Are they truly together?" "They make a pretty damn good couple." "George! Don't curse!" "Sorry, Helen." "Even if they weren't a couple, there's sexual tension." "Yes. They are finally together. Took them long enough."

As Lily twirled after giving James a subtle signal, she thought, _Wow. They think we're together. As if!_

James was thinking, _Me and Lily? Together? That's so funny._

They finished their waltz and then another song came on, leading people to go stop their waltzing and start modern dancing.

Lily and James glanced at each other and began carefully taken steps.

_Wondering the streets, in a world underneath it all  
Nothing seems to be, nothing tastes as sweet  
As what I can't have  
Like you and the way that you're twisting your hair  
round your finger  
Tonight I'm not afraid to tell you  
What I feel about you. _

_I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have  
and cannonball into the water  
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have  
For you I will  
For you I will_

_Wondering the streets, in a world underneath it all  
Nothing seems to be, nothing tastes as sweet  
As what I can't have  
Like you and the way that you're twisting your hair  
round your finger  
Tonight I'm not afraid to tell you  
What I feel about you._

James twirled Lily around, wondering about how he felt about Lily. Meanwhile, Lily was thinking the same thing. She was scared. She, being a girl, knew what she was feeling quicker. But being a tomboy, she fought those feelings off.

_I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have  
and cannonball into the water  
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have  
For you I will  
For you I will _

_If I could dim the lights in the mall  
And create a mood I would  
Shout out your name so it echoes in every room  
I would _

_That's what I'd do,  
That's what I'd do  
That's what I'd do  
To get through to you _

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When they finished, nobody except them were on the dance floor. They were being stared at. Lily didn't like being stared at. So she did a _Sonorous _(sp?) and screamed at them, "Stop staring! Didn't your mothers and fathers teach you any manners! The nerve of people!"

She _would_ have continued by waving obscene gestures and swearing profanities in English and other languages, but James had clamped a hand over her mouth. Lily smirked. She then licked his hand.

"EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" James screamed. "SHE LICKED MY HAND LIKE A FREAKIN' DOG WOULD HAVE!" Running out of the ballroom, he screamed, "BEWARE OF THE HUMAN CHRISTMAS TREE! SHE BITES AND SHE MIGHT HAVE RABIES!"

Lily heard the remark. She politely curtsied, picked up the edge of her dress, and ran out. "YOU ARE SO GOING TO GET IT POTTER! YOUR PARENTS WILL NOT BE HAPPY ABOUT THE FACT YOU JUST EMBARRASSED YOUR FAMILY!"

The crowd laughed at the pair's antics. Lily started shouting at him as she ran with amazing speed for one in a dress and shoes not meant for running.

She shouted to him in French.

Needless to say, James understood the French and started running faster. Lily ran _even_ faster and then grabbed him by the collar. Then she wandlessly levitated him and threw him on a nearby couch, since they were in the library. James wondered why his parents weren't helping him and why her parents weren't stopping her. The truth was they were cracking up too much and since Lily and James were the youngest there, they let them have their fun. Isn't that sweet?

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The adults were chatting about the sexual tension between the youngest children of the Potters and the Evanses (with said families concurring) when James came back in, soaked. Lily was right next to him, with her arms crossed over her chest with a smirk on her face, giving the Draco Malfoy's smirk a run for his money.

"I was pushed into the fountain," James said plainly, giving a mock glare towards Lily.

Lily just smirked back nonchalantly in response. "I was just giving your ego a little… cool-off, you know? Your ego was so flaming, I just had to dire need to extinguish it."

The guests chuckled at the humiliated James. "Never underestimate her, James," Mr. Evans warned him.

"Yes sir. I have forgotten that major rule. Now I must go and get my own back," James strolled off in the direction of Lily, who was daintily walking outside. She was at the fountain.

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"When have things changed?" Lily said, making it sound rhetorical as James came along. Knowing Lily, she wanted an answer.

"What do you mean?" James asked.

"I mean now. And before… Before we were only thirteen, sniping at each other at every chance. Now, and I'm on risky ground using this term, we're practically _flirting _with each other!"

"We're reaching the climax of our puberties and also we're hormone (Lily snorted at that) infused teenagers. Okay, so I'm the only hormone-infused teenage person here," James added hastily when Lily raised her eyebrow. (And that raising of her eyebrow was just damn sexy, according to James and his pervy thoughts.)

"James?" Lily asked sweetly.

James groaned inwardly. He knew that tone. It was usually something that was unexpected.

"Race you to the ballroom!" as Lily took off.

James groaned and said, "You'll pay for that!"

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By the time they were in the ballroom, people were already dancing. Lily just smiled and they went on the dance floor, causing many to look up, get out of the way, and watch. Because when Lily and James dance, you don't call them killer dancers for nothing!

_For all those times you stood by me  
For all the truth that you made me see  
For all the joy you brought to my life  
For all the wrong that you made right_

For every dream you made come true  
For all the love I found in you  
I'll be forever thankful baby  
You're the one who held me up  
Never let me fall  
You're the one who saw me through, through it all 

_You were my strength when I was weak  
You were my voice when I couldn't speak  
You were my eyes when I couldn't see  
You saw the best there was in me_

Lifted me up when I couldn't reach  
You gave me faith 'coz you believed  
I'm everything I am  
Because you loved me 

Lily and James swayed in tune with the song. It was one of Lily's favorites. In fact, they swayed so distance-ranging; they almost crashed the punch table on the opposite side of the room!

_You gave me wings and made me fly  
You touched my hand I could touch the sky  
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me  
You said no star was out of reach_

You stood by me and I stood tall  
I had your love I had it all  
I'm grateful for each day you gave me  
Maybe I don't know that much  
But I know this much is true  
I was blessed because I was loved by you 

_You were always there for me  
The tender wind that carried me  
A light in the dark shining your love into my life  
You've been my inspiration  
Through the lies you were the truth  
My world is a better place because of you_

You gave me faith 'coz you believed  
I'm everything I am  
Because you loved me

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"James?" asked Lily as the song faded.

"Hmm?" James grunted in response.

"If I ever go out with you, promise me you'll remind me to whack myself on the head."

"Is that an insult?" James chuckled.

"Hell yeah. I'm serious. If I ever do go out with you, the world would end."

He sighed. "So are we continuing tradition this year?"

"Why not? It'll be fun. Sleepover at my house!"

"Oh no. Please don't tell me you're going to _Aguamenti _me again."

"Nope, something even better. Ice and mud! And then I'll melt it all over you!"

"Not fair."

"Yes it is. It's a _science_ fair."

"How the bloody hell is it science?"

"The mud and the ice. What happens when fire is added to that mixture?"

"Don't forget the human part."

"Who said you _were_ human?"

"Who said I wasn't?"

"Argh! Let's change the topic then."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Are we going to just sit in silence right now?"

"Silence is golden. Now if we both shut up, we'll be rich."

"Don't get it."

"Didn't expect you to."

"So…have you gotten a boyfriend currently?"

"Have you gotten a girlfriend currently?"

"Ah, touché."

"Seriously, you got a girlfriend?"

"Why? Jealous?"

"Hell no. I'm not a dyke. I just want to tell your girlfriend about some of the most embarrassing things you've ever done."

"Nope. James Potter is a playboy. That is why James Potter is possibly making his fan club want him even more."

"Thank god I'm not part of that club then. Why is James Potter speaking funny in third person?"

"Have no idea. Didn't even realize it in the first place."

"Oblivious idiotic moron."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"I'm freakishly bored."

"No surprise there."

"What's that supposed to mean!"

"It's supposed to mean that you are always wanting to be moving."

"I knew that."

"I beg to differ."

Music floated out from the ballroom.

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_Life is a highway  
I wanna ride it all night long  
If you're going my way  
I wanna drive it all night long_

They smiled as they made eye contact shyly. The humor in the air was gone. Everyone inside ooh'ed and ah'ed. The adults inside started whispering about how to get them together. These two were so blind. But then again, love can be frustratingly blind sometimes.

Song finished; they raced each other back to Lily's mansion. James won. He _Accio_'ed his necessities and put it into the forgotten duffel bag he had once shrunk into his pocket for Mr. Evans.

Little did they know that one day James would remind Lily to whack herself on the head.

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**A/N- I want to get to the really great parts in Hogwarts. And besides, Sirius can then prove his small attention span to you! Read and review please? **

**Anyway, I still have to go to summer school! Boo hoo! More torture and since my mom told the teachers there how smart I am, I might have to be with the seventh graders. Yikes. I'll be the smallest one there! Anyway, just read and review and I promise to shut up for this chapter. Have a nice day!**


	4. The Hogwarts Express

_Love Me For Who I Am By-x. by yours truly_

Chapter 4 – The Hogwarts Express

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**Disclaimer-All this belongs to me…but there's one problem: I'm not J.K. Rowling so the only things you don't recognize are mine. And also, if I had owned Harry Potter and everything with that, Harry and Hermione would've gotten together, Draco and Ginny, Luna and Ron, Neville and Padma, Blaise and Pansy, Fred and Angelina, George and Alicia, Katie and Oliver, and James and Lily never would've died. Also, there would be no evil little rat named Pettigrew. (And no Tom Riddle, either.) **

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**Thank you to grannyHPfan, C-r-I-t-s-z-o-r (for the first chapter), Drunk Cow, Lady of the Rouge, lizbeth, and summer for reviewing so kindly. I'm kind of bored. Anyway, erm… C-r-I-t-s-z-o-r, I'm _sorry_ for making _such_ a Mary Sue. It's not my fault really. Ever since I was little, I've dreamed of the perfect couple in love. Yeah, I know. I'm a hopeless romantic. I have been, ever since I read _Cinderella_ at age 4.**

**Now I'm twelve, and it's really hard to let go of the habit. **

**And grannyHPfan, I'll admit this and hopefully it won't ruin the surprise drama later in the story, Lily and James _will_ get a boyfriend and a girlfriend. And I'll tell you this much also as a special treat. Lily and James' relationships involve their boyfriend/girlfriend cheating on each other with each other's boyfriend/girlfriend. Confused? **

**Basically, it means Lily's boyfriend is secretly going out with James' girlfriend. Yeah. Complicated. Heh, heh. But then again, I tend to do that a lot. The complicating thing, I mean. Not the thing with plots of cheating on each other. **

**Sorry for the delay but I'm getting writer's block. Well, not really, but I have so many ideas, I just have to write them down. So now you know why it's taking so long to update.**

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List of Main Characters (6)

Lily Evans- 17 years old, went to Beauxbatons from 3rd to 6th year, very smart, hates James Potter because he asked her out in 3rd year and she agreed but that date was because of a bet, former friend of James, talented at ballroom dance and modern dance, karate champion, red hair, green eyes, 5' 7", sister is Squib who married Vernon Dursley (another Squib), parents are powerful members of Ministry, sassy, hot (all the boys describe her as that anyway), was Chaser for Beauxbatons and probably will be for Quidditch, an Animagus (doe), acts civil to James till he pushes her buttons, Head Girl, pureblood

James Potter- 17 years old, very smart, hates Lily Evans because she won't forgive him for that bet, former friend of Lily, talented at ballroom and modern dance (wonderful dance partner to Lily), karate champ, jet-black hair, hazel eyes, only child, parents are friends with Lily's parents, hot (girls describe him like that anyway), is Seeker at Hogwarts and captain for Gryffindor Quidditch team, an Animagus (stag), Head Boy, acts civilly till he annoys Lily to a certain point, pureblood, Lily & James left on relatively friendly terms if you call ignoring each other friendly…

Karma White- 16 years old, best friend of Lily but hasn't seen her for 4 years, strawberry blonde hair that goes to her back, clear blue eyes, dating Sirius Black, 5' 5", Keeper for Gryffindor team, half-blood

Sirius Black- 17 years old, best friend of James but hasn't seen Lily for 4 years like the others, Animagus (black doggie), jet-black hair, chocolate brown eyes, dating the love of his life Karma White, Beater for Gryffindor team. 6' 1", pureblood

Vivienne Langston- 16 years old, best friend of Lily, hasn't seen her for 4 years, werewolf, dark brown hair that goes to middle of back, amethyst purple eyes, 5' 5", Chaser for Gryffindor team, dating Remus Lupin since 6th year's beginning, pureblood

Remus Lupin- 17 years old, best friend of James but hasn't seen Lily for 4 years, werewolf, sandy-colored hair, blue eyes, 6' 3", dating Vivienne Langston since beginning of 6th year's beginning, Chaser for Gryffindor team, half-blood

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Lily woke up in the morning with a start. She had woken up panting! It was five o'clock in the morning. She had this odd dream…she had been kissing James! And what surprising was it wasn't even romantic and she actually didn't give a shit about whom she was snogging!

_Lily's Dream_

_James had shoved Lily onto the wall in the hallway. It was deserted. James was taking a violent kicking and thrashing Lily in his arms to Nurse Pomfrey since she had broken her arm during the Gryffindor Quidditch practice. Needless to say, Lily said she was fine but James said she had a broken arm. He had placed a temporary makeshift cast on her arm, so it wouldn't hurt so much._

_Finally James couldn't take it anymore. The teachers had held different betting pools, for all he cared. The sexual tension was so thick someone could cut it! He firmly but gently laid his lips onto Lily's. Immediately her body relaxed and stopped giving him some bruises on his arms, chest, upper thighs, and … maybe some parts shouldn't be mentioned._

_Lily was kissing him back, letting him gain entrance into her mouth. Lily's legs wrapped around James' waist. She moaned softly. He gently pushed her against the wall, not breaking the kiss…_

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So that was Lily's dream. Needless to say, James had the same dream too…

Lily snuck out of her bedroom and crept into James' bedroom, carefully so she wouldn't wake him up. He was a very light sleeper.

_Damn_, she thought. She had slipped onto a traitorous spot on the floor, where the wooden plank wasn't properly assembled. Luckily James didn't wake up. He must be dreaming about something good then, she thought. She never did guess James was dreaming about him making out with her.

She snapped her fingers. Instantly a bucket of mud and ice materialized into her hand. James woke up at the noise.

"What the hell?" was all he said.

Lily smirked. "Did someone order mud and ice? Coming right up!"

With that, she tipped the bucket all of James. The bed was soiled also but she just muttered a quick Scourgify. Then for fun, she added a little heat onto the dirty James, who was immobilized by the fact he was hit by a spell. James grimaced and glanced at the clock.

"YOU WOKE ME UP AT FUCKIN' FIVE O'CLOCK IN THE BLOODY MORNING!" exclaimed James, waking up the Evanses.

"MISTER POTTER! (That meant James was in trouble.) REFRAIN FROM USING PROFANITY IN THIS HOUSE!" yelled out Mrs. Evans automatically. James inwardly grinned. He wondered if she was related to "Minnie" McGonagall. Lily was tapping her foot impatiently.

"HURRY UP AND GET DRESSED!" she yelled at him, startling him and making him realize he was still covered in icy mud or was it muddy ice? Oh well. That wasn't important right now. Cleaning up was.

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"It's finally the day we go back to Hogwarts!" exclaimed James as he took off his shirt, revealing a well-toned chest, which was probably from Quidditch. Lily watched him for a few seconds and then replied, "Finally seeing how little Siri has grown."

"Lily, hate to tell you this but Sirius is taller than you now. So is Remus," informed James.

"Hurry up! You still need to shower and clean up and it's already 5:30!" Lily exclaimed. "Breakfast is at eight and before we eat breakfast, we are going to jog outside. I did this for four years at 4 AM without breakfast first, so you WILL survive!" Lily added, already jumping up and down on his bed.

James ruffled his messy hair. "Are you high?" he asked cautiously. When Lily was high, she usually did the oddest things.

"I guess so. I've been told by various people I get high very often, usually triggered by boredom," she replied, smirking as she saw James gulp.

James rushed into the shower at those words. Last time he had been victim to Lily's hyperactive self and the results involved a girl named Jamie looking very alike to the male James. He didn't want a rerun.

"Hurry up!" Lily barked like an army sergeant. Her temper was getting the better of her. She tried calming herself down but she really was eager to see James suffer during the jog. She hadn't told James the jog's length, which was 6 miles.

James had only been showering for 2 minutes when he heard Lily's aggravated voice. Just to piss her off some more, he took twenty minutes in there. When he finally came out with a towel draped around his waist, Lily was screaming at him at the top of her lungs, miraculously not waking anyone up.

James wished he never learned French. Right now Lily was screaming out French that made him cringe at the images.

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As James was led into his large closet, he wondered where Lily got those powerful lungs. She had said all those things in one breath without hesitation! He wondered if she had ever considered working for the Navy in the States. As he slipped on a pair of black comfortable and flexible jeans, he _Wingardium_ _Leviosa_'ed a white large T-shirt that said, "Quidditch rocks." And on the back, it said, "But you don't. Therefore, Quidditch wins!" He quickly slipped into Nike sneakers and came out of the closet.

Lily mumbled, "Took you long enough." As she spun around to the door, James got a good view of what she was wearing. She was wearing a gray tank top that said, "I'm not opinionated…" and on the back it said, "…I'm just always right." She was also wearing loose and comfortable gray sweatpants that showed off the build of her slender legs.

It was 6:20 when they began. They began jogging at a reasonably slow pace.

Lily was surprised he could breathe normally and still be able to keep up with her speed, which was relatively fast for an average person. _But then again_, she thought, _James Potter wasn't like most_.

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They chatted among the way. He shared news about Hogwarts' previous parties and who won the Quidditch cup and so on and so forth. Lily shared her experiences of Beauxbatons. James was surprised to hear about her being a female player, probably the biggest one, at Beauxbatons (when guys in Durmstrang came over, which was pretty common).

"So, Lily, how many guys did you dump in one day?"

"James are you trying to beat my own records? 'Cause I don't think so! Anyway, most that I dumped in one day was… 5 guys."

"And why?"

"One dude was annoying, another was like hygienic product-prone, another started making out with another girl the moment after he asked me out, another just plain decided to try and feel me up which I made him pay dearly for, and another was like, ew."

"You're very picky."

"Thanks for stating the obvious, cap'n."

"I'm only a Quidditch captain, not anything else. Which captain are you implying?"

"Smart-ass."

"Not sure about my ass' intelligence but I'll guarantee I have a very nice ass."

"Conceited egoistic prat."

"Hmph. You're mean."

"That's what I am, don't wear it out. Now tell me how many girls you dumped in one day."

"Erm… about 3 or 4?"

"Wow. Why?"

"One started calling me Jamesie-Poo, another started sniffing my wardrobe, another started to take my cologne that my mother gave me, and another planned 'our' future!"

"That was funny! They planned your future! That's ridiculous!"

"Shut up, I have many stalkers that would just love to do away with you."

"Remember, Jamie? I have a black belt in karate. You do also, but I got it first."

"You're never going to let me live it down, are you?"

"Nope! Seriously, a girl younger and shorter than you got the belt first! And that was when we were twelve!"

"It isn't my fault! Just because you're younger an hour than I am does not make a big difference."

"I beg to differ. After all, you complained about this 'outrage' for five months and only stopped because your mom said she wouldn't give you any ice cream anymore."

"I don't like you."

"Yes, you do, Jamie. Because if you didn't, you would have given me back those broom cleaning sets I gave you for Christmas."

"Okay, never mind. I like you back."

"That's better, Jamie. By the way, why do you let me call you Jamie but not other girls?"

"Why do you let me call you Lilykins and not others?"

"Ah, another touché. Well, I only let you call me that because that means I can call you Jamie."

"Eh, fair enough. I let you for the same reason. And besides the fact that 'James' sounds too adult-ish."

"That's got to be the most immature reason I've ever heard of."

"I am immature, remember? You said that four years, two weeks, five days, three hours, two minutes, and seven seconds ago."

"You kept track?"

"Yep. After all, it isn't everyday when you trick your best friend into a date at Hogsmeade."

There was uneasy silence.

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"I still haven't forgiven you for that."

"I know," James replied sadly, "I'm sorry that really happened. I just hope it never happens again."

"I'm only going to forgive you right now because we're going to be Heads and we shouldn't be having fights about some third year trick. Now we turn around."

They turned around and James jogged after Lily, who was near a little shack that James recognized as a childhood favorite among them both. It was where they had both shared their first… that's a story for later.

Lily went into the shack and pulled out two mountain-bikes- a gold one and a red one. Lily took the gold one.

"Hop on," she told James. James took the red one and they biked back. As they talked, biking at the same time, he found out they had almost run out of time. The train was leaving at 10:20 and it was already 8:30.

"Hurry up! We're late for breakfast!" Lily exclaimed.

They arrived back at 9:00. Needless to say, the Evanses were already eating breakfast.

James and Lily had an eating contest and as usual James won. Lily pouted. They bolted upstairs after five minutes of gobbling and making a mess on the kitchen table. Lily's parents just stared at the mess blankly.

Lily and James grabbed their suitcases and trudged downstairs.

-&-

Now, James was wearing black jeans that had a hole in one knee and a black shirt that said, "Proud to be a Non-Gangsta." Lily was unfamiliar looking. She had soft wavy white-blonde hair that reached her waist and gray-blue eyes. She wore a white shirt saying, "If you all agreed to me…" on the front and on the back it said, "…you'd all be right." She had on white jeans that sparkled.

James ruffled his hair. "Why are you looking like a very sexy ditzy blonde?" he asked her.

Lily shrugged and looked unfazed when James called her a sexy blonde. "This glamour charm will disguise me until I take it off during the Sorting Ceremony. I don't want people knowing it's me yet," she explained. "I want a little pizzazz when I reveal myself. And besides, the Daily Prophet doesn't even know for sure if it was me."

"So…the only student at Hogwarts that knows you're back after a mysterious four-year disappearance is I?"

"Yep!" she grinned. "Now let's go and get our parents' lazy asses out so we can go already."

Mr. Evans, Mrs. Evans, Mr. Potter, Mrs. Potter, Lily, and James piled into the large car. Lily and James then sat in the front next to Chaz (the front of the limo is big kind of like in that episode of Sister, Sister). They had argued over it while the adults looked on amusedly. They had continued to argue for 15 minutes when the adults realized it wasn't going to get anywhere. So, Mrs. Potter shoved them both into the front while they were glaring at each other.

They then arrived at the train station. Lily and James argued about whom going into the barrier first in 9 ¾. Seeing it wouldn't hurt to do the same thing twice, Mrs. Potter and Mrs. Evans (they're best friends) shoved them both in. They were last seen scowling at each other. The mothers just waved a good-bye.

As soon as James was in the train station where the Hogwarts Express was, girls started to whisper and scowl at the to-die-for blonde, who was on his arm. (James had blackmailed Lily into doing that so… don't get ideas.)

They boarded the train and walked into the Heads Compartment. Lily promptly took out a book and started to read. James huffed in annoyance.

"What?" Lily asked, looking up.

"We're on the train and you're reading," he said, huffing and putting his arms on his chest defiantly. His lower lip was stuck out and she had to admit to herself he looked cute.

"Ah, but you don't know what I'm reading."

"Okay, then what is it?"

"How to Handle a Guy Who's Named After a Dog Constellation."

"That sounds oddly specific."

"It should. Our Transfiguration professor herself wrote it. I bought this for Karma since in her previous letters and that piece of info you gave me that I didn't need to know told me she's dating Sirius."

"And James, why aren't you with Remus and Sirius in another compartment? I thought you were going to wait for the meeting to commence to come back."

"I didn't want you to be alone waiting here and besides, Sirius and Remus are too busy snogging their girlfriends."

"Oh. Okay, then. Now, I'm going to continue reading the book about a guy who oddly is specific to the description of Sirius."

They then settled down to wait for the prefects so they could hold their meeting.

-&-

**A/N- Sorry for the fact there are no songs in this chapter. There aren't going to be frequent songs in here, unless they decide to go dancing or something. School just ended yesterday. -sob-**

**I already miss school...**

**Anyway read, review, and have a nice day! **


	5. Onward to Hogwarts

Love Me For Who I Am By-x. by yours truly 

Chapter 5 – Onward to Hogwarts

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**Disclaimer-All this belongs to me…but there's one problem: I'm not J.K. Rowling so the only things you don't recognize are mine. And also, if I had owned Harry Potter and everything with that, Harry and Hermione would've gotten together, Draco and Ginny, Luna and Ron, Neville and Padma, Blaise and Pansy, Fred and Angelina, George and Alicia, Katie and Oliver, and James and Lily never would've died. Also, there would be no evil little rat named Pettigrew. (And no Tom Riddle, either.)**

-&-

**Thank you to grannyHPfan, Alaskan Chick, Drunk Cow, Lady of the Rouge, Carmel March,** **Charisa, and szabatka2 for reviewing so kindly. I'm kind of bored. And yeah, I live in the state of New York, for those wondering. As a young author, I must admit my teachers say I have the best English skills in my grade. I, speaking for myself, am saying I'm not very good at it. Well, I am but the point is if you spot grammar errors, just tell me (kindly also because I don't like being yelled at by other people). And the reason for my grammar problems is I don't have a beta. But I'll survive when I go back to Saturday school with my favorite Stuyvesant English teacher there.**

**Also, I'm going to be pretty busy. I'm getting braces, going to Tennessee, going to summer school, and having Saturday piano lessons. It's very stressful for a will-be seventh grader so forgive me when my brain cells malfunction. Luckily I have some days to relax and I'm taking that advantage to go and write whatever in hell's running through my mind. **

**Now, have a nice day. This will be my last chapter before I go to Tennessee.**

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List of Main Characters (6)

Lily Evans- 17 years old, went to Beauxbatons from 3rd to 6th year, very smart, hates James Potter because he asked her out in 3rd year and she agreed but that date was because of a bet, former friend of James, talented at ballroom dance and modern dance, karate champion, red hair, green eyes, 5' 7", sister is Squib who married Vernon Dursley (another Squib), parents are powerful members of Ministry, sassy, hot (all the boys describe her as that anyway), was Chaser for Beauxbatons and probably will be for Quidditch, an Animagus (doe), acts civil to James till he pushes her buttons, Head Girl, pureblood

James Potter- 17 years old, very smart, hates Lily Evans because she won't forgive him for that bet, former friend of Lily, talented at ballroom and modern dance (wonderful dance partner to Lily), karate champ, jet-black hair, hazel eyes, only child, parents are friends with Lily's parents, hot (girls describe him like that anyway), is Seeker at Hogwarts and captain for Gryffindor Quidditch team, an Animagus (stag), Head Boy, acts civilly till he annoys Lily to a certain point, pureblood, Lily & James left on relatively friendly terms if you call ignoring each other friendly…

Karma White- 16 years old, best friend of Lily but hasn't seen her for 4 years, strawberry blonde hair that goes to her back, clear blue eyes, dating Sirius Black, 5' 5", Keeper for Gryffindor team, half-blood

Sirius Black- 17 years old, best friend of James but hasn't seen Lily for 4 years like the others, Animagus (black doggie), jet-black hair, chocolate brown eyes, dating the love of his life Karma White, Beater for Gryffindor team. 6' 1", pureblood

Vivienne Langston- 16 years old, best friend of Lily, hasn't seen her for 4 years, werewolf, dark brown hair that goes to middle of back, amethyst purple eyes, 5' 5", Chaser for Gryffindor team, dating Remus Lupin since 6th year's beginning, pureblood

Remus Lupin- 17 years old, best friend of James but hasn't seen Lily for 4 years, werewolf, sandy-colored hair, blue eyes, 6' 3", dating Vivienne Langston since beginning of 6th year's beginning, Chaser for Gryffindor team, half-blood

-&-

Apart from James ordering practically everything from the cart and Lily buying two Chocolate Frogs, the ride was uneventful. They did have a little banter but that's not important.

"The prefects should be coming in right," Lily looked up as the door opened with prefects entering, "now."

The prefects then looked at James indifferently and shifted their gazes to Lily, who was posing as Layla Richards. The prefects of all the Houses, minus the Slytherins though Snape did ogle at her quite a bit, stared at Lily admiringly.

"Hi, I'm Layla Richards and I'm your Head Girl this year. I'm an exchange student from Beauxbatons," Lily introduced herself, adding in a mild French accent for a realistic touch.

"And I'm James Potter, Head Boy _and_ the Gryffindor Quidditch team captain," James said, before going into a lecture (with Lily's help) on what patrols and stuff they were supposed to do.

"And that concludes our meeting for this day. This meeting is adjourned," James finished up, dismissing the prefects.

"Well, that was fun," Lily remarked dryly as the last prefect exited.

"_No_, it was fantastic," James replied, as sarcastically as Lily had replied.

-&-

"Now, what do we do?" James asked Lily, who was immersed in a different book titled _The Da Vinci Code_ by Dan Brown. (That book was awesome! I loved it. I just didn't get the things about the Christians and stuff.)

"_I_, unlike _you_, will be reading and recounting what we did yesterday," Lily replied.

"You mean when we went buying our books at last minute and then went to pig out on junk food while watching _Monty Python and the Holy Grail_? (I just watched it 3 days ago and I thought it was hilarious about the coconuts and sparrows. My favorite parts were when King Arthur was chopping the limbs off of the Black Knight, when they were crossing the Bridge of Death or whatever, when the old man insisted he wasn't dead, when they were in the cave of _Arghhhhh_, the fatal heart attack of the comic artist, and when the crowd insisted that certain woman was a witch. MOVING ON.)

"Yeah, that was fun," Lily smiled absentmindedly as she turned a page.

It was a very long silence then. James had decided to take out a similar book to Lily's titled _The Flanders Panel_ by Arturo Pérez-Reverte. The silence was more of a thoughtful one than an awkward one though, as they both struggled to think about how to say something to the other.

-&-

The train pitched to a stop and Lily and James got off, trying to get out of the throng of other Hogwarts students. They got into a separate carriage than all the other students after making sure everyone had safely entered the carriages (at Lily's insistence while James was trying to get out of the work).

The pair then was aware of the fact that Lily was going to go and take off her disguise.

"You know," James said thoughtfully, "I'm going to miss seeing you as that sexy, hot blonde Kayla Richards."

However, Lily wasn't sorry. "Well, James, you can always get a replacement and _also_ posing as blonde, French Kayla Richards isn't exactly my favorite thing to be. All those winks the guys were giving me were getting repulsive. Oh and," Lily paused and took the time to grimace, "Snape decided to hit on me when I came back from the facilities."

James had the dignity to look disgusted. "He can't get a girlfriend and that's because of his odd and greasy hair. That's also why we, the Marauders, call him Snivellius and Snivelly for short."

"Snivellius?" Lily scoffed. "How immature."

"Hey," James warned, "Remus made that up."

"Speaking of Remus, did you notice he didn't even recognize the telltale shape of my locks?"

"Yeah. I thought he would get it too."

"Considering he _is_ a werewolf, he could've also recognized my scent."

"You know he's a werewolf?"

"Yeah. I recognized it in my 2nd year. I can't believe it took you till third year!"

"So…do you know about the nicknames?"

"Well, I only understand Remus' but I'm working on yours and little Siri's."

-&-

There was an odd silence. Then the carriage stopped and after a moment of brief wrestling, James hopped off with a pouting Lily trailing after him.

The Great Hall was very noisy and word had spread about a blonde exchange student from Beauxbatons named Kayla Richards had arrived to be their Head Girl. Karma and Vivienne were discussing this as Remus was insisting to Sirius he wasn't his boyfriend.

"C'mon, Moony. See, you're a boy _and_ my friend. See? Boy plus friend equals boyfriend!"

"Padfoot! Be reasonable! When Prongs comes here, he'll accuse you of being gay."

"Then I'll just have to prove I'm not gay. And besides, look where Karma got with me when she accused me of it."

"That was brilliant, Padfoot! But still, that was a lot of risk."

"I like risks."

"Yes, I know that Padfoot. It's not like you said it like…SEVEN times already!" Remus exclaimed sarcastically.

"Yeah, I know right, Moony?" Sirius replied happily, unaware of the sarcasm. Remus just rolled his eyes, wrapped his arm around Vivienne's waist, and motioned for people around him to be quiet for the announcements before the Sorting.

-&-

"Now, students. Welcome to another school year. Everyone is aware of the new student arrival right?" Professor Dumbledore paused before beginning again. "She is not really Kayla Richards. She is-"

Lily interrupted. "Actually, Professor, I can introduce myself." Lily paused so others could digest the news. Then she winked at James, who discreetly smirked in response. Then Lily snapped her fingers and her redheaded "Human Christmas Tree" self came back instantly. Everyone gasped.

"I am Lily Evans, a girl you're familiar with probably." As others struggled to believe this, Snape turned red. He had hit on a Gryffindor!

After the Sorting, Lily then stood up and two other girls walked straight to her.

"Ah, Ms. Langston and Ms. White. Long time no see," Lily smirked, circling both of them coolly. Karma and Vivienne just smirked back in response.

"Yes, Ms. Evans. Long time no see," Karma's smirk was a bit bigger. Her mask of composure was slowly dissolving and Lily knew it. Vivienne endured it a bit longer and then the three girls threw themselves at each other, hugging and shedding a few tears.

"Oh my god, Lily. I missed you so much!" Vivienne exclaimed, giving Lily a kiss on the cheek. Karma mimicked the action as Lily just gave them another big hug.

Sirius and Remus just spat out their pumpkin juice. "Lily Evans! She was Kayla Richards and I didn't even notice!" Remus whacked himself on the head.

Sirius then refilled his goblet. "Lily Evans!" He then took a large sip and spat it all on Remus, who glared at him in response. The only one unfazed was James. Sirius decided to go and badger James about it.

"You knew!" Sirius looked ready to kill James already.

"How did you know I knew?" James asked in response.

"How did _I_ know that you knew that I knew that you knew that I—" Sirius paused and then looked at Remus for help. Remus just shrugged and said, "You're on your own, buddy."

Sirius swore and muttered, "So much for best mates forever." James just laughed in response. He didn't bother telling them. It was going to be a waste of time, anyway.

-&-

"Let's go and have a little chat for old times' sake," Karma said, starting to pull Lily in the direction of the Heads' Tower.

"No, not yet. I want to go to the kitchens first and pick up the firewhiskey," Lily said, smirking.

"Bring back strawberry!" Karma and Vivienne shouted as they left with their respective boyfriends. James trailed behind, walking a bit slower.

As Lily walked back, hiding her six jars of strawberry firewhiskey, she said the password to the painting (which was of a boy and girl giggling). The password for the month was "_Pumpkin Pie_".

Without glancing at the luxurious common room and everything (use your imaginations for it) else that was part of the bargain as Head Girl, she opened the door to find Vivienne and Remus snogging.

Lily dropped the jars and then screamed loudly. She ran to James' room and then James asked, "What are you doing here?"

"Vivienne and Remus. Who knew Remus Lupin was so damn aggressive?" she asked. Then she looked curiously at James' position on the floor.

"Ain't better over here, either," he said in response, pointing at Sirius and Karma on the bed. For the second time in two minutes, she screamed loudly. Karma and Sirius stopped and then she sighed in relief.

"It's time for our girl talk," Lily said simply, dragging Karma with her. The boys shrugged. Girls were _so_ hard to understand.

After Lily entered her room, she pushed Remus out of the door, looking apologetic. Then she shrugged and shut the door in his face.

-&-

Karma, Vivienne, and Lily then chatted about what happened all over the years. All was well till they reached the subject of James.

"Well, what happened? How did he know before us?" asked Karma, taking an unladylike sip of the liquor. They were slightly tipsy so they didn't know what they were saying.

"Well," Lily stumbled onto the bed and started to jump on it, "James and I had to go on a trip together. And then," she sighed dreamily (as dreamily as one can when they're drunk), "we kissed at a party. But it didn't mean anything."

"Well, did you think it meant something?" asked Vivienne, taking a small sip of the firewhiskey.

"Yes! It was better than others…" Lily's voice trailed off as she started to jump more violently, throwing pillows everywhere.

"Do you want to do it again?" asked Karma slyly, as slyly as one drunk can ask.

"Screw the platonic shit! I want to screw him!" exclaimed Lily as she landed on the large bed.

"Oh, shit! I can't believe I just _shouted_ that!" Lily exclaimed, her drunken stupor gone with only her soberness back. "Damn!"

Meanwhile next door, James was telling about his mates about the trip.

"…and then I kissed her…" James finished. The others were speechless.

"Well, let's listen and see what Lily says. The girls are _bound _to know about it," Sirius suggested.

Remus and James were ready to go along with his idea when they suddenly stopped. They stared at Sirius.

"What!" Sirius asked irritably, "Stop looking at me! I don't swing that way, Prongs, and Moony, you got your own girl."

"Did you just…give us a _sensible_ idea?" asked James, alarmed.

Sirius shrugged indifferently. "Yeah."

"Then it's sign of the Apocalypse!" exclaimed Remus.

"Look, either we go and eavesdrop on my girlfriend or you people stop making me feel bad," commanded a pretend hurt Sirius.

Remus waved his wand to the wall and they listened attentively.

"Do you want to do it again?" came a voice. Sirius grinned. It was his lovely girlfriend.

"Screw the platonic shit! I want to screw him! Oh, shit! I can't believe I just _shouted _that!" came another voice. It was Lily, they all knew.

"Reckon it was you they were talking about?" asked Sirius.

"It _has_ to be James," Remus logically said, "I mean, Karma asked if she wanted to do _some_thing again. You and her already kissed so now, logically of course, she probably wants to, as they say it, ' go and screw you'."

James was just speechless. Sirius then gave the second smartest idea he ever had.

"Let's get the girls for a game of Truth or Dare, you know, the Muggle game!" exclaimed Sirius, jumping up and down on the bed, making it squeak and groan.

Remus was stunned. He passed out for a moment. Then he said, "Great idea!"

-&-

So the boys called the girls over and they agreed, since they weren't one hundred percent sober or one hundred percent drunk. The sitting arrangement on the carpet was Sirius, Karma, Lily, Remus, Vivienne, and James.

Sirius started first, after throwing a temper tantrum "only worthy of the Black family". Lily took pity on him so he went first, sticking out his tongue at Remus (who rolled his eyes back at the said boy).

"Mm-kay, Lily. Truth or dare?" Sirius asked.

"Truth," she replied. Some part of her brain said it was too risky to do a dare so she didn't do a dare (much to everybody else's disappointment).

"Who gave you your first kiss and when was it?"

Lily blushed and glanced at everyone else, lingering on James the longest. James discreetly nodded to her.

"Okay, James gave me my first kiss when we were six and yes, it was on the lips," Lily's face was matching her hair right now. James just grinned at the burning face of Lily and then took a gulp of firewhiskey (leaving quite a stain on his shirt).

"Okay, James," Lily smirked evilly, "truth or dare?"

"Dare," James firmly said.

"I dare you to go and propose to Professor McGonagall," she said. James visibly gulped at the thought of it. "And I want Sirius to follow you to make sure you do it."

The two boys exited, leaving three slightly drunk girls and a slightly drunk Remus. The topics ranged from cheese to their favorite pair of underwear.

Sirius and James came back cracking up. "That was bloody awesome!"

"Hm, Karma. Truth or dare?" James asked, when they stopped laughing.

Karma pondered over it and said, "Dare."

"I dare you to sit in Sirius' lap and snog him for fifteen minutes without stopping." Karma did just that, without blinking an eye. Sirius just happily obliged when she gave him a look saying, "May I?"

The game went on for several rounds. After Lily did 12 truths and 7 dares; James 5 truths and 8 dares; Sirius 3 truths 6 dares; Karma 9 truths and 4 dares, Remus 14 truths and 2 dares (he chickened out); and Vivienne 5 truths and 10 dares, Lily announced it was time for them to sneak back downstairs. The four trudged down, with the boys holding their respective girlfriends.

-&-

Lily then bid him goodnight. As she walked out, James' eyes trailed to her bottom (which was covered by one of his old T-shirts, to his disappointment).

James didn't sleep much. He was thinking about how Lily moved during the karate challenge he had challenged her to. He couldn't forget the way her legs moved with agility… his eyes closed at the vivid image.

-&-

Then there were steps approaching the bed. Something tapped his arm.

"James?" whispered Lily. James opened his eyes and then put on his glasses.

"Yeah?"

"I can't sleep."

James inwardly smiled. Lily not able to sleep was a regular occurrence. She usually went to James' bed. As he parted the blankets, he saw Lily looking vulnerable with her teddy bear (which she preferred to call a "tatty bear") wearing a large T-shirt and shorts.

His strong arms wrapped around Lily's waist, making her body muscles relax as he placed platonic kisses on her forehead. In a childish voice, Lily asked, "Will you make sure Beary (her teddy bear) doesn't fall off?"

James smiled inwardly again. These times together at night turned Lily into a little girl again, asking to be held. "Okay," he whispered. Then he kissed her forehead one more time, before he saw Lily's eyes finally close.

-&-

**A/N-Read and review. I hope you liked this chapter.**


	6. Get Out Of MY Way!

Love Me For Who I Am By-x. by yours truly 

Chapter 6 – Get Out Of MY Way!

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**Disclaimer-All this belongs to me…but there's one problem: I'm not J.K. Rowling so the only things you don't recognize are mine. And also, if I had owned Harry Potter and everything with that, Harry and Hermione would've gotten together, Draco and Ginny, Luna and Ron, Neville and Padma, Blaise and Pansy, Fred and Angelina, George and Alicia, Katie and Oliver, and James and Lily never would've died. Also, there would be no evil little rat named Pettigrew. (And no Tom Riddle, either.) **

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**Thank you to futurePOTUS, Alaskan Chick, grannyHPfan, lily pardo and Carmel March for reviewing. I really appreciate it. Since you're all so nice, I'll just post _one_ more chapter before leaving for Tennessee. And don't worry, I'll be back in four days.**

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List of Main Characters (6)

Lily Evans- 17 years old, went to Beauxbatons from 3rd to 6th year, very smart, hates James Potter because he asked her out in 3rd year and she agreed but that date was because of a bet, former friend of James, talented at ballroom dance and modern dance, karate champion, red hair, green eyes, 5' 7", sister is Squib who married Vernon Dursley (another Squib), parents are powerful members of Ministry, sassy, hot (all the boys describe her as that anyway), was Chaser for Beauxbatons and probably will be for Quidditch, an Animagus (doe), acts civil to James till he pushes her buttons, Head Girl, pureblood

James Potter- 17 years old, very smart, hates Lily Evans because she won't forgive him for that bet, former friend of Lily, talented at ballroom and modern dance (wonderful dance partner to Lily), karate champ, jet-black hair, hazel eyes, only child, parents are friends with Lily's parents, hot (girls describe him like that anyway), is Seeker at Hogwarts and captain for Gryffindor Quidditch team, an Animagus (stag), Head Boy, acts civilly till he annoys Lily to a certain point, pureblood, Lily & James left on relatively friendly terms if you call ignoring each other friendly…

Karma White- 16 years old, best friend of Lily but hasn't seen her for 4 years, strawberry blonde hair that goes to her back, clear blue eyes, dating Sirius Black, 5' 5", Keeper for Gryffindor team, half-blood

Sirius Black- 17 years old, best friend of James but hasn't seen Lily for 4 years like the others, Animagus (black doggie), jet-black hair, chocolate brown eyes, dating the love of his life Karma White, Beater for Gryffindor team. 6' 1", pureblood

Vivienne Langston- 16 years old, best friend of Lily, hasn't seen her for 4 years, werewolf, dark brown hair that goes to middle of back, amethyst purple eyes, 5' 5", Chaser for Gryffindor team, dating Remus Lupin since 6th year's beginning, pureblood

Remus Lupin- 17 years old, best friend of James but hasn't seen Lily for 4 years, werewolf, sandy-colored hair, blue eyes, 6' 3", dating Vivienne Langston since beginning of 6th year's beginning, Chaser for Gryffindor team, half-blood

-&-

When Lily and James woke up, they blushed at their position. Lily's head was resting on his chest and had been playing with the skin on his stomach as she slept. One of James' hands had landed on her bottom. There was an awkward silence. They quickly broke apart as James dove for his closet and Lily to the bathroom.

As Lily showered, James pondered about his feelings about Lily. Before, his feelings had been purely black and white- platonically friends. Now it was all gray. And the way Lily acted last night like a little girl, James smiled. Lily didn't show that side to anybody except James because he was the only one who could bring it out.

Then Lily came out, only clad in a fluffy blue towel. She took one look at James, who was staring at her attire, and ran quickly into her room to change. Lily was embarrassed. The look James gave her made her feel…naked. Lily didn't like that feeling at all.

-&-

At breakfast, the pair didn't look at each other, nor did they talk to one another. The only thing uttered to one another had been a "Here's your timetable."

Sirius, Karma, Vivienne, Remus, and a few other neighboring students had noticed this. Sirius and Remus just waved it off but girls being girls, intended to worm it out of Lily.

As they walked to Potions with the Ravenclaws, the four made sure it was only possible for James and Lily to sit together. Lily sighed when she saw that and just sat next to James, trying not to look at him.

It certainly wasn't helping James to not look at Lily, considering Professor Slughorn actually kept on complimenting her on her skills and asking why she wasn't in Slytherin.

-&-

At lunch, Lily chose to sit with her friends, including James. Then as she compared her schedule to everybody else's, she realized they were exactly the same. She asked why.

"Well," Sirius smiled broadly, "Prongs told me the classes he chose and I decided to copy him. Then since I was going to fail, Moony joined and then I got Karma and Vivienne to join our same classes also. But _damn_, Prongs! You didn't have to choose so many nor so _advanced_ classes. But he didn't tell me how he chose the classes."

"Um," James looked up from his chicken, "well, Lily, remember that time you wouldn't speak to me during the time at the hotel?" Lily gulped and just nodded. James gave her a look, telling her there was nothing to be guilty or nervous about.

"Anyway," he continued, "Lily dropped off the list of stuff she wanted to take and we always take the same classes. So I copied them and sent them to you, Sirius." Then he started prodding his chicken again.

After lunch, they had classes. Lily managed to get on the good side of all the teachers, though James had to help her in Transfiguration. By now, they had stopped being awkward around each other.

-&-

Meanwhile, a trio called the Barbie Dolls watched Lily. The Barbie Dolls consisted of three ditzy blondes. They had wanted the Marauders but seeing James was the only single one left, they had started to try and bed James.

Lily didn't like them. They had criticized her looks when she had been in second year and they called her "Carrot Top", because of her hair.

The blondes were named Sarah Guffawz, Karman Chinkers, and Madeleine Writh. All they did was play hard-to-get, though they were false "hard-to-gets". They slept around and didn't even _try_ to do work.

After dinner and a conversation involving Lily's experience of getting a name known around the school (the Untouchable) because she refused every date and Sirius flinging mashed potatoes at James, the Barbie Dolls then cornered Lily in the Gryffindor common room.

"Like, oh my god, before you were not but now you're hot!" exclaimed Madeleine, who was a dense one (quite sad, in Lily's opinion).

"Get to the point, Writh, and cut the crappy sweetness," Lily said, in a clipped voice. The common room grew silent; the center of attention was all on Lily and the Barbie Dolls. That was because nobody ever won a fight with the Barbie Dolls because they usually got a professor to defend them (and the ones that bothered to fight with her weren't exactly geniuses in the classes of the teachers).

"Fine," Karman spoke up, "we want to know if you want to join our group of the female hotties at Hogwarts."

"No, thanks," Lily said, as James gave her a thumbs up and approached the four (which three were glaring at one and the one glaring back).

James draped an arm around her shoulders, making all three (especially Sarah) swoon at his mere presence. The trio found an unnecessary need to go and make fun of Lily, forgetting James just _happened_ to be best friends with Lily (word had spread they were friends again).

"Well," Sarah sneered (which wasn't becoming and Lily relayed that thought to James as he silently snickered), "I guess you're not _that_ hot or rich as us."

"What do you mean?" Lily had stiffened her whole body, taking offense to that remark. She had a lot more money than them three combined, but she wasn't one to flaunt her wealth around.

"I mean, look at your clothes. They were _so_ last year!" Madeleine said, with pretend nonchalance and not noticing James trying not to lose _his_ temper.

"Which ones? You mean these?" Lily snapped her fingers and a pile of designers' clothes hurtled at Lily as James caught the pile. Lily gave him a grateful smile and then she held them out by their hangers.

"Oh my god! Those were in the advertisements and didn't even go into stores yet!" they squealed.

Lily took the rest of the pile and whisked them back to where she had _Accio'_ed them.

"Now," she calmly said, "I see the pieces of cloth you wear you call clothing does not measure the ones I get from my agent."

"What agent?" the trio asked indignantly, remembering they still hated each other.

"My singing/dancing one," Lily calmly replied, "Got a problem with it?"

"I believe I'm the partner with that same particular agent," James smirked, grinning at Lily before giving his coldest look to Sarah, Karman, and Madeleine. The trio left, embarrassed.

-&-

"That was brilliant!" James exclaimed. "Let's go celebrate by going to get a snack in the kitchens!"

"How is that supposed to be a celebration?" asked Lily, raising an eyebrow.

"Lily, nobody, unless really experienced, actually disses those bitches the first time seeing them after a few years," James explained, picking Lily up and carrying her out of the common room (causing many amused onlookers to snicker at little Lily being draped carelessly over James' shoulder).

-&-

"Put me down!" Lily said, starting to give him a noogie, which was very painful. James did and then the last person they expected to see came out, who was Snape.

"Well, well. If it isn't Evans and her lovely boyfriend, Potter," Snape said, snottily.

"What now, Snape? Still angry I beat you in Potions?" asked Lily calmly.

"Of course. _I_ deserved that grade. You were always going off somewhere and you didn't even do any of the potions perfectly," he seethed.

"Really, Snape. You _know_ I did them correctly, considering we were _next_ to each other," Lily said, trying to not give him a very profane speech about the git he was.

"Really, Snivelly, I expected better of you. I thought you were more mature now," James said, hand on his wand (which was in his pocket).

Then Snape's companions (which included Rodolphus Lestrange, Bellatrix Black, and Lucius Malfoy) came into view.

Lily smirked. "Nice pick-up line back on the Hogwarts Express," she called out to Snape. James, next to her, sniggered.

Snape blushed. "I wouldn't try anything, since you're outnumbered," Malfoy warned.

"Malfoy, you're looking at two highly dangerous people here, without the fact that we're the top of the Defense Against Dark Arts classes," Lily stated, as James put his arm around her waist.

"I still wouldn't try anything," Bellatrix sneered.

"And let me guess, you should, dear cousin?" asked a voice coming out of the shadows. It was Sirius with Narcissa and Regulus, who was slightly out of breath. Behind them three were Remus (in his prefect glory), Vivienne, and Karma, looking angry. It was apparent the other four had made their plans known to hex James and Lily when they had bumped into them on their way to the kitchens. Narcissa and Regulus had told Sirius and the other three, so they wouldn't get hurt and there would at least be three witnesses, the most reasonable amount (in Dumbledore's opinion).

"I suggest you should go now, you four," Sirius said, taking out his wand, "since _you_ are outnumbered."

"Let's go," Snape said, turning to leave, "but we aren't going to let you go next time!"

"Oh, don't worry about them," Narcissa said, smiling, "Severus always makes empty threats."

"Well, 5 points off of Slytherin each for them because of being out after curfew and attempting to attack a fellow student," Lily stated, "but," she continued, "15 points each to Slytherin for you two helping to avoid a fight."

"Thanks, Cissa and Reggie," Sirius said smiling, "I couldn't have done it without your help."

"No problem," said a younger version of Sirius, giving a broad grin, "as long as I get to keep on seeing Dorothy Nott like you _promised_."

"Alright," Sirius sighed. Lily remembered Karma sending her letters about the fight about Sirius not allowing his younger brother to date Dorothy.

Narcissa smiled at Regulus. "Let's go back to our dorms and don't let Bella get to you, alright?"

Then she bid goodnight to the six and led Regulus in the general direction of the Slytherin common room.

-&-

Lily turned to James. "Why don't we get a rain check on the kitchen trip? It's a little too late."

James agreed, since it was nearing eleven and curfew had been at 9:00.

Soon they were back in their luxurious Heads' Tower. Lily sighed. James looked questionably at her.

"I'm fine."

"Lily, I haven't known you for many years for nothing."

"Maybe one's very confused and wants to be left alone."

"Maybe that one's emotions can be explained by another one."

"Then wouldn't that make two confused ones than one?"

"Maybe it'll be two that aren't confused after."

"It's a 45-55 possibility, I suppose."

"And the 45 being?"

"The 'being sure of.'"

"So it's a larger proportion of being confused?"

"Of course it is, m'dear."

"How are you so certain?"

"I just _know_."

"You're starting to sound like the Ravenclaws I dated, Lily."

"Why do you think Flitwick asks me that so many times?"

"Oh (James grins sheepishly) yeah."

"Hmph. Boys and men just think they know everything when they don't. _And_ they're the ones in charge. What an added bonus," Lily muttered.

"_Men_ are very intelligent creatures."

"They wouldn't exist if it weren't for us females, who are _more _intelligent, since our genes passed over to you males."

"But us males are the ones who put the females to their proper place."

"You're saying housewives are properly placed?"

"No, I didn't say that. By the way, I prefer house elves."

"House elves shouldn't be enslaved though!"

"Why do you think they're named _house_ elves? And the fact they're _eager_ to do work?"

"Not Kreacher though."

"He's different."

"And how?"

"I don't know. I'm tired."

"So am I. I'm going to bed."

"G'night."

-&-

The next day James woke up to loud music in the extra empty room somewhere next to the bathroom. It was then evident to him Lily was stretching since the song blaring was something about independence. James inwardly smiled, since Lily was very firm on independence.

_Miss independent  
Miss self-sufficient  
Miss keep your distance, mmmm_

_Miss unafraid  
Miss out of my way  
Miss don't let a man interfere, no_

_So, by keeping her heart protected  
She'll never, ever feel rejected   
Little Miss Apprehensive  
Said ooh, she fell in love _

He went into the room after doing whatever men do in the mornings in the bathroom to find Lily out of breath as she conjured up gymnastic mats to practice flips on. She then let the music consume her. She was so into the music she didn't notice James had walked, raking his eyes over her body's movement.

_What is this feeling taking over?  
Thinking no one could open the door  
Surprise, it's time, to feel what's real  
What happened to miss independent's no longer need to be defensive?  
Goodbye, old you, when love, is true _

_So, by changing a misconception  
She went in a new direction  
And found inside, she felt a connection  
She fell in love_

Then, she started to do flips, over and over.

_It took some time for her to see  
How beautiful love could truly be  
No more talk of why can't that be me  
I'm so glad I've finally seen_

Lily then nodded at James. He, in response, let the song finish and then proceeded to put on a song suitable for the waltz.

_What is this feeling taking over?  
Thinking no one could open the door   
Surprise, it's time, to feel what's real  
What happened to miss independent's no longer need to be defensive?  
Goodbye, old you, when love, is true (when love, is true)_

Not a word was uttered between the same as they danced. It didn't seem that Lily was in her sweats and James was in his pajamas. It was now them in a ballroom, not an empty large room with a boom box as a source of music.

-&-

At breakfast, Sirius amused everyone by making a river of maple syrup around his pancakes as a "moat".

"How do you deal with this little bugger?" asked Lily, frustrated, to Karma as they watched Sirius flinging little balls of bread at neighboring students, which he said were "enemies" of his "Pancake Castle".

"You just have to bribe him with candy," Karma replied, before waving a chocolate bar in Sirius' face.

"Oi, Sirius! Do you want this chocolate?" asked Karma, sweetly.

"Yeah!" said Sirius, starting to jump up and down.

"Stop throwing food at the other kids, alright?"

"Aw," Sirius pouted.

"There's enough time to go for a broom closet also…" Karma trailed off, since Sirius had already started to drag her out.

Lily shook her head. James, who had been watching, just grinned.

"What's so great about Sirius acting like a three year old?" asked Lily curiously.

"It's just…Sirius hasn't been this wired over a girl. _Ever_," James added.

"This is the most responsive Karma has been to any boy," Lily agreed.

"They're really just into the physical aspects of relationships. But when you put two really physical people together, you can actually say they're meant to be," James observed.

"And you see Remus and Vivienne. They're not really physical in public but they're more into the 'emotional' part. Like the discussions they're having right now about which one is better- the _Iliad _or the _Aeneid_." Lily observed the couple as they speared sausages.

"Concurred."

Then the students left to begin their third day of Hogwarts.

-&-

**A/N- I just wanted to show this chapter of the two fights because I'm portraying Lily as a very strong person, mental-wise. Of course, there might be a possibility I might put Lily mentally unstable later...and the song isn't mine. As usual.**

**Just read and review! And don't forget, I'm going to Tennessee for four days and coming back on Sunday, starting on Thursday! **


	7. Boyfriends and Girlfriends

_Love Me For Who I Am By-x. by yours truly _

Chapter 7– Boyfriends and Girlfriends

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**Disclaimer-All this belongs to me…but there's one problem: I'm not J.K. Rowling so the only things you don't recognize are mine. And also, if I had owned Harry Potter and everything with that, Harry and Hermione would've gotten together, Draco and Ginny, Luna and Ron, Neville and Padma, Blaise and Pansy, Fred and Angelina, George and Alicia, Katie and Oliver, and James and Lily never would've died. Also, there would be no evil little rat named Pettigrew. (And no Tom Riddle, either.)**

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**Thank you to Carmel March, grannyHPfan, lily pardo, cheerleader101, xDarkHorsex, Drunk Cow, and sophiawin for reviewing the story!**

**I have nothing against any race, skin color, hair color, or any other offending thing. I have nothing against blondes or cheerleaders either. **

**Sorry for not updating sooner! Also, I have this idea to make Lily and James (my favorite pairing) detectives in a murder mystery. I watched a Chinese one and I'm wired with that idea. **

**The tour was fun, if you like to walk 5 miles a day and go cave hunting. I went through 7 states but I forgot them… let's see…. And the Dixie Stampede was great! I got to eat with my fingers! **

-&-

List of Main Characters (6)

Lily Evans- 17 years old, went to Beauxbatons from 3rd to 6th year, very smart, hates James Potter because he asked her out in 3rd year and she agreed but that date was because of a bet, former friend of James, talented at ballroom dance and modern dance, karate champion, red hair, green eyes, 5' 7", sister is Squib who married Vernon Dursley (another Squib), parents are powerful members of Ministry, sassy, hot (all the boys describe her as that anyway), was Chaser for Beauxbatons and probably will be for Quidditch, an Animagus (doe), acts civil to James till he pushes her buttons, Head Girl, pureblood

James Potter- 17 years old, very smart, hates Lily Evans because she won't forgive him for that bet, former friend of Lily, talented at ballroom and modern dance (wonderful dance partner to Lily), karate champ, jet-black hair, hazel eyes, only child, parents are friends with Lily's parents, hot (girls describe him like that anyway), is Seeker at Hogwarts and captain for Gryffindor Quidditch team, an Animagus (stag), Head Boy, acts civilly till he annoys Lily to a certain point, pureblood, Lily & James left on relatively friendly terms if you call ignoring each other friendly…

Karma White- 16 years old, best friend of Lily but hasn't seen her for 4 years, strawberry blonde hair that goes to her back, clear blue eyes, dating Sirius Black, 5' 5", Keeper for Gryffindor team, half-blood

Sirius Black- 17 years old, best friend of James but hasn't seen Lily for 4 years like the others, Animagus (black doggie), jet-black hair, chocolate brown eyes, dating the love of his life Karma White, Beater for Gryffindor team. 6' 1", pureblood

Vivienne Langston- 16 years old, best friend of Lily, hasn't seen her for 4 years, werewolf, dark brown hair that goes to middle of back, amethyst purple eyes, 5' 5", Chaser for Gryffindor team, dating Remus Lupin since 6th year's beginning, pureblood

Remus Lupin- 17 years old, best friend of James but hasn't seen Lily for 4 years, werewolf, sandy-colored hair, blue eyes, 6' 3", dating Vivienne Langston since beginning of 6th year's beginning, Chaser for Gryffindor team, half-blood

-&-

Lily was then painting her nails in the common room in the dorm the Heads shared. James came in and stared at her.

"What are you doing?"

"Painting my nails. Some people said the boys who ask me out just want to bed me. I said I knew that and they said I don't have enough self-esteem and don't look good enough. That's why I'm going to prove them wrong!" Lily said, strangling a bottle of nail polish as she admired the pointer finger she just finished painting.

"But don't you _always_ prove them wrong?" asked James, wondering why she was doing this.

"Yes, that's why I'm doing it again," Lily declared, with a childish voice.

"Um, since I'm bored, let's see if you need help," James said, sitting next to her.

"Did you lose your mind?" asked Lily, "You don't normally do this 'girly'" –Lily put up air quotes – "stuff with me."

James took off his white shirt with the Hogwarts crest on it. Underneath that shirt had been a T-shirt saying, "No, I didn't lose my mind, I sold it on E-bay!"

"Never mind then."

"You could help me paint it, I guess. I'm not _that_ good at it," Lily said, trying not to make her wet long fingernails collide with her other wet fingernails.

"What colors are you using?" James asked, as he stared at her hands, marveling at the contrast between his tanned skin and her pale very lightly tanned skin.

"Red and gold."

"A true Gryffindor girl. I like it," James said.

-&-

As James settled comfortably to start to paint her nails, he noticed a bunch of paper on Lily's desk.

"What are those?"

"Oh um," Lily shifted uncomfortably, "it's just some tests I have to grade since I volunteered to help Slughorn, McGonagall, and Flitwick."

"_That_ much!" James exclaimed, "Anymore working like this, and you'll be like when you decided to be at the top of class in 3rd year!"

"Well, the teachers needed help…"

"And you just _had_ to say yes again, didn't you?"

"Yeah but…"

"Later, you're going to be worn out," James admonished her, "and relax a little. It's our last year at Hogwarts!"

"But, it's extra credit."

-&-

James just grumbled and continued to make zigzags of gold nail polish across the red background. Lily stared at James' face, taking in his face of deep concentration. Once again, she found her mind arguing with her heart. (Italics are the mind, regular is the heart.)

_C'mon, he's your best friend. You shouldn't fall in love with him again!_

What if he felt the same as you did?

_If you ever told him you liked him, and it doesn't work out, your friendship would be nonexistent or awkward! You don't want that!_

No, but you want kisses, hugs, and the warm feeling about being loved.

_No, you don't! You're independent! You don't need a man, to quote the Pussycat Dolls._

You want mushy little romantic things because you know secretly (though he wouldn't admit it) he's hopelessly a romantic, like you are.

_No, you are _not_ a hopeless romantic! You just love those stories because you like to envision your friends in some of the situations._

Yes, you do!

_No, you don't!_

Yes, you do!

_No, you don't!_

Yes, you do!

_No, you don't!_

No, you don't!

_Yes, you do!_

Do you realize what you just said?

_It's not fair, you tricked me into it!_

It got you to say the truth.

_Still, I was supposed to say, 'No you don't!' and you were supposed to say, 'Yes, you do!' You ruined the order and our way of life!_

Way of life? Don't worry; admitting your problem is the first step.

_Gr… _

-&-

James looked up. Lily had an adorable expression on her face, like she was trying to decide on something. Then she snapped out of it.

Lily noticed James finished painting her nails. "Thanks," she said.

"You're welcome."

Lily leaned over to give him a kiss on the cheek but unfortunately, James had turned a little and they ended up kissing at the lips. They broke apart quickly and Lily immediately uttered a "Sorry" and James had almost immediately said, "It's okay."

To attempt to ease the awkward silence that had been going on for about ten minutes, Lily walked over to her desk and started to grade the papers. James sat next to her and started to help her. Lily just looked at him questionably before continuing.

As they worked, they talked about Sirius and Karma's relationship. They both agreed they definitely were the real thing and were just too physical at times. ("At times! You mean all the time!" Lily exclaimed.)

-&-

Then it was dinnertime. They went to the Great Hall, where something unexpected happened.

"How _you_ doin'?" asked a burly seventh year to Lily, as she started to get mashed potatoes.

Lily raised an eyebrow as recognition struck. It was one of the 'hunks' of Hogwarts named Gregory Brite.

_That don't impress me much  
So you got the looks but have you got the touch  
Don't get me wrong, yeah I think you're alright  
But that won't keep me warm in the middle of the night  
That don't impress me much!_

"Brite, it sounded better on _Friends_," she then skipped onto the next guy, a Mike Murphy.

"Dude, you gotta have some class," James said to Brite before he tapped a girl, Carrie Cole, and politely asked her (7th year Hufflepuff) to go out with him. Carrie had given him an excited yes.

Mike then nervously asked, "Would you go out with me?"

To everyone's surprise, Lily said a simple yet bored, "Yes."

Then Mike gave her a kiss on the cheek and left. Lily continued to eat her mashed potatoes and gravy as she pondered on why on earth she had said yes to that Mike Murphy. He _was_ a nice, handsome guy. And he was a bit of a 'gentleman' more than others.

-&-

Vivienne and Karma then dragged Lily into the Head Girl's bedroom and they then had typical "girls' night".

"What was that for?" asked Karma, as she popped a grape into her mouth.

"What?" Lily asked back, as she played with the liberal amounts of cookie dough they had acquired, courtesy to the Marauders next door.

"The agreeing to that Mike Murphy!" Vivienne answered for Karma.

"Well, he asked nicely," Lily said, in an offhand manner, not revealing her real reason. The truth was, she had finally admitted to herself she was in love with James. Again. Just like in 3rd year, except this wasn't a little crush.

"Well, you should've seen James. I thought he was going to ask _you_ out when he said Brite needed a little more class," Karma stated, munching "like a lady" on some jellybeans.

-&-

Lily blushed and her three friends caught it.

"Ooh, have you been perving on James?" asked Karma, smirking.

"No," the blush still hadn't gone. In fact, it was even darker than her hair!

"Oh, _really_?" asked Karma, still smirking.

"NO! Of course not! He's my best guy mate!" Lily exclaimed, still blushing a little.

"Don't bother her about it, Karma…" Vivienne said, as she took a swig from the butterbeer.

"_Thank_ you, Viv," Lily was about to say something else when Vivienne finished saying what she had been saying.

"…Lily can perv on James if she wants to," Vivienne finished, smirking also.

"Vivienne! I can't believe you! I do not perv on James!" Lily exclaimed.

-&-

Meanwhile in the Head Boy's bedroom…

The boys were eavesdropping on the girls' gossiping, again.

"…Ooh, have you been perving on James?"

This caused a skeptical look onto James' face. Then he looked horrified as the other guys laughed. There were three boys in the room- James Potter, Sirius Black, and Remus Lupin.

They listened on, as Sirius cracked up more at the thought of Lily daydreaming of James. James just glared at his best friend.

"No," which the boys had recognized as Lily's voice.

"Oh, _really_?" Sirius grinned dreamily as he heard Karma's voice.

"NO! Of course not! He's my best guy mate!"

The boys definitely heard the denial (except James, but he's thick when love's the subject). "Denial isn't just a river," Remus mused, as he drank a little butterbeer.

"Got that right," Sirius answered, though he didn't know what it meant.

"Don't bother her about it, Karma…"

Remus grinned stupidly as Vivienne said something. He knew there was another part to what she was going to say.

"_Thank _you, Viv."

James said, "See? She isn't crushing on me!" The boys shook their heads.

"…Lily can perv on James if she wants to."

Remus and Sirius high-fived each other because they were sure Lily was blushing. They looked at James for his reaction. He was just… out of it. Then he just started munching on some chocolate chip cookies.

"Vivienne! I can't believe you! I do not perv on James!"

James recognized it as Lily's voice and cracked up. It must have been a funny sight of Lily blushing red as a tomato and three friends smirking knowingly.

-&-

As he thought back to Carrie and Mike, though, he faltered. He didn't know how he felt with his best girl mate dating someone else, especially since he had started having unwanted thoughts about Lily.

What was he feeling?

**A/N- Lol. Sorry for not updating earlier again. Read and review!**


	8. When You're Lily & Have a Crush, You

Love Me For Who I Am By-x. by yours truly 

Chapter 8– When You're Lily Evans and Have a Crush, You

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**Disclaimer-All this belongs to me…but there's one problem: I'm not J.K. Rowling so the only things you don't recognize are mine. And also, if I had owned Harry Potter and everything with that, Harry and Hermione would've gotten together, Draco and Ginny, Luna and Ron, Neville and Padma, Blaise and Pansy, Fred and Angelina, George and Alicia, Katie and Oliver, and James and Lily never would've died. Also, there would be no evil little rat named Pettigrew. (And no Tom Riddle, either.)**

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**Thank you to Drunk Cow, grannyHPfan, fangtsunami92¸ volleyballlizzie, and yourheartsdesire for reviewing! I hope you enjoy this chapter also! **

-&-

List of Main Characters (6)

Lily Evans- 17 years old, went to Beauxbatons from 3rd to 6th year, very smart, hates James Potter because he asked her out in 3rd year and she agreed but that date was because of a bet, former friend of James, talented at ballroom dance and modern dance, karate champion, red hair, green eyes, 5' 7", sister is Squib who married Vernon Dursley (another Squib), parents are powerful members of Ministry, sassy, hot (all the boys describe her as that anyway), was Chaser for Beauxbatons and probably will be for Quidditch, an Animagus (doe), acts civil to James till he pushes her buttons, Head Girl, pureblood

James Potter- 17 years old, very smart, hates Lily Evans because she won't forgive him for that bet, former friend of Lily, talented at ballroom and modern dance (wonderful dance partner to Lily), karate champ, jet-black hair, hazel eyes, only child, parents are friends with Lily's parents, hot (girls describe him like that anyway), is Seeker at Hogwarts and captain for Gryffindor Quidditch team, an Animagus (stag), Head Boy, acts civilly till he annoys Lily to a certain point, pureblood, Lily & James left on relatively friendly terms if you call ignoring each other friendly…

Karma White- 16 years old, best friend of Lily but hasn't seen her for 4 years, strawberry blonde hair that goes to her back, clear blue eyes, dating Sirius Black, 5' 5", Keeper for Gryffindor team, half-blood

Sirius Black- 17 years old, best friend of James but hasn't seen Lily for 4 years like the others, Animagus (black doggie), jet-black hair, chocolate brown eyes, dating the love of his life Karma White, Beater for Gryffindor team. 6' 1", pureblood

Vivienne Langston- 16 years old, best friend of Lily, hasn't seen her for 4 years, werewolf, dark brown hair that goes to middle of back, amethyst purple eyes, 5' 5", Chaser for Gryffindor team, dating Remus Lupin since 6th year's beginning, pureblood

Remus Lupin- 17 years old, best friend of James but hasn't seen Lily for 4 years, werewolf, sandy-colored hair, blue eyes, 6' 3", dating Vivienne Langston since beginning of 6th year's beginning, Chaser for Gryffindor team, half-blood

-&-

A few days later, Lily and James were studying in the library. Well, Lily was studying and James was whining. James had already finished his work. He observed Lily grading papers for McGonagall ("James! It's extra credit!").

Then Lily stretched, with her shirt hiking up. It revealed a good amount of her flat stomach. James started staring at the skin Lily revealed as she tried to get rid of the kinks in her shoulders.

Then James snapped out of his trance. He got many images of him snogging Lily senseless and proceeded to welcome them again. He'd figured out he had a crush on his best friend and didn't bother fighting it. He knew it was going to be futile because Lily was irresistible (in his opinion, at least).

It was the most logical thing he'd ever come up with.

-&-

Lily then shuffled the papers up and resumed her grading. James watched her more. In these few days, Lily had turned from exciting, loud, spontaneous, daring, sassy, feisty, flirty, and unpredictable to 'boring' (just a little bit), quiet, reserved, shy, pushover, and workaholic-ish.

James wondered what Lily was hiding. She never brought up the kisses they had shared so naturally James hadn't either. He just went on with life as it had been before they'd been, er, kissing (accidentally of course).

James knew Lily was going to slowly overexert her energy into work and become a zombie-like person.

Finally Lily was finished with the paperwork. By now, they had moved from the library since Madam Pince didn't appreciate students staying that late in her 'precious library'.

-&-

Lily was then found reading on her bed under a large quilt Mrs. Potter had given her for Christmas.

"It's time for dinner," James announced.

"So?"

"It means you come out from the blanket and come with me to the Great Hall for supper."

"I _know_ what it means, Jamie."

"How come you aren't coming then?"

"Because I am cold and I will not move!" Lily shivered. In her opinion, it was _always_ too cold, even in the warmest of places.

James grinned to himself. One of Lily's 'cute quirks' was she was always freezing to death. He took one of his sweaters and draped it over Lily's shoulders. Lily looked at him gratefully.

"Now we can go," Lily playfully pushed James out of her room.

-&-

They met up with their respective boyfriend and girlfriend. The four ate together, planning a double date (if they ever even got the chance.)

Carrie and Eddie were amazed by how Lily planned the date so easily. They asked her secret but all she would do was wink and say, "Some call it magic. It's almost like the other part of me."

_Some call it magic  
The things I see  
And I don't understand it  
Why it happens to me  
Some call it magic  
And I don't know how  
But I know that I have it  
And it all works out_

"So we'll go meet at Three Broomsticks, right?" asked James, playing with his mashed potatoes.

"Yes, and because of a _certain_ person's insistence Madame Puddifoot's was too girly, we had to change it," Lily mock glared at Mike, who pretended to have nothing to do with it.

Mike put his arm around Lily's waist. Lily shrugged it off, though Mike didn't notice. Lily had thought Mike's arm was 'not right' around her waist. After all, that was where James held her when she couldn't sleep. It wouldn't work with two guys holding her there, right?

Mike and Lily then kissed each other good-bye. Lily didn't like him much since he seemed more like a brother than her kind of boyfriend material. But, she didn't say anything.

If she ever told any of the other three girls, she knew what they'd say. They'd squeal, "Ooh, is _James_ your boyfriend type of material?"

-&-

Lily tumbled into the Heads' Common Room when she was mentally scarred for life.

James and Carrie were snogging. Quite viciously. Lily screamed.

They stopped and then Carrie mumbled a friendly, "Sorry" and left James to deal with the disgusted (and oddly fascinated) Lily.

"Why on earth were you doing that in here?" exclaimed Lily. "And how did you guys breathe?"

"Well, you know, the boys' dorms are always full of activity. The common room of Gryffindor is too crowded. And at that time, it seemed like the ideal place to snog."

"You just disgusted me! I will never look at you the same way ever again!" Lily pretended to be _really_ angry and started to walk off to her room.

"Then, I'm sorry, Lily. I didn't mean for your immature little brain to go and witness something so _disgusting_ and _gory_. Next time, shield your eyes!" James said sarcastically and walked to Lily's room and looked in. She was still pretty riled up and started to give him a lecture.

All James could hear was a muffled, "My brain is not little!"

"The Heads' Common Room is a holy place for studying, not for relieving unused energy!" Lily screamed. She also started on a myriad of topics concerning that certain subject until James stopped her. Effectively.

-&-

"You know, there's a party going on in the Room of Requirement," James said, "and I planned it. I'm the DJ."

"What songs?"

"_Good_ songs."

"James, sweetie, we both know now that I have better taste in songs than you do," Lily said sweetly.

"Gee, how modest you are," James said sarcastically.

"You betcha."

"So…"

"What songs?"

"I don't know."

"Doesn't seem to be a good song, Jamie," Lily said.

"I know."

"Any ideas, maybe?"

"I was thinking 1, 2 Step by Ciara, Pon De Replay by Rihanna, and Family Affair by Mary J. Blige."

"Too less."

"Well, missy, do you have any ideas?"

Lily wrinkled her nose. "Don't call me missy."

"Then don't go making me feel bad about my choices of music."

"What!" Lily looked horrified. "That's my job! It's what the female best friend of a guy does!"

"We're getting off the topic."

"Gee, I never knew that," Lily retorted sarcastically.

"Any ideas?"

"Wait, who's going to the party?"

"A few Hufflepuffs, a couple of Ravenclaws, Narcissa, Regulus, and all the Gryffindors-if you go, of course."

"Then I'll go."

"It starts at 10. Right now it's 9:30. Hurry up!" With that, James left her room and Lily was left to find her best party outfits and choose from there.

-&-

_Now what would dancing/singing extraordinaire and heir to the Evans family fortune wear to a school party that Dumbledore approved of (but McGonagall doesn't know of)?_ Lily thought to herself, as she walked into her large closet and stared rows and rows of environment-friendly clothes.

She walked by a short, black skirt and a cute white tank top (which said, "I'm a Gryffindor girl through and through). She also spotted her Nike sneakers. She grinned. Operation Party-Dressing had officially begun.

After about twenty minutes, Lily looked at her choice of attire. She was wearing that white tank top and black skirt. She was also wearing her silver/gray sneakers. The only makeup she bothered with was a little faint silver eye shadow and some strawberry-flavored lip-gloss. She strolled out her closet and James just gaped.

"Cat got your tongue?" Lily asked, on the verge of laughing, since James was moving his mouth though no words were coming out.

James shook himself out of it and said, "I have to go to the RoR for all the necessary stuff, 'cause I'm the DJ."

"Got any good music then?"

"So far I added Graduation by Vitamin C, Goodies by Ciara, and Let's Get It Started by the Black-Eyed Peas. Don't worry, I have a few other surprises," with that, James winked and left.

-&-

Lily was left with five minutes after she hurried to her friends' dorms where Karma was still not dressed. She was only in her top (which said, "I am _so_ not amused") and was whining about whether it should be a pair of pants or a skirt. Of course, Vivienne was too inexperienced to handle a crisis going through of Karma's. Luckily, Lily arrived and quickly surveyed the damage.

_I'd say on a scale from 1-10, she'd be at least a 9.9_, Lily figured. Since her shirt was purple, that helped Lily into choosing something for Karma to wear. As Lily whispered to Vivienne, Lily quickly scanned Karma's wardrobe (which was large). She whispered to her she should get out all the chic jean skirts and jeans. She nodded and quickly got them.

Karma was still going crazy. Lily carefully passed her a pair of sparkly purple jeans. The girls waited a critical moment before Karma squealed, "It's PERFECT!"

-&-

The girls then rushed down the girls' dorm and went straight to the Room of Requirement. The music was on but it was too soft for Lily to hear properly. She thought it was Pon De Replay though. She rushed straight through the groups of people talking to the DJ, James, who was looking pretty bored.

"James! Turn on the volume!"

James smirked and gave a one-syllable reply. "No."

"And why the bloody hell not?"

"Because I don't feel like it. Maybe if you people deserved the music louder then… that would be a different story."

Lily glared at him and swung her hips to the music, watching James' eyes on her hips. She was then singing part of the lyrics.

_Come Mr. DJ song Pon de replay  
Come Mr. DJ won't you turn the music up  
All the gyal pon the dance floor wantin' some more what  
Come Mr. DJ won't you turn the music up_

James still smirked and shook his head. He only turned it up by a _little_ bit.

The volume difference was a _smidge._

Lily sang again and people started to dance on the dance floor, following Lily's lead.

_Run, Run, Run, Run  
Everybody move run  
Lemme see you move and  
Rock it til the grooves done  
Shake it til the moon becomes the sun (Sun)  
Everybody in the club give me a run (Run)  
If you ready to move say it (Yeah Yeah)  
One time for your mind say it (Yeah Yeah)  
Well I'm ready for ya  
Come let me show ya  
You want to groove im'a show you how to move  
Come come_

James finally turned up the volume even louder, leaving Lily's voice drowned out by the music.

_Hey Mr.  
Please Mr. DJ  
Tell me if you hear me  
Turn the music up!_

-&-

James then got a nearby fellow Gryffindor, Mitchell Jordan ("I'm telling you Lily, one day, Mitchell's son is going to be one hell of a commentator!" James exclaimed. Lily just shook her head. **(A/N- Mitchell Jordan equals father of future ickle Lee Jordan.)** to take over.

James just stood there watching Lily dancing. Even when the next song came on, he didn't go on the dance floor.

_Let's get it crunk, we gon' have fun  
Up on in this dancery  
We got ya open, now ya floatin'  
So you gots to dance for me  
Don't need no hateration, holleratin'  
In this dance for me  
Let's get it percolatin', while you're waiting  
So just dance for me_

_It's only gonna be about a matter of time  
Before you get loose and start loose your mind  
Cop you a drink, go head and rock your ice  
Cause we celebrating No More Drama in our life_

_With a great track pumpin', everybody's jumpin'  
Goin ahead and twist your back and get your body bumpin'  
I told you leave your situations at the door  
So grab somebody and get your ass on the dance floor!_

This was directly aimed for James. He grinned at Lily who was smirking in response.

_Let's get it crunk, we gon' have fun  
Up on in this dancery  
We got ya open, now ya floatin'  
So you gots to dance for me  
Don't need no hateration, holleratin'  
In this dance for me  
Let's get it percolatin', while you're waiting  
So just dance for me_

He and Lily danced next to each other. Lily swung her hips and turned. James raised an eyebrow (which, by the way, James could only do half the time) and then they started to have an unspoken competition between them.

Karma waved to Lily, who was dancing with Mike. Mike was an average dancer but, hey, it's not all the time you get a great dancer who could match your pace.

1, 2 Step came on. Lily, Vivienne, and Karma grinned. This was (to quote the way Remus says it to aggravate them), 'like', _their_ song.

**(James)**  
_Ladies and gentlemen  
This is a Jazze Phizzle Productshizzle  
"Missy", The princess is here "Lily!"_

**(Lily)**  
_This Beat Is  
Automatic, supersonic, hypnotic, funky fresh  
Work my body, so melodic, this beat rolls right through my chest  
Everybody, ma and papi, came to party  
Grab somebody, work ya body, work ya body  
Let me see you 1,2 step_

**(Vivienne and Karma)**  
_Rock it, Don't Stop it  
Everybody get on the floor  
Crank the party up  
We about to get it on  
Let me see you 1,2 step  
I love it when you 1,2 step  
Everybody 1,2 step  
We about to get it on_

**(Karma)**  
_This Beat Is  
Outrageous, so contagious, make you crave it  
Jazze made it  
So retarded, top charted, ever since the day I started  
Strut my stuff and yes I flaunt it  
Goodies make the boys jump on it  
No I can't control myself  
Now let me do my 1,2 step_

**(Sirius and Remus because Sirius felt like it and Sirius had pulled Remus into it after he got Remus into a drunken stupor)**  
_We gone drop it like this_

**(We are sorry but Sirius and Remus were so intoxicated they had to get Vivienne and Karma to sing the next part.)**

**(Vivienne and Karma)**  
_It don't matter to me, we can dance slow_  
_Whichever way the beat drops our bodies will flow_  
_So swing it over here Mr. DJ_  
_And we will, we will, Rock you_

**(Lily, smirking at James, who was grinning at her in response)**  
_I shake it like Jello, make the boys say hello  
cause they know im rockin the beat  
I know you heard about a lot of great MC's  
But they ain't got nothin on me  
Because I'm 5 foot 2, i wanna dance with you  
And I'm sophisticated fun, I eat fillet minnow  
I'm nice and young, Best believe I'm number one!_

There had been other songs too. Lily seriously could feel the chemistry between her and James when they danced together. Sure, they had danced with other pretty decent guys and gals, but Lily felt nothing between others. Including Mike. And that scared her.

-&-

As Lily danced a solo for Wake Up by Hilary Duff, James took in the sight of Lily. She was relaxed and wasn't obsessed with work right now.

James knew one day Lily was going to fall from the high expectations of their peers. He could only watch right now but…

When Lily fell down, drowning in her exhaustion, he just hoped he'd be the one to catch her.

-&-

**A/N- Finally updated. I've been really busy lately. I didn't know what to write in this chapter but then I got this idea so... there you go, your 8th chapter.**

**Read and review!**


	9. Quidditch Tryouts

Love Me For Who I Am By-x. by yours truly 

Chapter 9– Quidditch Tryouts

-&-

**Disclaimer-All this belongs to me…but there's one problem: I'm not J.K. Rowling so the only things you don't recognize are mine. And also, if I had owned Harry Potter and everything with that, Harry and Hermione would've gotten together, Draco and Ginny, Luna and Ron, Neville and Padma, Blaise and Pansy, Fred and Angelina, George and Alicia, Katie and Oliver, and James and Lily never would've died. Also, there would be no evil little rat named Pettigrew. (And no Tom Riddle, either.)**

-&-

Thank you to grannyHPfan, Drunk Cow, cerdinalz, Mrs.Scott323, Silia77, **Roki, Carmel March,** and pakiprncess4 for reviewing! I hope you enjoy this chapter! I'm a tad bit in a depressed mood. Cheer me up with reviews? Please?

-&-

List of Main Characters (6)

Lily Evans- 17 years old, went to Beauxbatons from 3rd to 6th year, very smart, hates James Potter because he asked her out in 3rd year and she agreed but that date was because of a bet, former friend of James, talented at ballroom dance and modern dance, karate champion, red hair, green eyes, 5' 7", sister is Squib who married Vernon Dursley (another Squib), parents are powerful members of Ministry, sassy, hot (all the boys describe her as that anyway), was Chaser for Beauxbatons and probably will be for Quidditch, an Animagus (doe), acts civil to James till he pushes her buttons, Head Girl, pureblood

James Potter- 17 years old, very smart, hates Lily Evans because she won't forgive him for that bet, former friend of Lily, talented at ballroom and modern dance (wonderful dance partner to Lily), karate champ, jet-black hair, hazel eyes, only child, parents are friends with Lily's parents, hot (girls describe him like that anyway), is Seeker at Hogwarts and captain for Gryffindor Quidditch team, an Animagus (stag), Head Boy, acts civilly till he annoys Lily to a certain point, pureblood, Lily & James left on relatively friendly terms if you call ignoring each other friendly…

Karma White- 16 years old, best friend of Lily but hasn't seen her for 4 years, strawberry blonde hair that goes to her back, clear blue eyes, dating Sirius Black, 5' 5", Keeper for Gryffindor team, half-blood

Sirius Black- 17 years old, best friend of James but hasn't seen Lily for 4 years like the others, Animagus (black doggie), jet-black hair, chocolate brown eyes, dating the love of his life Karma White, Beater for Gryffindor team. 6' 1", pureblood

Vivienne Langston- 16 years old, best friend of Lily, hasn't seen her for 4 years, werewolf, dark brown hair that goes to middle of back, amethyst purple eyes, 5' 5", Chaser for Gryffindor team, dating Remus Lupin since 6th year's beginning, pureblood

Remus Lupin- 17 years old, best friend of James but hasn't seen Lily for 4 years, werewolf, sandy-colored hair, blue eyes, 6' 3", dating Vivienne Langston since beginning of 6th year's beginning, Chaser for Gryffindor team, half-blood

-&-

Lily awoke from the screaming in James' room next door. She groaned and tried to block out the yelling. From all she could tell, James was really enthusiastic about something.

Lily wondered if he had lost all his marbles (not that James would've understood that saying, since he didn't know what marbles were).

"James?" she asked tentatively from her bed. If she got up and landed in the middle of James' hyper-ness, the results could be _bad_. Just plain _bad_.

"Wiki-wiki-wah-wah!" James shouted and then he ran into Lily's room. "Today's Gryffindor's Quidditch tryouts!"

Lily groaned. "James, it's _wee-kee-wee-kee_-wah-wah, not _wicky-wicky-_wah-wah," she corrected.

"Oh."

"Now James, tell me why on earth you are so _enthusiastic_ about the tryouts?"

James looked at her incredulously, "I'm the captain, remember?"

"Oh, right. I forgot."

"I can't believe you! You're supposed to remember! And Quidditch is my passion!" James said, very deeply (as deeply as one on a maple syrup sugar high can be).

"Really? I thought always having to grudgingly accept the fact you always lose to your best girl friend was your passion, considering it happens so much," she smirked.

"Very funny. Girlfriend?"

"No, I said girl _friend_, not _girl_friend," Lily didn't know why, but she felt a little bothered from that statement. She hid it so well James didn't notice.

-&-

James kept on going on and on about Quidditch's history.

"And then that's how the Chudley Cannons got-"

"James, that's enough. What did you eat? You never ever tell me the _wonderful_ history of Quidditch," Lily stressed the word 'wonderful'.

"Pancakes."

"Not helping much," she muttered. Then she asked hesitantly, "What did you put on _top_ of them?"

"Maple syrup, strawberries, fruit, chocolate syrup, and candy," James said thoughtfully. "No, wait, it wasn't candy, it was-"

"I think you had too much sugar in your body, little boy," she quickly interrupted. It was clear to him he had eaten pancakes from the kitchen, since that was the only place where you could get as many pancakes and toppings you wanted.

"How about that rain check on the kitchen trip?" she asked, as she dressed (rapidly, with the use of some charms and to James' disappointment).

"Sure, why not? Let's get going!" he leapt onto Lily's bed and dragged Lily off. They sped off; due to the fact James insisted he was still hungry after those three enormous piles of pancakes.

-&-

Lily groaned as James tickled the pear. She said, out of breath, "Must you run so fast? It's like you're the roadrunner and Wile E. Coyote is chasing you."

In response, James answered before he stepped into the kitchens, "Beep beep." Lily scowled.

As they approached the kitchen, Lily then struck a question to ask James.

"Why have you decided to hold tryouts _today_?" she asked, since the first day of school had been only a few days ago.

"Because we are going to _win_ the games!!! Every one of them!" he yelled enthusiastically, pumping his hand up in the air.

"Er, you don't have to be _that_ passionate about it?" Lily said nervously, since she wasn't sure if it was safe to actually _say_ something since he was pretty riled up to give a lecture on the importance of Quidditch.

"Quidditch gives us a reason to live," Lily snorted and James glared at her as he munched on a chocolate cookie thoughtfully (and pretty noisily too), "and it spices up our lives."

"I beg to differ."

"Then what's supposed to spice up your life?" he challenged.

Lily said the first thing she could think of.

"Love, of course. You know, there's that saying 'Love begins with a smile, strengthens with a kiss, and ends with a tear'," she replied.

"But the problem with love is," James mused, "is the fact you never know if it's love, lust, or just because he or she has something you want, like money."

"But you just automatically know," she protested, "subconsciously."

"I guess. How would _you_ describe being in love?"

"Well, I've only been in love once," she replied thoughtfully, "so it's hard to tell."

"So who were you in love with?"

"I'm not telling you."

"Then tell me how _you_ know you were in love?"

"Well," she pondered as she munched on a hash brown, "you always feel happy around that person. Even when you had a crappy day, she or he just brightens up your day."

"I see," he said.

"And you feel chemistry between you both. You feel you're actually in tune with him or her. You're usually nervous around him or her and have butterflies in your stomach. It's a pretty wonderful feeling."

"Hm," was all he could say as he was eating some fruit.

"And you feel like nothing can ruin your day as long as he or she is nearby. You'll do anything for that person and if you love him or her enough, you'd sacrifice anything just to be with them."

"So that's how I felt when I was in love," she sighed, "but I don't think I'm going to fall in love anytime soon. I've been hurt too much already," she said, sighing again.

"See, that's the other problem with love," James said, "You always get hurt."

"You're either being cheated on, you're the cheater, or it's just not working," she added.

"True."

"See, that's why I now just date those girls who are decent and actually stay faithful even when we both know we're not going to have a really long or meaningful relationship," he revealed.

"You and Carrie wouldn't work out really well. Neither are Mike and I," she replied, "We barely talk and at the party, we didn't talk at all. We're barely compatible."

"Yeah, Carrie was talking to him," James told of his observations when he had been leading everybody in the Cha-Cha Slide.

"Something's bothering me but I can't put my finger on it," Lily said, with her forehead scrunched up.

"I know," he agreed, "it's like something we probably forgot or something."

"Oh, I know! When we did the tango and the other dances together, Mike never interfered or gave any signs he was jealous and possessive of his girlfriend dancing with another guy," Lily said, puzzled.

"Carrie didn't say anything either," James was just as baffled as she was.

"And then I couldn't find Mike anywhere," she mused.

"I couldn't find Carrie either. I thought she got lost in the crowd," he said.

"So what would be the chances they were together and snuck out together during the party?" James laughed.

However, Lily wasn't laughing. "It could have happened."

-&-

"Alright people! It's time for our Quidditch tryouts today!" James smiled at the crowd. There were a handful of boys and a larger amount of girls. The girls were swooning over him and guys looking at him enviously.

"First of all," Lily spoke up as James looked at her questioningly, "who came here to see Sirius Black and James Potter half-naked? Because if you are here to see them half-naked, I'll add they're both taken and no amount of flirty gestures will make them want you as you play hard-to-get."

About three-fourths of the girls left. One guy, the same guy Lily refused, left also. James, Sirius, and Lily exchanged a skeptical look. Was he gay?

Before Brite could leave, Lily stopped him. "You came here to see Sirius and James half-naked?"

"No," he sighed, "my mom just disapproves of me playing a sport where I could 'get hurt, die and never get my family's inheritance'."

"I see, good-bye!"

James scanned the crowd. He spotted Lily, Remus, and Vivienne. He vaguely wondered which position on the team Lily chose.

-&-

He first announced there were three empty positions for Chaser since the ones last year graduated.

"All younger than seventh year should leave, as you know the Quidditch teams can only be of seventh year because of the accident last year," he winced at the memory of Mitchell Jordan, when he got hit by a Bludger which John Johnson (lol) had accidentally thrown at Mitchell (who broke his nose, quite severely, might I add).

James then set up mini Quidditch teams. Lily and Remus were on the same team and Vivienne was alone on the other.

Lily was exhilarated. She loved flying. It made her feel free and she could forget all her problems. As she dodged Sirius' Bludgers, she briefly glanced at Remus to check up on him. He winked and gave an "I'm okay" signal.

As she soared around, James observed her from where he had been flying. She didn't look like that tired frail girl he saw at night when he secretly watched her. She was robust, strong, and energetic.

He then observed another girl, Marina Watson. She wasn't nearly as flexible as Lily, he noted.

-&-

After the tryouts, Lily felt exhausted and still very good. She was excited about the results, though James didn't even give the faintest hint of who made Chaser.

She plopped down on the couch in the Heads' dorms. She hadn't felt this tired and energetic at the same time for a while. Yesterday, during the party, as she was leading her friends into "Buttons", "Beep", "I Don't Need a Man", "Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover", and "Macarena", she was feeling really happy. She felt relaxed, calm, and totally at home unlike when she was too busy working on her work.

Lily felt guilty. She hadn't been hanging out with her friends much. But that was James' fault, her mind protested. After all, he was the one who was making her damn nervous all the time, the way his eyes would darken as he watched her. James didn't know Lily knew he watched her at night, but when he did, that made Lily very nervous though she hid it pretty well to not arouse James' suspicions.

James came in and said, "I'm going to the hospital wing now to go and check on Watson. She took one in the face," he winced.

"How is she?"

"She's going to be fine, hopefully."

"Hopefully?"

"Yeah, because if I don't hurry and tell Madame Pomfrey what happens so she can heal her properly, she'll bleed to death."

"Yikes," she grimaced. "Does that also 'you' mean you, Sirius and Remus?"

He grinned. "Yep."

"Does that also mean Remus says something along the lines of 'Fabulously ravishing today, m'dear' with a flirty smirk, you say something like 'Loving your attire for today, as always,' and Sirius saying something that sounds suspiciously similar to 'You are the love of my life, I don't think I can live without you, will you have my babies, and let's get married'?"

"Yeah," James grinned again, "we're tight."

Lily just rolled her eyes at him as he left.

-&-

When he left, she found herself in many thoughts about James Potter.

_Dangerous_ thoughts.

Which meant Lily was thinking of jumping him.

The more she tried to stop; she ended up dreaming about him more.

So she decided to go and focus on her homework. The thoughts kept on coming back, not showing any sign of retreat.

She shoved away her thoughts of James forcefully. She couldn't fall in love with James. She just couldn't! She had gotten hurt once and she was a smart girl. If something hurt you already, you shouldn't go back to doing it again, right? That was her way of living. After trying something, she debated on whether doing it again or not.

But love had hurt her already. She did not want to go back to falling in love, though it had been worth it. For a while. No, siree. She was going to remain independent and not in love, ever again.

Because James was the one she had fallen in love with in the first place.

-&-

**A/N- R&R!**


	10. Old Yet New Feelings

Love Me For Who I Am By-x. by yours truly 

Chapter 10– Old Yet New Feelings

-&-

**Disclaimer-All this belongs to me…but there's one problem: I'm not J.K. Rowling so the only things you don't recognize are mine. And also, if I had owned Harry Potter and everything with that, Harry and Hermione would've gotten together, Draco and Ginny, Luna and Ron, Neville and Padma, Blaise and Pansy, Fred and Angelina, George and Alicia, Katie and Oliver, and James and Lily never would've died. Also, there would be no evil little rat named Pettigrew. (And no Tom Riddle, either.)**

-&-

**Thank you to grannyHPfan, Drunk Cow, Carmel March and SerenityRose016 for reviewing! I hope you enjoy this chapter! **

**You know, now I think Harry's also going to die if Voldemort does too. I mean if you recall the prophecy, then you can see they can't live without one another. Personally, JKR might just let both of them live and give us a crappy ending about there'll always be a good vs. evil thing every time.**

**This is the last chapter I'm going to post before I go to my cousin's wedding in Boston. Read and Review!**

-&-

List of Main Characters (6)

Lily Evans- 17 years old, went to Beauxbatons from 3rd to 6th year, very smart, hates James Potter because he asked her out in 3rd year and she agreed but that date was because of a bet, former friend of James, talented at ballroom dance and modern dance, karate champion, red hair, green eyes, 5' 7", sister is Squib who married Vernon Dursley (another Squib), parents are powerful members of Ministry, sassy, hot (all the boys describe her as that anyway), was Chaser for Beauxbatons and probably will be for Quidditch, an Animagus (doe), acts civil to James till he pushes her buttons, Head Girl, pureblood

James Potter- 17 years old, very smart, hates Lily Evans because she won't forgive him for that bet, former friend of Lily, talented at ballroom and modern dance (wonderful dance partner to Lily), karate champ, jet-black hair, hazel eyes, only child, parents are friends with Lily's parents, hot (girls describe him like that anyway), is Seeker at Hogwarts and captain for Gryffindor Quidditch team, an Animagus (stag), Head Boy, acts civilly till he annoys Lily to a certain point, pureblood, Lily & James left on relatively friendly terms if you call ignoring each other friendly…

Karma White- 16 years old, best friend of Lily but hasn't seen her for 4 years, strawberry blonde hair that goes to her back, clear blue eyes, dating Sirius Black, 5' 5", Keeper for Gryffindor team, half-blood

Sirius Black- 17 years old, best friend of James but hasn't seen Lily for 4 years like the others, Animagus (black doggie), jet-black hair, chocolate brown eyes, dating the love of his life Karma White, Beater for Gryffindor team. 6' 1", pureblood

Vivienne Langston- 16 years old, best friend of Lily, hasn't seen her for 4 years, werewolf, dark brown hair that goes to middle of back, amethyst purple eyes, 5' 5", Chaser for Gryffindor team, dating Remus Lupin since 6th year's beginning, pureblood

Remus Lupin- 17 years old, best friend of James but hasn't seen Lily for 4 years, werewolf, sandy-colored hair, blue eyes, 6' 3", dating Vivienne Langston since beginning of 6th year's beginning, Chaser for Gryffindor team, half-blood

-&-

Lily was frantic. Some could even say she was _mad_ (crazy-wise, not anger-wise). She could _not_ be in love with James Potter! Who cared if people were betting on her and him getting together?

Her girlfriends came in. Lily gave a sigh of relief. Surely they could help her stop thinking about _him_?

"You seem tired," Vivienne said thoughtfully.

Lily smiled at her motherly nature and replied, "I am."

"You should relax more," Karma advised. "Maybe less work?"

"I know, but…"

"No buts! You'll become a zombie one day and girl, no one's going to want to date you later," Karma said, before Vivienne hit her in the arm.

"Karma! We were supposed to be making her feel better and stop her from overworking herself," Vivienne hissed.

"No, you said, 'Let's go talk to Lily and try to make her at least _try_ to fall in love with James and then let them have their babies so we would be their-'," Karma paused, realizing what she just said, "Oops."

"Yes, oops is right. You three came here to try to hook James and me up?" Lily's tone held a trace of amusement.

"Well, you know it's true! You're still in love with him!" Vivienne exclaimed.

"Prove it," Lily challenged.

"You perv on James, _pleasuring _yourself a lot probably," Karma smirked as Lily reddened.

"I do not!" Lily snorted indignantly. "I hardly think about him at all."

Karma raised an eyebrow.

"At least I don't think about him anymore."

"You know," Vivienne mused thoughtfully, "you never told us why you stopped crushing on him in third year."

Lily looked alarmed. "Sh! Someone might have been eavesdropping!"

"C'mon Lils. It's no big deal if you like someone. Now tell us why!" Karma demanded.

Lily finally became quiet at this part. She looked hurt for a second and then thoughtful.

"Well," she began musingly, "remember he asked me out in the beginning of third year?"

They nodded, remembering how Lily had been really excited but she had never explained why she was crying at the end of their date.

"I actually thought he was for real," she paused here to laugh bitterly, "but it wasn't."

"How? Wasn't he acting like a total gentleman that time?"

"Yes but…"

"Then what happened?" asked Karma gently. "You don't have to tell us if you don't want to," she added hurriedly.

"No, it's alright. I've kept it in too long already," she took a deep breath before continuing and wiping a tear. Oh Merlin, he had hurt her so much on that little date… and just because she held him in a very special place in her heart, where nobody else had ever been placed.

"We were walking down the hallway and then four other Gryffindor third year boys came along. James just paled and I wondered what was wrong."

"What happened then?"

"Sh, don't interrupt her, Karma, she's upset already," Vivienne handed a tissue to Lily, who nodded thanks.

"And then one of them, Jackson, I think, started to snicker. He said, 'So James, you actually duped her to go out with you on a date?' I was just so… hurt. I looked at James, dumbfounded. I just couldn't believe he would do that to me. It was like he had suddenly turned against me or betrayed me. So I ran from the corridor with tears in my eyes and that's where you guys came in," she sniffled.

"And then I left to Beauxbatons, angry and trying to hate him. And you guys told me he thought I left because of him even though it was so I could start training to gain control of the powers I barely use now," she ended.

The other three girls looked shocked, angry, and murderous at the same time.

"Why, that bastard…" Karma was furious. She was also fiercely loyal to her best friends. Nobody ever hurt _her_ girls. She was known to hurt anyone (no matter who it was) who hurt her best friends. Her lifelong motto was- "You break her heart, I break your face."

And she lived up to it pretty well.

-&-

"No, Karma, it's alright. I mean he apologized and everything…"

"But it still hurts for you to remember it," Vivienne finished.

"Right. But we shouldn't dwell on things like this. He's a good guy, really," Lily added. "He just didn't know what he was doing before."

"But he was horrible!"

"I know Karma."

"But like Lily said, he _is_ a sensible guy, _now_ at least," Vivienne added hastily.

If there's a prize for rotten judgment,  
I guess I've already won that  
No man is worth the aggravation  
That's ancient history,  
Been there,  
Done that

"I guess," Karma said, grudgingly.

"I have called him rotten things before when you guys said he was pretty good," Lily admitted.

"Your judgment wasn't that great," Vivienne said, smiling.

Who'd ya think you're kidding?  
He's the earth and heaven to ya  
Try to keep it hidden, honey we can see right through ya  
Girl ya can't conceal it  
We know how you're feelin', who you're thinking of

"And now you still like him. Isn't that sweet!" exclaimed Vivienne.

"No I don't!" Lily was confused. "And how would you know, anyway?"

"You sort of glow when he's around or even when his name is mentioned. He's your heaven and earth, Lily. You can't hide your feelings forever. And you know denial isn't just a river in Egypt," Karma grinned, forgetting she had called James a bastard for the moment.

No chance, no way, I won't say it, no no  
You swoon, you sigh  
Why deny it, uh oh  
It's too...cliché  
I won't say I'm in love  
(Oooooh ooooh oooh)

"But I'm not in love with him anymore!" she protested.

"Yes, you are! You just won't admit it, even to yourself!" Vivienne explained.

"Isn't it too much of a… cliché?"

"What do you mean?" asked Vivienne.

"I mean, 'Ooh, a girl finally crushes on a guy and is thinking she should admit her feelings to him'," Lily explained.

"So you _are _in love with him," Karma said, grinning.

"No, I am not!"

_I thought my heart had learned its lesson  
It feels so good when ya start out  
My head is screaming "get a grip, girl!"  
"Unless you're dying to cry your heart out!" Ooooh oooh_

"I thought when something hurts you, you shouldn't do it again," Lily protested weakly.

"Love doesn't always hurt you," Vivienne informed her. "Look where Remus and I got!"

"You mean where you, Remus, and your future son got," Karma teased. The girls laughed and focused back on Lily. Again.

"Love is irrational," Lily said.

"So? Being rational is only your mind. You may not notice but every heart, no matter how cold it is, will be irrational because everyone does crazy things when they're in love," Vivienne argued.

"But you'll still get hurt in the end," Lily's argument didn't really help her case much…

You keep on denying  
Who you are and how you're feelin'  
Baby, we're not lying, hone we saw ya Hit the ceiling   
Face it like a grown up  
When ya gonna own up that ya got, got, got it back?

"Stop denying it! You. Love. Him. Period," Vivienne said triumphantly.

"You're protesting against what you're feeling and who you are," Karma added.

"We saw how excited you were the day before the date," Vivienne noted.

"What if he doesn't have same feelings?"

"You never know till you try. You _can_ face this like an adult, right?"

"I guess," Lily replied uncertainly.

Whoa  
No chance, no way, I won't say it, no, no  
Give up, give in  
Check the grin, you're in love!  
You're doing flips read our lips you're in love

"Give in already, Lily! You are in love with him and that's final!" Vivienne exclaimed, frustrated.

"We've seen your lovesick grin and look back at the letters you sent us when you were at the other school! The passion was in there," Karma added.

"And how about that part where you kept saying something along the lines of 'My pining for him is the knowledge he won't ever be mine'?" Karma mocked as Lily blushed.

"I am not in love!"

"God, why do you have to be _so_ stubborn?"

"Because I'm not in love with him!"

"Okay, let's start somewhere else. How do you feel about him?"

"No, Karma. Let's rephrase it this way- how did you feel about him before that date?" asked Vivienne, as she passed Lily a cookie.

You're way off base  
I won't say it  
Get off my case  
I won't say I'm in love

"He meant so much to me, though not as much as the world," Lily replied. "But you're still wrong about me in love with him."

"But you _so_ are!" they exclaimed, giggling at the way they had said the same thing simultaneously.

"Get off my case! Why must you interfere in _my_ love life?"

"Because you're the only one who hasn't gotten a boyfriend."

"I have Mike, remember."

"I mean, a guy that you probably already said, 'I love you' to already."

"Oh, right."

_No chance, no way, I won't say it, no no  
Give up, give in  
Check the grin, you're in love!  
The scene won't play  
I won't say I'm in love  
You're doing flips read our lips you're in love_

"Look at that stupid grin you have on," Vivienne noticed. "You're in love!"

"Give up and give in to the mysterious forces of love," Karma said, grinning.

"I'm not in love! I'll never be in love, alright?" Lily protested.

"I'm betting you have butterflies in your stomach right now," Karma wagered.

"I do not," Lily lied, even though every time she thought of James, her stomach did flips.

_You're way off base  
I won't say it  
Girl, don't be proud, it's ok, you're in love_

"I'm not going to admit it."

"Not even to yourself?"

"Aw, c'mon Lils, it isn't that bad."

"Yes it is! I don't want to be a fucking hypocrite," she finally burst out.

"So? Everyone's a hypocrite, even Dumbledore," Alice said with a giggle.

_No chance, no way, I won't say it, no no  
Give up, give in  
Check the grin, you're in love!  
The scene won't play  
I won't say I'm in love_

"Give up! When you fight with love, it's going to get worse," Vivienne advised.

"Oh dear," Karma checked her watch, "I still need to dress up for my date!"

The other girl ushered her out and said, "I'll help you! And Lily," as a goodbye, "don't forget, you're in love! Admit it!"

_Ooooooh  
At least out loud  
I won't say I'm in...love  
Sha la la la la la...(sigh)_

"I will never admit it!" she shouted to them as they left, and then to herself she said, "At least not out loud, anyways."

-&-

James came in and said, "Hey, Lils."

Then he looked at the pile of work she had done and said, "Aren't you tired?"

"Yes. And confused, too." As James looked at Lily, her eyes weren't bright with energy anymore. They were dull and added to Lily's exhausted frame.

"Go and take a bath then," he advised, "You need one."

She smiled and got up to leave. "And you find something to do."

"Or some_one_ to do," James grinned wickedly.

"Pervert," she called to him jokingly.

"Proud of it too," he shouted back.

-&-

As Lily relaxed in the tub full of pink bubbles, James barged in.

He instantly saw her clothes and then lifted up a pair of white underwear and a white lacy bra.

"Nice underwear," he said cheekily.

Lily, who managed to keep her cool, said, "Thanks."

As Lily reluctantly stopped leaning on the bathtub, she expected cold air to hit her bare shoulders. Instead, she felt James' hot breath and his hands massaging her back gently, loosening her tense muscles.

She shuddered, "James…"

"You don't have time this often to relax," James said in her ear as he worked on loosening her shoulders.

"James, I appreciate it but maybe after I get out of the tub and into my clothes?" she started to reach for a white fluffy towel.

"Okay," he said softly and gave her a kiss on the cheek before handing the towel to her and leaving.

After the door closed behind him, Lily groaned. She had, once again, done the inevitable- she was _definitely_ in love with James Potter.

The only problem was _it wasn't supposed to happen_.

-&-

**A/N- All right, maybe just _one_ more chapter I'll post. But only if I get up to 60 reviews will I post it before I go to Boston this Saturday!**


	11. She Finds Out

Love Me For Who I Am By-x. by yours truly 

Chapter 11– She Finds Out

-&-

**Disclaimer-All this belongs to me…but there's one problem: I'm not J.K. Rowling so the only things you don't recognize are mine. And also, if I had owned Harry Potter and everything with that, Harry and Hermione would've gotten together, Draco and Ginny, Luna and Ron, Neville and Padma, Blaise and Pansy, Fred and Angelina, George and Alicia, Katie and Oliver, and James and Lily never would've died. Also, there would be no evil little rat named Pettigrew. (And no Tom Riddle, either.)**

-&-

**Thank you to** **grannyHPfan, kittens0020, piggy363, futurePOTUS, and codswallop for reviewing! I hope everybody enjoys this last chapter before I go to that wedding in Boston. It's my first wedding to attend, and I'm pretty not happy about it. I mean, I have to wear a _dress_. I don't like to wear dresses. Jeans are a lot better, in my opinion.**

**But you're not here to read about my choices in wardrobe. You're here to read my latest chapter, She Finds Out!**

**Have a nice day!**

-&-

List of Main Characters (6)

Lily Evans- 17 years old, went to Beauxbatons from 3rd to 6th year, very smart, hates James Potter because he asked her out in 3rd year and she agreed but that date was because of a bet, former friend of James, talented at ballroom dance and modern dance, karate champion, red hair, green eyes, 5' 7", sister is Squib who married Vernon Dursley (another Squib), parents are powerful members of Ministry, sassy, hot (all the boys describe her as that anyway), was Chaser for Beauxbatons and probably will be for Quidditch, an Animagus (doe), acts civil to James till he pushes her buttons, Head Girl, pureblood

James Potter- 17 years old, very smart, hates Lily Evans because she won't forgive him for that bet, former friend of Lily, talented at ballroom and modern dance (wonderful dance partner to Lily), karate champ, jet-black hair, hazel eyes, only child, parents are friends with Lily's parents, hot (girls describe him like that anyway), is Seeker at Hogwarts and captain for Gryffindor Quidditch team, an Animagus (stag), Head Boy, acts civilly till he annoys Lily to a certain point, pureblood, Lily & James left on relatively friendly terms if you call ignoring each other friendly…

Karma White- 16 years old, best friend of Lily but hasn't seen her for 4 years, strawberry blonde hair that goes to her back, clear blue eyes, dating Sirius Black, 5' 5", Keeper for Gryffindor team, half-blood

Sirius Black- 17 years old, best friend of James but hasn't seen Lily for 4 years like the others, Animagus (black doggie), jet-black hair, chocolate brown eyes, dating the love of his life Karma White, Beater for Gryffindor team. 6' 1", pureblood

Vivienne Langston- 16 years old, best friend of Lily, hasn't seen her for 4 years, werewolf, dark brown hair that goes to middle of back, amethyst purple eyes, 5' 5", Chaser for Gryffindor team, dating Remus Lupin since 6th year's beginning, pureblood

Remus Lupin- 17 years old, best friend of James but hasn't seen Lily for 4 years, werewolf, sandy-colored hair, blue eyes, 6' 3", dating Vivienne Langston since beginning of 6th year's beginning, Chaser for Gryffindor team, half-blood

-&-

Lily groaned. She was definitely head-over-heels for James-Freaking-Potter.

When he had massaged her back, she was so sure one of their relationship partners were going to walk in (even though they didn't know the password) and say something about them not friends and were cheating on them behind their back.

The only thing she could only think of when James rubbed her shoulders was they were no longer black and white friends. They were, what you call 'friends' with gray areas.

She was so sure James had crossed the line between lovers and friends.

She wasn't sure why she wasn't even worried about Mike. She wasn't even worried about the possibility of James' girlfriend cheating on James with _her_ boyfriend.

There may have been something going on between Carrie and Mike that she should've been suspicious of.

So why was her heart singing? Her boyfriend _could_ be cheating on her so why the bloody, sodding hell was her heart _singing_?

She wasn't sure but lately she didn't like spending time with Mike. Well, she didn't like spending time with him in the first place but now… she _loathed_ it.

I hear singing and there's no one there  
I smell blossoms and the trees are bare  
All day long I seem to walk on air  
I wonder why, I wonder why?

She was sure she was hallucinating. At random times, she felt someone had been singing but when she looked, there was nobody.

The Hogwarts grounds had no more flowers but she could've sworn…

I keep tossing in my sleep at night  
And what's more, I've lost my appetite  
Stars that used to twinkle in the skies  
Are twinkling in my eyes, I wonder why?

Lily was also positive she was seeing things. After all, who saw things flashing before your eyes?

Of course, she could also be just overworking herself. And adding to the fact she couldn't sleep, she didn't know what to do anymore.

She was definitely avoiding James, who was suspecting that much. She didn't eat nor sleep, making her friends worried about her.

Sirius would be force-feeding her Shepherd's Pie or challenging her to a food contest. He'd also start flinging food at Lily, just to get her riled enough to compete with him a food competition. Remus would sit with her in the library, trying to help her finish some of the work she had offered to do for the professors.

And Lily would ask herself why she couldn't eat or sleep much, especially around James Potter.

You don't need analyzin'  
It is not so surprisin'  
That you feel very strange but nice  
Your heart goes pitter-patter  
I know just what's the matter  
Because I've been there once or twice

The girls would just smile mysteriously when Remus, Sirius and James asked what was wrong with her.

Because she was definitely deeply in love with her best friend.

It wasn't Lily didn't want to date James. Oh, she did but she didn't have any reason to dump Mike. After all, you couldn't go up to your boyfriend and say, "Hi Mike, how are you, we're over because I'm in love with my frikkin' best friend, damn it, and did you finish your Potions essay?"

"What is happening to me?" Lily practically started to tear her hair out with her friends amusedly watching.

"You don't need to go to the doctor, that's for sure," Karma remarked, dryly.

"Why? I'm tired, can't eat, and can't sleep!" Lily was hysterical.

"Well, you're feeling strange-"

"-And nice-"

"At the same time, right?" Vivienne asked.

"Right…" Lily replied hesitantly. She didn't want to know where this conversation was leading.

"And your heart literally goes pitter-patter?" asked Karma, a grin wickedly starting to grow on her face.

"Yes…"

"Oh, stupid Lily!" Vivienne smacked her forehead, "You're not sick! I know what's the matter since I'm in it right now!"

Put your head on my shoulder  
You need someone who's older  
A rub down with a velvet glove  
There is nothing you can take  
To relieve that pleasant ache  
You're not sick, you're just in love!

Lily looked so defeated as she laid her head on Vivienne's shoulder, who smiled at her sympathetically.

"You need someone wiser in this topic to tell you," as Karma rubbed her back gently, since Lily was so overwhelmed and clueless.

"I mean, I'm hurting somewhere, but I just don't know how and why I know," Lily said, trying to word her thoughts. "Should I take aspirin?"

"No!" Vivienne exclaimed. "You're not sick! You're just in love!"

The two girls (Karma and Vivienne) smiled as Lily gaped and surprised them with her next outburst.

"So that's why!"

-&-

The fact that even her friends could tell made the fact even realer to her now. I'm in love with my best friend.

Too bad she wanted to fight it till none of them were right.

Her mom said love was simple and wonderful.

So why was love complicated right now?

She wanted to break up with Mike, she knew that. But she also didn't want to hurt him because she chose her best friend over her would-be-ex.

So why was it so difficult now?

Oh, right. She didn't want to hurt too many people.

Damn her conscience. Her conscience made her too nice to people.

Sometimes.

Lily sighed. Her rambling on wasn't going to help.

I could lose my heart tonight  
If you don't turn and walk away

The truth was, she was scared. What if he didn't reciprocate her feelings toward him? She didn't want to lose her heart over a simple crush.

But was it a simple crush?

Lily had been asking herself that ever since they met up back after four years.

She admitted sometimes she felt like killing him, though she also felt like kissing him no matter what fight ever happened between them.

If he walked away from her, she didn't know if her heart could take it. It was still scarred, from previous bumps in their platonic relationship. She felt so confused, so out of control of her life. But then again, that could be sensible.

After all, when you could control your life, you weren't going fast enough, right?

'Cause I could take in my arms  
And never let go

She wanted to hold him and never let go. She didn't even know if that was possible.

Lily was scared of love. She was also scared of James not liking her back.

The worst thing was, at least, was she could like him too much to be a 'like'.

She could love him, for real.

I could fall in love with you  
I could fall in love with you

Not the type friends share, but more like the married couples (happily married, of course) shared. She didn't even think it was possible to love so deeply when only seventeen!

But then again, she thought wryly, stranger things had happened.

This was getting more complicated than she ever could have imagined. She wanted him, she knew that for sure.

That was simple.

She should break up with Mike and have a good life with James, right?

But she didn't want to hurt his feelings. And then came the possibility again- what if he didn't like her back?

I can only wonder how  
Touching you would make me feel  
But if I take that chance right now  
Tomorrow will you want me still?

She often wondered how it would feel to touch him, more intimately than a platonic friend would touch. She wanted to know if there would be sparks.

Fireworks.

Passion.

She wanted to know a lot of things.

Did he want her as well?

So I should keep this to myself  
And never let you know

She was curious, all right.

She was also very cautious about this. And she was reminded about the saying, "Curiosity killed the cat."

She was stopped by her carefulness.

So I should keep this to myself  
And never let you know

So, Lily had her decision. She was going to keep this quiet. And she was never, ever, not even under any circumstances, was she ever going to let James know about her feelings.

Never.

That wouldn't be too hard, right? All she had to do was ignore him all the time.

Just one problem- she lived with him.

Lily groaned.

"This is so damn confusing!" she shouted, throwing a pillow on the floor.

"What is so, as you say it, 'so damn confusing'?" asked James, coming in.

I could fall in love with you  
I could fall in love with you

"Nothing. Just thinking hard, I guess," she replied before making a quick exit to her room.

Darn it, she was deeply into this whole 'I'm in love with James Potter' thing.

The worst thing that could happened, she thought, just happened to me.

I fully understood I was in love with James Potter.

And I know it's not right  
And I guess I should try to do what I should do  
But I could fall in love, fall in love with you  
I could fall in love with you

She knew it wasn't right. She couldn't just fall in love with a guy who never had any romantic interest in her, ever.

She could fall in love and that already happened.

She tried to do the only thing she could do- fight it.

But she didn't want to, since she was in love with a guy who was not her current probably-cheating-on-her boyfriend.

So I should keep this to myself  
And never let you know  
I could fall in love with you  
I could fall in love with you  
I could fall in love, I could fall in love  
With you...

So now it was settled. She was going to pretend those kisses never existed.

She was going to pretend her heart had never been broken.

She was going to pretend she never loved him.

Unless…

-&-

Lily was rushing to meet Mike after dinner when she suddenly stopped in her tracks.

She heard voices and sounds of heavy snogging.

She was ready to admonish them and take points away from them until she recognized these voices.

She heard Carrie Cole.

She also heard Mike Murphy.

"Look, Carrie, I can't break it off with her now. And you're still with him," Mike was saying, pleading with her.

"Alright, but Mike we need to break it off soon before both of them get hurt even more," Carrie replied sadly.

And then she left.

Lily pretended she wasn't listening and had just arrived. "Hi, Mike!" she greeted brightly.

"Hey, Lil. Look, I'm a little preoccupied today…"

"It's alright, I'm distracted too… I actually need to go back to my room, so see you later!" she blew him a kiss and left.

She was so positive she was stupidly smiling.

Maybe she had a chance.

-&-

"So Mike's cheating on me, eh?" she mused.

"That means I'm going to be able to break up with him without hurting him! This is awesome!"

She smiled.

"Now, to find out subtly if my best, closest guy mate likes me," she rubbed her hands together, "and now let's get started."

-&-

**A/N- Read and review! **


	12. Dreams DO Come True

Love Me For Who I Am By-x. by yours truly 

Chapter 12– Dreams DO Come True

-&-

**Disclaimer-All this belongs to me…but there's one problem: I'm not J.K. Rowling so the only things you don't recognize are mine. And also, if I had owned Harry Potter and everything with that, Harry and Hermione would've gotten together, Draco and Ginny, Luna and Ron, Neville and Padma, Blaise and Pansy, Fred and Angelina, George and Alicia, Katie and Oliver, and James and Lily never would've died. Also, there would be no evil little rat named Pettigrew. (And no Tom Riddle, either.)**

-&-

**Thank you to Drunk Cow, Carmel March, and grannyHPfan for reviewing that chapter! That was my quickest update, so far, lol. **

**Boston was lovely. The wedding was lovely. However…**

**My dress and high heels were not.**

**Anyways, it was fun, playing with my little cousins. And guess what?**

**I FINALLY BOUGHT THE HARRY POTTER SERIES AT THE BORDERS STORE! I have wanted to get them for years! I finally got them this year. I might just rewrite every one of those books just the way I like it. But only for fun.**

-&-

List of Main Characters (6)

Lily Evans- 17 years old, went to Beauxbatons from 3rd to 6th year, very smart, hates James Potter because he asked her out in 3rd year and she agreed but that date was because of a bet, former friend of James, talented at ballroom dance and modern dance, karate champion, red hair, green eyes, 5' 7", sister is Squib who married Vernon Dursley (another Squib), parents are powerful members of Ministry, sassy, hot (all the boys describe her as that anyway), was Chaser for Beauxbatons and probably will be for Quidditch, an Animagus (doe), acts civil to James till he pushes her buttons, Head Girl, pureblood

James Potter- 17 years old, very smart, hates Lily Evans because she won't forgive him for that bet, former friend of Lily, talented at ballroom and modern dance (wonderful dance partner to Lily), karate champ, jet-black hair, hazel eyes, only child, parents are friends with Lily's parents, hot (girls describe him like that anyway), is Seeker at Hogwarts and captain for Gryffindor Quidditch team, an Animagus (stag), Head Boy, acts civilly till he annoys Lily to a certain point, pureblood, Lily & James left on relatively friendly terms if you call ignoring each other friendly…

Karma White- 16 years old, best friend of Lily but hasn't seen her for 4 years, strawberry blonde hair that goes to her back, clear blue eyes, dating Sirius Black, 5' 5", Keeper for Gryffindor team, half-blood

Sirius Black- 17 years old, best friend of James but hasn't seen Lily for 4 years like the others, Animagus (black doggie), jet-black hair, chocolate brown eyes, dating the love of his life Karma White, Beater for Gryffindor team. 6' 1", pureblood

Vivienne Langston- 16 years old, best friend of Lily, hasn't seen her for 4 years, werewolf, dark brown hair that goes to middle of back, amethyst purple eyes, 5' 5", Chaser for Gryffindor team, dating Remus Lupin since 6th year's beginning, pureblood

Remus Lupin- 17 years old, best friend of James but hasn't seen Lily for 4 years, werewolf, sandy-colored hair, blue eyes, 6' 3", dating Vivienne Langston since beginning of 6th year's beginning, Chaser for Gryffindor team, half-blood

-&-

Lily sat and wondered.

What would you do to see if your best guy friend wanted you?

Lily sat and pondered till she had an idea. She also wondered why she never thought of it before.

To find out if your guy friend liked you, you needed to take advantage of their raging hormones. Of course!

One question- what would you have to do to find out if he wanted you?

She had only one answer- dress up as sexily as possible. But she had to remain clueless to what she had been doing and also she had to remember one important thing- make sure it's suitable for the weather and the events happening on a Saturday like today.

Since it was a Saturday with Quidditch tryouts, she decided to wear something that would wow any guy today.

Lily smiled. Operation Curiosity-Feelings was a go.

-&-

Lily studied herself in the mirror and grinned. She looked pretty hot, to say for herself. She was wearing a low-cut white blouse revealing her midriff. She was also wearing jeans that looked like they were going to drop off of her tall and thin legs any second. Her hair was slightly messy (though tied up in a ponytail), the type that said 'I'm having a good day' and was begging for a guy to run his hands in.

Lily didn't add much makeup, so James wouldn't be suspicious.

She walked out of the bathroom and smack into James, who gaped at her appearance.

Lily didn't see what was so surprising. Sure, she did wear her uniform everyday they had classes but_ please_! It was the weekend! She didn't need to wear it 24/7.

"James, what is the problem? I'm just wearing something comfortable for the weekend. I don't have to wear it out of classes, right?" she laughed as James collected himself.

"Yeah, just um… I need to go take a shower now!" he nearly ran into the bathroom.

Lily laughed. "Well, that was solved."

-&-

"Alright! It's time for our Quidditch practice!" James announced as his team looked at him expectantly. There was Sirius and Karma, grinning and looking ready to take off. There was Remus and Vivienne, debating which position would be best as they flew trying to avoid Bludgers. Last, there was Lily, who was just smiling at him; ready for any task he had for them today.

A few other Gryffindors were watching the practice also, mostly either envying James Potter or swooning in his presence.

"Okay, today we're going to practice going along with dodging the Bludgers and Sirius, I hope you improved your accuracy with them," James said, jokingly.

"Hey! I resent that!" Sirius pouted as everybody laughed.

"READY, SET, GO!" James shouted as everybody started to soar through the air.

He observed them as they did flying exercises, giving out pointers as they flew.

"No, Lupin! Higher!" he yelled as Remus attempted to fly smoothly.

"Potter, if I go any higher, I'll die, and you'll lose your only male Chaser," Remus huffed back.

-&-

Lily relished in the freedom in the air. She could feel the power in the air and she cherished it. She had never felt so free.

As she glided through the calming winds, her broom followed her every command.

Her every decree.

Her every… desire.

She was a hunter, a lioness, preparing to pounce. Her eyes looked everywhere, darting around in an alert manner.

Lily was about to-

_Crash!_

In her moment of distraction, a Bludger collided with her arm! She winced in pain and down she fell.

Softly like a shooting star, she landed in the grass.

For a moment, her arm was numb and devoid of any pain. Suddenly though, the pain rushed back and Lily grimaced. Her arm hurt very much. She groaned in agony as James briskly made his way over to her.

"It's okay, keep on practicing. I'm going to take Lily to the hospital wing. You continue on!" he said, before making a cast for her arm and picking Lily up bridal style.

-&-

"James, I don't need to go to the hospital wing! I'm perfectly fine! Peachy keen!" Lily exclaimed, trying to kick him in the you-know-what.

"Lily, you better stop kicking me because I'm still going to take you to the hospital wing right now!" he struggled to keep her from making him unable to have children.

She still fought. He was annoyed by the way she could easily bruise his arms. He was also hurting from where she 'accidentally' kicked him in the… maybe some parts shouldn't be mentioned.

_Hey, _James and Lily thought simultaneously,_ this is just like my dream!_

James groaned inwardly. Why was the hospital wing so bloody far?

Finally James only had one option. He looked at Lily, who stopped kicking for a moment.

"Please don't hate me for this." _This is destiny, and you knew it was going to happen._

He then gently laid his mouth on hers. Her legs instinctively wrapped around his waist as he held her in his arms.

_I never thought that one day my dreams would really come true,_

To fall from the heavens into the clouds 

James couldn't believe it. Lily's mouth tasted intoxicating. He couldn't stop kissing her and didn't want to stop either.

James always secretly believed kissing someone was the best feeling in the world.

But now, he had a different favorite.

Apparently the only thing better than kissing someone was…

…Someone kissing you back.

Lily couldn't believe it but now, she learned something.

Dreams _do_ come true, quite literally at times, too!

As they kissed, there it was.

The sparks.

The fireworks.

The… _passion_.

Their passion in this was fierce. Lily had never felt so much passion in kissing in her whole life.

James reached into her Quidditch robes and touched her curves.

Soft.

Feminine.

Sexy.

It never occurred to James Lily wasn't a girl. Maybe he had been ignorant about it in the past but…

He certainly noticed she was a girl when they met again in that hotel. And believe it, he _noticed_.

_I've dreamed all my life that this would happen to me  
I've fallen in love and the feeling won't let me be  
He came along and brightened up my world_

She dreamed of this moment for so long! This in-love feeling wouldn't stop making her smitten with her best friend. Every bad day was always brightened up when he came along.

_I never thought that true love would ever find this girl  
Now that he's a part of me I can't imagine life the same  
I want to marry him someday and be the one to share his name   
I've never felt this way before_

James always helped her. He had supported her every time in every of her decisions. She didn't think she could live without him in her life. She knew she wanted to marry him one day and be the one forever known as 'Mrs. James Potter'. She never felt like this before.

_It's like he turned on the light and opened the door  
He's my heart, my soul, and even my mind  
He's everything I've dreamed of, he's one of a kind  
I'm always thinking of him day after day_

James groaned at the sensation her sucking on his bottom lip. She was _truly_ intoxicating. They stopped to breathe and looked at each other. James' eyes were murky and hard to read. Lily's were clear and emerald, though oddly hazy with happiness. Lily sighed blissfully. He was everything she dreamed of and was always on her mind, 24/7.

And tentatively, James kissed her again, playing a new dance with her tongue.

_And I'm always going to love him but I want him to hear me say  
The things I have been longing to tell him but never thought words were enough  
That I'm going to love him forever, through the good times and the rough_

The moment they kissed again, Lily knew he was the One. She wanted to tell him she loved him. But even then, she knew words were not enough. She knew she could love this man, unconditionally through all the good and bad times.

_I never realized that my love could be so strong  
And his love is so sweet that I know this isn't wrong_

Her mind wanted to stop doing this because it was wrong. They were best friends! But his kisses… they were so sweet. At that moment, she thought, _This isn't wrong. _

_So with all my might and all my strength I will do my best  
To love him with all of me and to make this feeling last   
So honey if you read this, just know that this is true  
My darling... I'm in love with you._

Soon they had to stop to go to the hospital wing. Just before they entered, he asked her, "Are you okay with this? And how about Mike?"

She raised an eyebrow and said, "My boyfriend's cheating on me so why _wouldn't_ I be okay?"

"Oh, dear, I forgot. Carrie!" he smacked his forehead.

Lily smirked, "Did you notice I didn't tell you _who_ he's cheating on?"

James nodded slowly and looked confused for a while. Slowly, a look of dawning comprehension was on his face. "You mean-"

"Yeah."

"The nerve of h-"

"Yeah."

"Are you sure it's h-"

"Yeah."

"Are you sure you want to be-"

"Yeah."

"Oh. Okay, let's get you to Madame Pomfrey first."

-&-

"Lookin' good, Poppy!" James greeted, carrying in a disheveled Lily.

"What happened to her? Did you try to murder her?" asked Madame Pomfrey, ignoring James' greeting.

"No! It was a Quidditch thing! Why must you always look at me first?" he asked, as he watched 'Poppy' inspect her arm.

"Force of habit," she replied as she shooed James out the door.

-&-

During dinner in the Great Hall, Lily met up with Mike.

"Look, Lily, I need to tell you something-" Mike started to say before Lily interrupted him.

"It's okay. We're over," she smiled gently.

"You knew?"

"Yes, but then again, I know everything," she teased. "I'm okay with it and besides, now you can snog Carrie in public and I can do ditto with James."

Mike blushed. "So we're cool?"

"Yeah."

-&-

"Lily?" James asked in the Heads' dorm.

"Hm?"

"About today…"

"Give me time."

"Oh, okay…"

Lily wanted to think. This was because she didn't know what to make out of what had happened.

-&-

James looked at the rest of the Marauders. "Guys, this is serious! What if Lily doesn't really like me?"

"Oh, she does," Remus assured him. "Just time to ponder over what happened."

"You have two options," Remus said.

"You either force the truth out of her," Sirius said, "or you wait till she cracks."

James didn't mind the wait. He had a dream Lily was going to tell him soon.

And he ignored the teasing about his little hope about Lily going to tell him soon.

Because James _knew_ she was going to say she liked, or even better, _loved_ him.

After all, dreams _did_ come true, right?

_"All good things come to those who wait."_

-&-

**A/N- I _loved_ this chapter. R&R!**


	13. Whacking the Head & a State of Celibacy

Love Me For Who I Am By-x. by yours truly 

Chapter 13– Whacking on the Head and a State of Celibacy

-&-

**Disclaimer-All this belongs to me…but there's one problem: I'm not J.K. Rowling so the only things you don't recognize are mine. And also, if I had owned Harry Potter and everything with that, Harry and Hermione would've gotten together, Draco and Ginny, Luna and Ron, Neville and Padma, Blaise and Pansy, Fred and Angelina, George and Alicia, Katie and Oliver, and James and Lily never would've died. Also, there would be no evil little rat named Pettigrew. (And no Tom Riddle, either.)**

-&-

**Thank you to grannyHPfan, SerenityRose016, Drunk Cow and futurePOTUS for reviewing! I personally claim this chapter as my favorite of them all, right after Chapter 12, since that was the most… quixotic thing I've ever written in my whole life.**

**So read and review, please?**

-&-

List of Main Characters (6)

Lily Evans- 17 years old, went to Beauxbatons from 3rd to 6th year, very smart, talented at ballroom dance and modern dance, karate champion, red hair, green eyes, 5' 7", sister is Squib who married Vernon Dursley (another Squib), parents are powerful members of Ministry, sassy, hot (all the boys describe her as that anyway), was Chaser for Beauxbatons and probably will be for Quidditch, an Animagus (doe), Head Girl, pureblood

James Potter- 17 years old, very smart, talented at ballroom and modern dance (wonderful dance partner to Lily), karate champ, jet-black hair, hazel eyes, only child, parents are friends with Lily's parents, hot (girls describe him like that anyway), is Seeker at Hogwarts and captain for Gryffindor Quidditch team, an Animagus (stag), Head Boy, pureblood

Karma White- 16 years old, best friend of Lily but hasn't seen her for 4 years, strawberry blonde hair that goes to her back, clear blue eyes, dating Sirius Black, 5' 5", Keeper for Gryffindor team, half-blood

Sirius Black- 17 years old, best friend of James but hasn't seen Lily for 4 years like the others, Animagus (black doggie), jet-black hair, chocolate brown eyes, dating the love of his life Karma White, Beater for Gryffindor team. 6' 1", pureblood

Vivienne Langston- 16 years old, best friend of Lily, hasn't seen her for 4 years, werewolf, dark brown hair that goes to middle of back, amethyst purple eyes, 5' 5", Chaser for Gryffindor team, dating Remus Lupin since 6th year's beginning, pureblood

Remus Lupin- 17 years old, best friend of James but hasn't seen Lily for 4 years, werewolf, sandy-colored hair, blue eyes, 6' 3", dating Vivienne Langston since beginning of 6th year's beginning, Chaser for Gryffindor team, half-blood

-&-

_There are some lessons that cannot come from a book... they must simply be lived. _

That was what kissing James felt like to Lily. Nobody ever told her kissing him was like… tasting an ice cream. He, in her opinion, had tasted so delicious and ever so quenching her thirst for something she never even knew she wanted.

Sometimes the snow comes down in June  
Sometimes the sun goes around the moon  
I see the passion in your eyes  
Sometimes it's all a big surprise

Lily knew strange things happened a lot. Yesterday, after they had kissed for a while, they had talked. Like how sometimes it snowed in June, (probably in Australia, Lily figured), and the sun went around the moon (like during an eclipse of some sort, James said), she could see that fervor in his eyes. Many times when Lily and James were talking when they were still dating other people, she would see this… passion in his eyes though she could tell it was not for Carrie. She often asked herself. Why? And for who?

'Cause there was a time when all I did was wish  
You'd tell me this was love  
It's not the way I hoped, or how I planned  
But somehow it's enough

Sometimes she had wished James loved her romantically too. She hadn't planned on him attacking her with his lips but somehow she knew it had been enough. She let a blush take place on her cheeks when she remembered how she had responded to him snogging her. And her response had been quite vicious, too!

But now we're standing face to face  
Isn't this world a crazy place?  
Just when I thought a chance had passed  
You go and save the best for last

Lily had then stopped, feeling upset. She had thought he had done that to just stop her from kicking him. James, being the observant nosy bloke he was, had noticed something was wrong.

They had stood face-to-face. Lily had thought after this, everything would be normal and another chance would've been passed. But then she found out he wanted the best for last.

All of the nights you came to me  
'Cause some silly girl had set you free  
You wondered how you'd make it through  
I wondered what was wrong with you

Every night, either Lily or James went to the other's bed because they couldn't sleep without each other (just sleeping, not sleeping _with_). Every time he came, he always talked about his dreams. Lily thought she was some kind of key to him when his girlfriend wouldn't talk to him.

Often she wondered why he talked to some silly girl instead of his girlfriend.

And she'd ask herself, "What is wrong with him?"

_'Cause how could you give your love to someone else  
And share your dreams with me  
Sometimes the very thing you're looking for  
Is the one thing you can't see_

She asked herself this because she wanted to know why he was dating somebody else yet he talked to her about random things. And she often wondered what she was missing because she knew some things couldn't be seen, especially the thing you were looking for.

-&-

_But now we're standing face to face  
Isn't this world a crazy place?  
Just when I thought a chance had passed  
You go and save the best for last_

They had talked things out, face-to-face. When she thought a chance was lost, there came the thing she wanted the most. She always forgot something- James was the type to save the best things for last.

_Sometimes the very thing you're looking for  
Is the one thing you can't see_

She was looking for the fact he loved her back. She couldn't see it. But later, it was all clear.

_Sometimes the snow comes down in June  
Sometimes the sun goes around the moon  
Just when I thought a chance had passed  
You go and save the best for last  
You went and saved the best for last_

Lily knew snow could come down in June. She knew the sun sometimes went around the moon. She also knew when she thought a chance had passed the best came to her. He loved her.

And all she had to do was just be patient. Because in the end, James had saved the best for last.

-&-

James charged in.

"What's wrong?" asked Lily concernedly.

"I don't get it! I mean, I'm smart, filthy rich, popular, and funny! How could Carrie cheat on me? Was I not good-looking enough?" James rambled on and on about something sounding suspiciously to he probably wasn't handsome and needed to go and get plastic surgery.

Lily was about to speak again until James interrupted her.

"Lils, you reckon I'm hot?" he asked, grinning stupidly.

Lily swallowed. "I refuse to dignify that with an answer, James."

"Darn."

-&-

James had just left so that gave her some time to do something she never would've ever thought of doing – she whacked her head.

She didn't want to go date James, just because of the small fact that it would make her a bloody hypocrite!

Lily then knew what she was going to be.

She was going to go become a nun in a convent far, far away. She was about to smash another pillow at her head when James hurried back in from the bathroom.

"Whoa! Lily, why is there a large bruise on your forehead?" he asked, worried.

"It's all your fault," she replied, angrily.

"Why? I didn't do anything!"

"Yes, you did!"

"Nuh-uh!"

"Uh-huh!"

"Nuh-uh!"

"Uh-huh!"

"Nuh-uh!"

"Uh-huh!"

"Nuh-uh!"

"Uh-huh!"

"Okay, Lily, what did I do?"

"You," Lily pointed her finger at him dangerously, "made going out with James Potter actually sound appealing!"

"Ouch."

"Which is why I'm going to become celibate."

"Celibacy?" he paled.

"Yes!"

"Why?"

"Because I don't want everybody to know that their Head Girl was a hypocrite!"

"That's it! Geez, Lily, you could've given a better reason," James said, scratching his head. "Is it so horrible to go and date me, your best friend?"

"Yes! I mean, what if it doesn't work out?" asked Lily, finally revealing her true fears.

"Oh, Lily," he softened, "it will. Trust me."

He then kissed her gently and lovingly.

-&-

"Well?" James said against her lips.

Lily then mumbled into his mouth, "Maybe being a hypocrite isn't so bad…"

James' arms circled around Lily and held her tight.

-&-

That night, Lily sat on her bed looking out the windows at the stars. James hadn't come in yet so she had a bit of time to think.

She was dating James Potter! That was the fact that kept ringing in her head. She knew James and her would be called the 'Golden Couple of Hogwarts' when they saw them tomorrow. She knew this because she had overheard many students, ghosts, professors, and even Peeves whispering about it!

_Late at night when all the world is sleeping  
I'd stay up and think of you  
And I'd wish on a star  
That somewhere you are thinking of me too_

Lily thought of James. He was probably reading at this hour. He would be wearing his blue-white striped pajamas and have a cup of hot chocolate near by. She knew he'd be probably reading what he called 'a trashy romance novel'.

And maybe he'd think of her too…

'_Cause I'm dreaming of you tonight  
Till tomorrow, I'll be holding you tight  
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be   
Then here in my room,  
Dreaming about you and me_

She wanted to dream about him all night long until tomorrow, when she could consciously remember holding him tight. She wanted to only be in her room, dreaming about them together. Creating memories, dreams, and more hopes for the future.

_Wonder if you even see me  
And I wonder if you know I'm there  
If you looked in my eyes  
Would you see what's inside?   
Would you even care?_

She always wondered if James always overlooked her and knew she was there. She wanted to know if he could tell what she was feeling when he made contact with her eyes. Before, would he have even cared?

I just wanna hold you close  
But so far, all I have are dreams of you  
So, I wait for the day and the courage to say  
How much I love you(Yes, I do)

She had wanted to embrace him every time. Before, she could only dream and wait till she could say 'I love you' with confidence.

I'll be dreaming of you tonight  
Till tomorrow, I'll be holding you tight  
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be  
Then here in my room,  
Dreaming about you and me

She'd be dreaming today, she figured. And then tomorrow, she'd be hugging him. Now she only desired to be in her room dreaming about _them_.

Them. What a wonderful word, Lily mused. It was perfect to describe her and James.

Ahhh...I can't stop dreaming of you  
Ahhh...I can't stop dreamin'

Dreaming of him was an addiction. She just couldn't stop dreaming about him…

-&-

"Lily, babe, I think you know dreaming is not as good as reality. And you were dreaming about me? I'm honored," he teased. Lily had been just humming "Dreaming of You" when he came in.

Late at night when all the world is sleeping  
I'd stay up and think of you  
And I still can't believe that you came up to me  
And said, "I love you; I love you too"

"At night, I'd dream about us together," Lily admitted to him as they sat there, holding each other.

"Me, too," he confessed, relishing in the closeness they could now openly share.

Lily still couldn't believe he had said, "I love you" with no hesitation at all just yesterday.

"I love you," Lily said.

"Me, too," James said, nuzzling his nose with hers.

"I love you more. So there," she stuck her tongue out at him.

_Now I'm dreaming with you tonight  
Till tomorrow, and for all of my life  
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be  
Then here in my room,  
Dreaming with you endlessly..._

"Instead of dreaming alone, we can dream together now," James said, as Lily cuddled closer to him.

"Yeah," Lily agreed, as she gave him a kiss on the lips.

"For the rest of our lives, dreaming endlessly," James kept on talking about them dreaming until Lily shut him up efficiently.

-&-

Lily was happy. Why? She got the one thing every princess wanted besides a happy ending- her Prince Charming.

And she intended to love that Prince Charming forever.

She knew nuns that were living in a convent far, far away weren't supposed to go and have Prince Charmings but…

She figured this nun living in a convent far, far away could make her own rules.

After all, it got her James Potter, didn't it?

-&-

**A/N- Wow. Long chapter. Well, read and review! **


	14. I Love You

Love Me For Who I Am By-x. by yours truly 

Chapter 14– I Love You

-&-

**Disclaimer-All this belongs to me…but there's one problem: I'm not J.K. Rowling so the only things you don't recognize are mine. And also, if I had owned Harry Potter and everything with that, Harry and Hermione would've gotten together, Draco and Ginny, Luna and Ron, Neville and Padma, Blaise and Pansy, Fred and Angelina, George and Alicia, Katie and Oliver, and James and Lily never would've died. Also, there would be no evil little rat named Pettigrew. (And no Tom Riddle, either.)**

-&-

**Thank you to grannyHPfan, SerenityRose016, Carmel March, Mrs.Scott323, Alaskan Chick and futurePOTUS for reviewing! Hee hee, I love **_Dreaming of You_** by Selena too. ******

**The next chapters are going to be kind of fluff-ridden and full of happiness until…**

**I'm going to let _you_ find out later.**

**Hopefully you can review. I'm going to be really busy and that's because a family member of mine died recently on Saturday, 9/2/06. Other reason will be school.**

**School's starting on September 5th and I'm not excited. I won't be posting much so this is my last chapter before you have to wait really long. Sorry!**

-&-

List of Main Characters (6)

Lily Evans- 17 years old, went to Beauxbatons from 3rd to 6th year, very smart, talented at ballroom dance and modern dance, karate champion, red hair, green eyes, 5' 7", sister is Squib who married Vernon Dursley (another Squib), parents are powerful members of Ministry, sassy, hot (all the boys describe her as that anyway), was Chaser for Beauxbatons and probably will be for Quidditch, an Animagus (doe), Head Girl, pureblood

James Potter- 17 years old, very smart, talented at ballroom and modern dance (wonderful dance partner to Lily), karate champ, jet-black hair, hazel eyes, only child, parents are friends with Lily's parents, hot (girls describe him like that anyway), is Seeker at Hogwarts and captain for Gryffindor Quidditch team, an Animagus (stag), Head Boy, pureblood

Karma White- 16 years old, best friend of Lily but hasn't seen her for 4 years, strawberry blonde hair that goes to her back, clear blue eyes, dating Sirius Black, 5' 5", Keeper for Gryffindor team, half-blood

Sirius Black- 17 years old, best friend of James but hasn't seen Lily for 4 years like the others, Animagus (black doggie), jet-black hair, chocolate brown eyes, dating the love of his life Karma White, Beater for Gryffindor team. 6' 1", pureblood

Vivienne Langston- 16 years old, best friend of Lily, hasn't seen her for 4 years, werewolf, dark brown hair that goes to middle of back, amethyst purple eyes, 5' 5", Chaser for Gryffindor team, dating Remus Lupin since 6th year's beginning, pureblood

Remus Lupin- 17 years old, best friend of James but hasn't seen Lily for 4 years, werewolf, sandy-colored hair, blue eyes, 6' 3", dating Vivienne Langston since beginning of 6th year's beginning, Chaser for Gryffindor team, half-blood

-&-

Love is like a mountain,  
hard to climb,  
but once you get to the top  
the view is beautiful.

James was _really_, _really_, _really_ nervous. He was fidgeting a lot, too. Sirius and Remus looked at him pacing away, amused.

"Dude, stop being so nervous! She's going to say yes! She _is_ your girlfriend, isn't she?" Sirius reminded him.

_Girlfriend._

That one word hadn't meant a lot till he started dating Lily.

_Lily._

_That_ one name was able to make him smile. She was probably reading a romance novel now, being the passionate hopeless romantic he knew.

"But… you remember last time, right?" James winced at the memory as he ran a hand through his messy hair.

"Yes," Sirius grimaced at the memory too, "but this time you know it's for real! It's not like you're going to propose to her!"

James paled.

"Look at what you did!" Remus scolded Sirius and then turned to James, "Don't worry about it. She's going to say yes and you both will be able to go on today's trip to Hogsmeade together."

Sirius grumbled something like, "Geez, Remmy, you're acting like my mother!"

"Look," Sirius turned back to James, "she's your girlfriend, for Merlin's sake!"

"But what if she says no!" asked James, frantically.

"If she does, she'll be very polite and witty about it, and besides, not only being your girlfriend, she's your _best friend_!" Remus finally said, after watching the frantic James sequence unfold for a pretty long while.

To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.

"But she means so much to me! If she says yes, I want this to be perfect!" he looked more frazzled than ever. Poor James, he was stressing over nothing.

"Well, here she comes now. Go ask her!" Sirius encouraged.

-&-

Love is smiling on the inside and out.

Lily smiled as James came to sit next to her at the breakfast table. He smiled back nervously before giving her a kiss on the lips.

"What's up?" she asked, James speared a sausage into his mouth.

"How do you know there's something up?" he teased, before eating another sausage.

"Well, you normally gobble up the food as soon as you reach the table. You also never smile at me during breakfast, unless it's a smirk. You also never eat sausages first thing in the morning, since they give you headaches; you always start with waffles," she said in an informative tone.

"Oh, yeah… I was just wondering," he trailed off, before swiping one of Lily's pancakes.

"Yes?" she encouraged him to go on, which gave him confidence to say the next sentence.

"I was wondering if you'd like to go on today's Hogsmeade trip with me," he said, before turning away to get eggs and not let her see he was kind of embarrassed.

Lily laughed. "Is that all you needed to ask me? Because you know I'd have said yes, _right_?"

"Sure, let's go with that," he said, making Lily raise an eyebrow.

"Seriously James, did you think I was going to say no?" Lily was really amused now.

-&-

Love is a moment that lasts forever...

"Yes! It might have brought up… _that_," he said.

"Oh," she frowned and smiled again, "I've already forgiven you for that! I love you James," her tone grew serious, "and I'd go anywhere with you."

"I love you too," he said grinning at a really weird and random idea.

"Except maybe I wouldn't go to the boys' loo with you though," she added as an afterthought, which led to James' stupid grin to turn into a face of disappointment.

"Darn."

-&-

I love the way you look at me,  
Your eyes so bright and blue.

James and Lily were in the Three Broomsticks, drinking butterbeers. James smiled as he looked at Lily's eyes, which mirrored his own. He loved that feeling and the way she'd look at him, full of love.

"What?" Lily asked, as she stirred the butterbeer and wiped the foam off of James' chin.

"Nothing," he smiled. He wanted to keep this to himself, for now.

"Well, where do you want to go after this?" she asked, as she sipped her butterbeer.

"I was thinking…"

-&-

I love the way you kiss me,  
Your lips so soft and smooth.

They were breathless. James looked at Lily's disheveled appearance. Her hair was all messed up and her clothes weren't in the neat manner she always wore them. Then he finally looked at Lily's lips, which were swollen from their… exercises.

He loved the way her lips always looked so smooth, so soft, and so inviting.

Then James had an idea.

"Let's go to Zonko's!" he exclaimed, running with his hand in hers, as if to tell the whole world, _She's mine._

-&-

_I love the way you make me so happy,  
And the ways you show you care._

He loved the thoughtful little papers he always found on his pillow when she'd wake up before him and not want to disturb him. Those papers always cheered him up and showed she cared.

As they browsed through the aisles of pranks, Lily would often disappear somewhere and then appear again with a new toy. He'd smile and say, "Let's go and buy it!" and then they'd go buying things for their friends.

He'd look so contented and Lily would just silently watch, happy because he was happy.

They loved each other that much.

-&-

_I love the way you say, "I Love You,"  
And the way you're always there._

"I love you," Lily said, as they went through the piles of candy at Honeyduke's. James replied the same, loving the way she'd always say it and actually mean it as much as he did.

He loved when, even when they weren't dating, she'd always be there. Quidditch games, dueling matches (that got them in trouble later) with Slytherins, dates, you could name all of it and she'd be there.

-&-

_I love the way you touch me,  
Always sending chills down my spine._

Her soft, delicate fingers always sent pleasant tingles on his spine and he loved it. She had a big effect on him, though he didn't mind it.

After Honeyduke's, the pair went back to Hogwarts.

"I had a great time," Lily said softly.

"Me too," he agreed, just as softly.

I love that you are with me,  
And glad that you are mine.

James loved the fact he was the one with her. But more than being the one with her…

…He loved the feeling that she was _his_, and nobody else's. Just _his._

-&-

A stranger you were once.  
Then, with a gentle look you took my hand.

James remembered how they met. It was the typical 'weird Muggle thing that resembled a box of sand' meeting. James had been alone, playing in it, making sandcastles as his parents talked to another couple. That couple had been the Evanses, best friend of the Potters, moving in next door.

The woman had urged a little, pale redheaded girl to go and play in the sandbox with James, which of course, the Potters had encouraged for her to do so too. So she had plopped down in the sandbox in her pretty green dress with no care about dirtying it and said, "Hi, I'm Lily."

Of course at that time, James had been intrigued about this girl. She was different. She didn't care about dirtying her clothes like other ones. So he said, "I'm James."

After that, all conversation had died and Lily then shyly looked at him.

With that look, she then took his hand.

And from then on, they had been best friends and were never apart from one another for long.

-&-

As our lives engaged,  
you lit my life and I held both your hands.

Then James and Lily went to the same school. Their separate lives collided into one another and she made his life easier. Now, as he held both of her hands, he merely smiled and shrugged at Lily's questioning stare.

Now that decades have passed,  
our souls have indeed become one.

So many years they had been platonic friends, James mused. And now, even though James didn't know it, their souls would be bound into one.

_How fortunate we are  
that we have found the love so true  
that everyone dreams about._

James believed he was blessed. How lucky he was to have found true love at such a young age. He knew he was lucky because he finally found the one kind of love everybody dreamt about.

-&-

_I wrote your name in the sky,_

Lily whispered to James as they cuddled up to each other that night, "I used to write our names together in the sky but it blew it away…"

_But the wind blew it away._

"Oh well, we can always write it again another day," James whispered back.

_I wrote your name in the sand,_

"And then I wrote it in the sand at the beach when you weren't looking," Lily's breath tickled James' ear.

_But the waves washed it away._

"But then when I came back the next day, it was washed away by the waves," Lily said, before James could ask how could she had written it when he could've seen it.

_I wrote your name in my heart,_

"And _I_ wrote it in my heart so I could forever remember," James admitted and without a hint of a laugh, Lily smiled.

"And it'll be there forever," Lily said, before kissing him.

_And forever it will stay._

-&-

"And now, how would you describe love?" asked James as he tucked her in before covering himself with the blanket.

_Love is the greatest feeling;  
Love is like a play,_

"Oh, love is the best feeling I've ever had," Lily whispered.

"Why are we whispering?" James asked, whispering also.

"I don't want to jinx this feeling," she explained.

_Love is what I feel for you,  
Each and every day,_

"Even during that _thing_, did you hold feelings of resentment and hatred for me?" asked James, "I wouldn't mind if you did."

"Oh, Jamie, even during that, I kept loving you," she admitted, "each day."

-&-

_Love is like a smile,  
Love is like a song,_

"Love's like a smile or a song to me now," Lily confessed.

"To me too," he said, admitted sheepishly. Nobody could ever see this sensitive side of his. Only Lily saw it and that was because she was the only one to bring it out.

_Love is a great emotion,  
That keeps us going strong,_

"It's a great emotion that is like our strength," James said as he hugged Lily closer to him.

_I love you with my heart,  
My body and my soul,_

"I-," James began to say.

"-Love-"

"You," they ended simultaneously.

-&-

_I love the way I keep loving,  
Like a love I can't control,_

To James, loving Lily openly was something very addicting. He couldn't control himself sometimes, when he was around her.

_So remember when your eyes meet mine,  
I love you with all my heart,_

"Just remember I love you and everything will be all right," Lily said sleepily.

"Good night, baby," James said, before going to sleep.

_And from my very heart, I admit I loved you,  
Right from the very start._

When Lily was sure only the winds could've been listening and James was asleep, she whispered drowsily, "I loved you, right from the start when I met you."

But she didn't know James had been listening to her too.

-&-

**A/N- That's the last chapter I'm going to post before you'll have to wait about two weeks each for each chapter. Read and review!**


	15. The Halloween Ball

Love Me For Who I Am By-x. by yours truly 

Chapter 15– The Halloween Ball

-&-

**Disclaimer-All this belongs to me…but there's one problem: I'm not J.K. Rowling so the only things you don't recognize are mine. And also, if I had owned Harry Potter and everything with that, Harry and Hermione would've gotten together, Draco and Ginny, Luna and Ron, Neville and Padma, Blaise and Pansy, Fred and Angelina, George and Alicia, Katie and Oliver, and James and Lily never would've died. Also, there would be no evil little rat named Pettigrew. (And no Tom Riddle, either.)**

-&-

**Thank you to anmoyuns , grannyHPfan, Carmel March and SerenityRose016 for reviewing! Like I said, I'm really sorry about the lengthy time periods you have to wait. Seriously, I _want_ to write, but I'm busy for the few first days of school.**

**Anyway, lol, I want to go to Michigan one day, SerenityRose016. It sounds cool. I like random weather. It's like this one time I went to Connecticut for a car trip and then all of a sudden, rain is pounding hard against the window. We passed another state and then was in Connecticut. All of a sudden, the rain stopped. Lol, I just wanted to say something too. XD**

**So, read and review after reading this, please?**

**I'll be pretty busy because of funeral things, though so forgive me if I update a little later.**

-&-

List of Main Characters (6)

Lily Evans- 17 years old, went to Beauxbatons from 3rd to 6th year, very smart, talented at ballroom dance and modern dance, karate champion, red hair, green eyes, 5' 7", sister is Squib who married Vernon Dursley (another Squib), parents are powerful members of Ministry, sassy, hot (all the boys describe her as that anyway), was Chaser for Beauxbatons and probably will be for Quidditch, an Animagus (doe), Head Girl, pureblood, dating James Potter

James Potter- 17 years old, very smart, talented at ballroom and modern dance (wonderful dance partner to Lily), karate champ, jet-black hair, hazel eyes, only child, parents are friends with Lily's parents, hot (girls describe him like that anyway), is Seeker at Hogwarts and captain for Gryffindor Quidditch team, an Animagus (stag), Head Boy, pureblood, dating Lily Evans

Karma White- 16 years old, best friend of Lily but hasn't seen her for 4 years, strawberry blonde hair that goes to her back, clear blue eyes, dating Sirius Black, 5' 5", Keeper for Gryffindor team, half-blood

Sirius Black- 17 years old, best friend of James but hasn't seen Lily for 4 years like the others, Animagus (black doggie), jet-black hair, chocolate brown eyes, dating the love of his life Karma White, Beater for Gryffindor team. 6' 1", pureblood

Vivienne Langston- 16 years old, best friend of Lily, hasn't seen her for 4 years, werewolf, dark brown hair that goes to middle of back, amethyst purple eyes, 5' 5", Chaser for Gryffindor team, dating Remus Lupin since 6th year's beginning, pureblood

Remus Lupin- 17 years old, best friend of James but hasn't seen Lily for 4 years, werewolf, sandy-colored hair, blue eyes, 6' 3", dating Vivienne Langston since beginning of 6th year's beginning, Chaser for Gryffindor team, half-blood

-&-

Weeks passed by. Girls got jealous of Lily's status with James and boys were jealous of James Potter because he was with Lily, but they got over it. It was now mid-October.

Lily and James were appointed to go and design the Halloween Ball. Lily no longer took the extra credit, wanting to spend time with James (which also made the professors happy because they had absolutely nothing to so when she was grading every paper they had in their possession).

Planning the ball proved to be very difficult. The hardest part was probably the amount of food. With the other prefects, they tried to find a suitable and reasonable amount of food. However, they were constantly reminded Sirius liked to eat and had a big appetite and the girls didn't like to eat that much. And also, there was supposed to be an eating contest due to the fact the seventh year boys liked to show everybody how they ate.

They arranged for the Weird Sisters to play at their school and now they were hanging out with their friends, trying to relax from the stress that had gathered up from planning the ball.

-&-

"So, have you done the dirty deed yet?" asked Sirius, in their dorm with James and Remus.

"No," James said, "of course not!"

"Why not?" he asked curiously.

"Because," James paused, "I'm not the type of person like you are. I don't go say, 'You want to shag, I want to shag, so let's go shag!'"

"Hey!" Sirius protested. "Am I _that_ insensitive?"

"Yes," they all answered back simultaneously.

"Meanies!" Sirius shouted, before a fleet of pillows was carefully thrown at his head.

"Ouch."

-&-

"So have you guys had sex yet?" asked Karma, bluntly.

"Karma!" Vivienne exclaimed, "you weren't supposed to ask like _that_!"

"Oh, yes, you did," Karma retorted, "You said, 'Let's see if Lily already lost _it_ and see who's her first and then if it was James we'd become the- oh, right," Karma paused, when she saw Vivienne signal she had, once again, spoken too much.

Lily was amused. As they pigged out on the food in the girls' dormitory, they had beat around the bush about something she hadn't been sure of till Karma had, once again, spoken too much.

"Well," as she chewed thoughtfully, "I haven't done _it_ yet. James understands I want to keep it slow and we never even got to second base," Lily finished sheepishly.

"I want my first to be, you know, special. I don't only want to feel lust for that special guy. And it should be someone that I won't regret losing it too," Lily explained to the other girls.

"Do you have any idea of who you want it to be, though?" Vivienne finally spoke up, after musing over Lily's words.

"Yes," she blushed.

"Oh my god! Who!" the two other girls squealed.

"James, of course."

Then the girls, except the blushing Lily, exclaimed how romantic it would be for her best friend to 'do the honors.'

-&-

"Seriously, you guys have been dating for a month! Get it on already!" Sirius argued.

"No!" James said, "If Lily wants to go slow, then I'll go slow. And besides… I haven't had a first for _that_ yet," James confessed shamefacedly.

"Why the hell do you want to wait? You don't want to die a virgin!" Sirius said, as the guys sniggered at his last statement.

"Because I want my first to be special. I just don't want it to be lust and/or with the fact my hormones were acting up. I mean, if you only feel lust for the girl, why would you still date her?"

"So you can shag her!" Sirius replied, as if someone was asking him what one plus one was.

The guys cracked up at his answer, before digging into Remus' secret supply of Muggle chips.

"Seriously, Sirius - and don't add that pun – do you really like Karma though?" James asked, after the laughter had finally died down.

"Yes," Sirius answered, as seriously (no pun intended) as one can when having a mouthful of potato chips in his mouth.

"Well, who do you _want_ your first to be then?" asked Remus, after a small silence.

"Lily, of course."

The three two boys laughed at James' love-struck grin and started giving James tips, which he plugged his ears and sang, "LALALALALA! I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"

-&-

"Hi," Lily greeted James at lunch, "how was it relaxing with the guys?"

"Horrible," James shivered (but not before giving Lily a lingering kiss on the lips), "the guys were asking me if we shagged yet."

"Yikes," she lowered her voice down, "the girls were asking about it too."

"I know," he started whispering, "and it was embarrassing!"

"Why are you whispering so softly?" she asked, lowering her voice to a low whisper.

"Because I don't want others to know I'm… a _virgin_," he admitted.

Lily burst into laughter, "That's it!"

"Hey! It's embarrassing," he retaliated.

"So? I'm a virgin," she said, with no hint of awkwardness.

"How do you do that?" he asked incredulously.

"Do what?"

"How can you admit that without being embarrassed?"

"It's not big deal," she shrugged, "To girls, it means a lot because you're supposed to go along with the saying 'No bed till wed'. But for guys, I guess it's embarrassing to still be one." Days passed and before any Hogwarts student knew it, it was the night of _The_ Halloween Ball.

Girls panicked and boys were nervous about setting a good impression for their dates. But like expected, they all got over it.

Our favorite redhead was reading a book, all calm before the dancing. Her costume was going to be Cinderella and James was going to be her Prince Charming.

Lily smiled as she put down _Pride and Prejudice_. It was funny actually, she mused, since she and James had started as friends, began hating each other like Darcy and Elizabeth, became friends again after that tension-filled meeting in the hotel, and finally became lovers.

Oh yes, she thought, we were best friends but we _chose _to be lovers.

And that was what mattered.

-&-

Lily was nervous. The ball was opening in about five minutes and James was going to be late if he was to go open the ball with her. She sighed. The Head Boy and Girl had to share the opening dance. She didn't mind it, but it was kind of annoying about the fact everybody thought she was all about dancing.

James hurried in and admired her dress. She was in a midnight blue gown. It was pretty simple, actually. She didn't go with the complex dresses that they called the "new black".

She smiled quickly at him before taking him by the arm and opening the door to the Great Hall, where the ball was going to be held.

_I can see what's happening  
(What?)  
And they don't have a clue  
(Who?)  
They'll fall in love and here's the bottom line  
Our trio's down to two.  
(Oh.)_

"Aw," Karma cooed and put her head on Sirius' shoulder, "they're falling in love again! How romantic!"

Sirius smiled. "And the funniest thing is they don't have a clue."

On another part of the Great Hall, as Remus and Vivienne watched Lily and James waltz around, Remus beckoned Vivienne to watch the happy couple.

"Look," he whispered, "it's so wonderful the way they love each other."

"Yeah," she whispered back, "but they don't have a clue."

"You know, some of the truest love starts out blind," he quoted, before taking her out to the dance floor.

_(In a sarcastic mock-French accent)  
Ze sweet caress of twilight  
(Back to normal, but still sarcastic)  
There's magic everywhere  
And with all this romantic atmosphere  
Disaster's in the air_

"Ugh!" a girl near Sirius and Karma scoffed. "This isn't right! And they look so sickening together. How are they supposed to be the damn perfect couple?"

Her date commented, "Well, they physically look very good."

And, well, the girl left her date since he, well, hadn't helped her much.

-&-

"It's a disaster!" the girl wailed, unfortunately making her the center of attention.

_Can you feel the love tonight?  
The peace the evening brings  
The world, for once, in perfect harmony  
With all its living things_

Lily and James heard the commotion also, though they pretended they didn't.

"I certainly feel the love tonight," Lily whispered sarcastically to James, who grinned.

"Definitely tranquil and harmonious," he replied, just as sarcastically as Lily had.

_Can you feel the love tonight?  
The peace the evening brings  
The world, for once, in perfect harmony  
With all its living things_

"Lots of loving going around," James said, as he observed the poor girl ripping her hair out.

"Peaceful too," she said, looking out at the dance floor and then at the girl.

"Happy atmosphere," he commented cheerfully as they sped past the enraged girl.

_Can you feel the love tonight?  
You needn't look too far  
Stealing through the night's uncertainties  
Love is where they are_

"It's so lovely tonight," Lily sighed, as she continued to dance with James.

"Yes," he replied.

-&-

The girl was still jealous. "Where are they? They're certainly not in this school!" she exclaimed in an outrage, as she watched them dance with such elegance and poise.

"They're in love, that's what," Sirius said quietly to Karma, answering the girl.

_And if he falls in love tonight  
It can be assumed_

The girl was now quieting down, actually realizing the ruckus she caused. But she had one more thing to say, and she said it to one of her posse members, "If he falls in love tonight, like I mean for _real_…" she trailed off, as if it was a big tragedy.

_His carefree days with us are history_

"…We'll no longer be his Flavors of the Week!"

_In short, our pal is doomed_

"And he'll be doomed?" her friend finished helpfully.

"No!" she raised her hand in exasperation, "Don't you get it? _We'll_ be doomed!"

-&-

Lily was tired at the end of the ball. It was past midnight when they were finally allowed to leave.

James and Lily then walked up to their dorm. They then proceeded to have their nightly snogging session.

The passion was intense.

"But, James," she whined, "I haven't even changed yet!"

"I know," he panted, "but today I can't stop," he said truthfully.

She looked up at his eyes. They were unusually bright and there was a very well hidden layer of his fear of her rejection.

"Then," she said softly, "don't stop," she finished, as if she was teaching kids one plus one was two.

"Are you sure?" he asked nervously. She nodded.

"But what about that 'no bed till wed' thing?" he questioned.

"Silly boy," she kissed him softly, "I save mine for the one I want to have it, because I don't want to regret it."

"But maybe I'm not the one you want," James said.

"Silly boy," she admonished again, "Don't you get it? The one I want to have it is _you_."

-&-

They were two nervous teenagers that night. They went slow, caressing every little move they each made.

As they made love that night, Lily was so grateful for the events that had taken place that night.

They came together that night – both physically and emotionally.

It was like some kind of intuition in them that let them know they had bounded their imperfect souls into one complete soul.

Because he loved her for whom she was, not only for her body, but also for all the flaws she had. And he had lovingly caressed every flaw, and she gave him all her love.

-&-

_Love me for who I am, not for who I am not._

-&-

And that was exactly what James did.

-&-

**A/N- Well, I hope you guys don't mind I, well, updated earlier than expected. **

**I have limited time on the computer, so here you go!**


	16. Dates

Love Me For Who I Am By-x. by yours truly 

Chapter 16– Dates

-&-

**Disclaimer-All this belongs to me…but there's one problem: I'm not J.K. Rowling so the only things you don't recognize are mine. And also, if I had owned Harry Potter and everything with that, Harry and Hermione would've gotten together, Draco and Ginny, Luna and Ron, Neville and Padma, Blaise and Pansy, Fred and Angelina, George and Alicia, Katie and Oliver, and James and Lily never would've died. Also, there would be no evil little rat named Pettigrew. (And no Tom Riddle, either.)**

-&-

**Thank you to haydenrocks14, Drunk Cow, grannyHPfan, and SerenityRose016 for reviewing that chapter! You can either add that crazy screaming girl from the previous chapter to 'red herring' or 'important to the story' because I'm not going to tell you which one.**

**I'm going to make it a goal to visit all 50 states of the USA, regardless of their weather, history, and geographical features. I mean, if you live in the USA and haven't seen all 50 states, what's the point of living here?**

**I also would like to thank these reviewers for the positive feedback! I _love_ to write. I just have to fit that into five days of regular school, one day of Saturday school _&_ piano lessons, and one free day I need for completing what I haven't finished for weekday school.**

**And that's not the only problem though. (Sigh) My family doesn't approve of me writing. My dad is a little more supportive, but he worries that me being an author, as a living won't work. But of course, who knows? My mom actually thinks I should write books on psychology…**

**All I know is that I'm going to keep on writing, even though my family doesn't like it since it sometimes makes me want to… skive off of my homework and stuff.**

**So, just wait and have patience so I can deal with my life so I can get back to the one that doesn't exist.**

**And, when I'm a little older, I might just rewrite the story a little bit. I want to make it better since I feel the dialogue in the first chapters weren't… connecting. They were pretty crappy, I admit.**

**I often just read what the James Potter in my story says are 'trashy romance novels' (you know, the ones with those minor, cute fluffy scenes in the end before the main character realizes the one they want is right in front of them) and look at their styles of writing to see what I can do. I like to experiment, though it's not much progress yet.**

**So read and review?**

-&-

List of Main Characters (6)

Lily Evans- 17 years old, went to Beauxbatons from 3rd to 6th year, very smart, talented at ballroom dance and modern dance, karate champion, red hair, green eyes, 5' 7", sister is Squib who married Vernon Dursley (another Squib), parents are powerful members of Ministry, sassy, hot (all the boys describe her as that anyway), was Chaser for Beauxbatons and probably will be for Quidditch, an Animagus (doe), Head Girl, pureblood, dating James Potter

James Potter- 17 years old, very smart, talented at ballroom and modern dance (wonderful dance partner to Lily), karate champ, jet-black hair, hazel eyes, only child, parents are friends with Lily's parents, hot (girls describe him like that anyway), is Seeker at Hogwarts and captain for Gryffindor Quidditch team, an Animagus (stag), Head Boy, pureblood, dating Lily Evans

Karma White- 16 years old, best friend of Lily but hasn't seen her for 4 years, strawberry blonde hair that goes to her back, clear blue eyes, dating Sirius Black, 5' 5", Keeper for Gryffindor team, half-blood

Sirius Black- 17 years old, best friend of James but hasn't seen Lily for 4 years like the others, Animagus (black doggie), jet-black hair, chocolate brown eyes, dating the love of his life Karma White, Beater for Gryffindor team. 6' 1", pureblood

Vivienne Langston- 16 years old, best friend of Lily, hasn't seen her for 4 years, werewolf, dark brown hair that goes to middle of back, amethyst purple eyes, 5' 5", Chaser for Gryffindor team, dating Remus Lupin since 6th year's beginning, pureblood

Remus Lupin- 17 years old, best friend of James but hasn't seen Lily for 4 years, werewolf, sandy-colored hair, blue eyes, 6' 3", dating Vivienne Langston since beginning of 6th year's beginning, Chaser for Gryffindor team, half-blood

-&-

James was nervous… _again_. He had to tell Lily about a sudden change of plans on their date and he knew Lily didn't like changes.

Or did she?

After four years of not seeing one another, she seemed changed somehow.

And then how about when they first met at the hotel after such a long period of separation? She seemed so nonchalant, so calm, so controlled.

But now it was like she had an alter ego! She was a little girl. She was so mature at times, yet so deliciously childish at others. He always looked forward to their lighthearted whimsical conversations that took place at night. She would always be so silly, always giving him ridiculous lovesick smiles.

It made James feel he needed to protect the little girl Lily and help support the mature one all the time. He was the strong, down-to-earth part of the relationship. Lily was the one who made him forget about his problems by always getting him to have fun. She had the silliest advice, yet the most useful and sensible.

And it made him feel important.

-&-

Ever since they had made love, she seemed more like a little girl than ever. Before, she was always so jumpy. Always fidgeting, so nervous.

So stressed.

So worried.

Now she was relaxed.

He didn't know about what she had worried about. But he knew that before this, he knew he was pretty sure, but not certain, he really loved her and vice versa. He always thought it was love, but when they were in their most heated snogging sessions, he would try to convince himself it wasn't a classic case of lust.

If it had been lust, James mused, they probably would have had a 'friends with benefits' kind of relationship. But even if he found himself wanting his best friend really badly and wasn't dating her, he wouldn't have proposed this to her, whether or not she wanted him. That idea included him using her for his own selfish physical needs.

He didn't like using people. And even though that relationship would have let Lily take care of _her_ physical needs, he knew it wouldn't feel right.

But he was glad he didn't have to worry about that.

We're together already; James admonished himself, so stop worrying about that!

-&-

Yes, when you're feeling lost in the night  
When you feel your world just ain't right

It was so funny, Lily mused, as she thought of her boyfriend. It was hard to believe only six weeks ago she had climbed into James' bed when they hadn't been dating and she had felt lonely.

Lonely.

That word was one she'd prefer not to think about. It connected to her experiences at Beauxbatons and she didn't want to live them again.

_Call on me, I will be waiting  
Count on me, I will be there_

No one had been able to help her during that time, no matter how many word of reassurance and comfort her friends gave. James had given none, because they had a nasty falling out the last day she had been at Hogwarts during third year.

_Anytime the times get too tough  
Any time your best ain't enough_

She had been left with mental bruises all over. It had been too tough for her to handle on her own.

But she survived, though mentally wounded.

The scars were still there.

_I'll be the one to make it better  
I'll be there to protect you, see you through  
I'll be there, and there is nothing, I won't do_

But then she returned to Hogwarts, and James was there. He began to protect her and she was grateful for it.

-&-

_I will cross the ocean for you  
I will go and bring you the moon_

"I'll do anything for you," Lily climbed up the bed to the black-haired boy, who was merely just smiling.

"Me, too," he said softly.

_I will be your hero, your strength, anything you need  
I will be the sun in your sky_

"And I'll be your hero," he added.

"Oh, you don't need to be my hero."

"And I ask why?"

"You already are."

-&-

_I will light your way for all time, promise you  
For you I will, yes yeah, yeah_

"I'll do anything. Just for you," Lily smiled.

"_Any_thing?" James teased.

"James, you know what I mean."

"As a matter of fact I do. I think it means we snog and then go shag in McGonagall's off-"

"James!"

_I will shield your heart from the rain  
I won't let no harm come your way  
Oh, these arms will be your shelter  
No, these arms won't let you down  
If there is a mountain to move  
I will move that mountain for you_

"I'll support you, wherever you go," James said, his tone serious. He wrapped his arms around Lily's waist and then whispered, "Sleepy yet?"

"Nope," Lily said, though her 'nope' was caught with her yawn.

_I'm here for you, I'm here forever  
I will be your fortress, tall and strong  
I'll keep you safe,  
I'll stand beside you, right or wrong_

"I want to be with you like this forever," Lily said, before giving him a small peck on the nose.

"Aw… no shagging?" he teasingly whined.

"James! Why are you talking about that again?" she said, pretending to be exasperated.

He shrugged.

"Because I'm a seventeen year old boy. I've got hormones."

"… Right."

_For you I will, lay my life on the line  
For you I will fight, oooooh_

"I love you," she sighed.

"I love you more. So there, I said it," James stuck his tongue out at her.

_For you I will die  
With every breath, with all my soul_

"Hell, I'll even die for you," James said.

"But if you die, I'll be very sad," Lily pretended to look sad.

James smiled. "I'll always be in your memories."

"I'll cry over you for forty days," Lily continued on, as if she hadn't heard what he said.

"Why forty?"

"It's a religious thing."

"Aw, _only_ forty?"

"Fine, I'll cry over you for forty-one days. Happy?"

"Very. But if I die, I don't think I can live with that."

"Why?"

"Because I wouldn't be able to shag you if I became a ghost."

"James!"

"What?"

"Must you always think about shagging?"

James thought seriously for a moment and then said, "Yes."

Lily shook her head.

"Boys these days…"

"Oh, and the things you do for them every time," James added.

"Yeah," she sighed again.

"Boys."

_I will let you wait for all times  
Promise you (I promise you)  
For you I will (Ooooh)  
I promise you  
For you I will_

-&-

"Lily?" James peered over her shoulder.

She smiled. "Yes?"

"We have changes for our Hogsmeade date…"

"What changes?"

She didn't even flinch, he observed.

"We're not going alone."

"With…?"

"Karma, Sirius, Remus, and Vivienne," he replied, rolling them off in one breath.

"Oh, okay then," she replied. "So we're still for the Three Broomsticks?"

"Yep."

And that was that.

-&-

"Well," Lily said, after looking at the other five faces at the crowded table, "this is awkward."

They had arrived there and sat in silence, with the exception of Sirius blowing bubbles in his butterbeer.

They murmured in agreement.

"Ooh! I know!" Sirius exclaimed all of a sudden.

"What?" Remus asked.

"We could talk about-" Sirius began.

"No, Padfoot. You're not going to ask them all if they're really lesbian or gay."

"How about-"

"You're not going to ask James or Lily if their first was really kinky."

"What about-"

"You're not going to share your kinkiest adventures with Karma." Karma modestly reddened.

"How does Remus do that?" whispered Lily to James.

"Believe me, he just _knows_," James whispered back as they watched every other suggestion of Sirius' get rejected by Remus.

-&-

"Can we talk about how we got together?" asked Sirius exasperatedly (his very last and first suitable idea), after he was tired of his every vulgar idea rejected.

Remus was about to say no until he paused and said, "That's actually a great idea! Who goes first?"

"Ooh! Remus and I do!" Vivienne shouted, after smiling at her boyfriend.

"Okay then," Lily said, "start."

-&-

"And _yes_, _Remmy_, we are going to make you get out of that denying fact. You _are_ a hopeless romantic!" Vivienne exclaimed.

Remus groaned.

_Vivienne was sitting by the lake, looking at the flowers. She had recently come from reading another letter of Lily's and was thinking about Lily's way-more-complicated-than-the-average-magical-fifteen-year-old problems._

_So she did what she always did to make her feel better: think about Remus._

_Remus was a friend. An acquaintance, to be more accurate, since she didn't know him very well._

_However, she had developed quite a crush on this good-looking boy. Even more, Remus was a gentleman._

_He helped her when she asked, always was courteous to everybody, and never made advances on her even when they were alone._

_She always thought he was the perfect one. _

_But she knew he had a flaw: he was a werewolf._

_But she didn't care. She _was_ a werewolf also, after all._

_She twisted a flower's stem, which was still attached to the earth and its flowery petals, and started picturing his face. She was quite artistic, actually and found his eyes to be most enchanting. They were always so sensible, so down-to-earth, yet there always seemed to be a glimmer of mischief in those sparkling pupils. She wondered how she would paint it. Then she pictured his hair. It was straight towards the end but in the front, it always seemed messy. And it made him look tired._

_Then she had an idea._

"_He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not…" Vivienne murmured to herself._

"_He loves you," a voice answered, after a hand pulled off the last petal._

_Without looking, she knew who he was._

_She knew that voice._

_How many times had she heard this voice? She didn't remember an exact amount but she knew it was-_

"_Remus!" she cried happily, before throwing her arms around him and kissing him._

_It was the first time Remus showed he could be quite 'damn aggressive'._

-&-

"All right, Remus scored!" Sirius pumped his hand in the air.

Five butterbeer cups were thrown.

"And I think it's our time to share," Karma noticed.

"I don't think we need to share ours," Lily said, as she ruffled up James' undeniably messy hair, "since you all heard about it…"

So Sirius and Karma's story commenced.

-&-

"See, one day, in fifth year (toward the end), Karma noticed I hadn't dated for about a month. It all started when we were walking down the corridor…"

_Sirius and Karma were walking down the corridor. Naturally, they held a conversation. Quite strikingly odd, in fact. It almost seemed like Karma had a certain motive in mind…_

"_You haven't dated for a month already," Karma observed._

"_I know," Sirius said._

"_Why?"_

"_That's for me to know and you to never find out."_

"_I could always ask Slughorn for that truth serum of his…"_

"_I'd rather you not, because I don't think you'd like to hear about my 'adventures' previous this year?" he raised an eyebrow suggestively._

"_Gross."_

"_As if you didn't have 'adventures' either."_

"_Fine. Touché, Black. Touché." _

_They both continued to talk about various things until Karma hit on a very startling and inaccurate conclusion._

"_You're gay!" Karma exclaimed._

_Sirius stopped talking and said, "W-w-w-what?"_

"_Of course you're gay! No wonder you haven't been dating lately."_

_Sirius suddenly slammed Karma against the wall and his warm, strong, masculine body._

"_So you say I'm gay, eh?" he asked huskily before crashing his lips on hers…_

-&-

"And that's what happened," Sirius said.

"Wow. I'm not surprised you described yourself as 'strong and masculine'." Lily finally said.

"Ooh, is that a diss?"

"Are you questioning me?"

"Bring it on, Evans!" Sirius jokingly flung a candy at her, which she retaliated.

"You know, we snogged for a long time before he asked me out," Karma grinned.

"My lips were sore after it," she added.

"Oh yeah? My lips were _bruised_ from the assault for a week," Lily said in an accusatory tone. "Remember when you guys kept asking me how my lips got so beat up and I didn't tell you?"

"Well, _sorry_, it's not my fault I'm such a damn good kisser," James shot back jokingly.

-&-

Lily sighed openly, before laying her head onto James' shoulder.

"Do boys _always_ think with their libido…?" she questioned.

The four boys sitting at the cramped table opened their mouths to reply.

"… Don't answer that."

-&-

**A/N- LOL, I had a great time writing this chapter. So maybe you guys and girls will review too…?**


	17. Four Months

Love Me For Who I Am By-x. by yours truly 

Chapter 17– Four Months

-&-

**Disclaimer-All this belongs to me…but there's one problem: I'm not J.K. Rowling so the only things you don't recognize are mine. And also, if I had owned Harry Potter and everything with that, Harry and Hermione would've gotten together, Draco and Ginny, Luna and Ron, Neville and Padma, Blaise and Pansy, Fred and Angelina, George and Alicia, Katie and Oliver, and James and Lily never would've died. Also, there would be no evil little rat named Pettigrew. (And no Tom Riddle, either.)**

-&-

**Thank you to Greekchic (for the 15th chapter), hpisthegreatest, grannyHPfan, Drunk Cow, szabatza2, Khophey, Asian-Novelist, Carmel March, HazelGreenEyes and Whitelight72 for reviewing! I love you all! So many reviews… this is pretty successful for my first chapter fanfic.**

**As you see, I changed the format for the story, I also rewrote some bits, like Lily now has no powers, Frank and Alice are older and have graduated, and their heights and such are different.**

**Just to let you know, I'm not going to write the sequels to this story. (Cringe) I apologize, but I don't think I can work on sequels right now. Lily/James is my main pairing and the Marauders' Era would be the era I work in most, so I don't think I want to endure so much torture writing about pairings I love reading about, though not so often _writing _about.**

**_And_ I'm going to update every 3 weeks, from now on, since I'm already behind work.**

-&-

List of Main Characters (6)

Lily Evans- 17 years old, went to Beauxbatons from 3rd to 6th year, very smart, talented at ballroom dance and modern dance, karate champion, red hair, green eyes, 5' 7", sister is Squib who married Vernon Dursley (another Squib), parents are powerful members of Ministry, sassy, hot (all the boys describe her as that anyway), was Chaser for Beauxbatons and probably will be for Quidditch, an Animagus (doe), Head Girl, pureblood, dating James Potter

James Potter- 17 years old, very smart, 6'1", talented at ballroom and modern dance (wonderful dance partner to Lily), karate champ, jet-black hair, hazel eyes, only child, parents are friends with Lily's parents, hot (girls describe him like that anyway), is Seeker at Hogwarts and captain for Gryffindor Quidditch team, an Animagus (stag), Head Boy, pureblood, dating Lily Evans

Karma White- 16 years old, best friend of Lily but hasn't seen her for 4 years, strawberry blonde hair that goes to her back, clear blue eyes, dating Sirius Black, 5' 5", Keeper for Gryffindor team, half-blood

Sirius Black- 17 years old, best friend of James but hasn't seen Lily for 4 years like the others, Animagus (black doggie), jet-black hair, chocolate brown eyes, dating the love of his life Karma White, Beater for Gryffindor team. 6' 1", pureblood

Vivienne Langston- 16 years old, best friend of Lily, hasn't seen her for 4 years, werewolf, dark brown hair that goes to middle of back, amethyst purple eyes, 5' 5", Chaser for Gryffindor team, dating Remus Lupin since 6th year's beginning, pureblood

Remus Lupin- 17 years old, best friend of James but hasn't seen Lily for 4 years, werewolf, sandy-colored hair, blue eyes, 6' 3", dating Vivienne Langston since beginning of 6th year's beginning, Chaser for Gryffindor team, half-blood

-&-

James smirked at the sight of Lily, as she walked by in the hall. She had gone to the girls' lavatory and was going to meet James there. She looked like the perfect 'good girl' though he knew she wasn't.

_That's the thing with _people, James thought,_ it's always the quiet ones who are most surprising..._

-&-

"It's our fourth month anniversary and I don't know what to get her!" exclaimed James to the other four in a very desperate manner. Lily was tutoring some kids in Charms, so he didn't have to make sure she wasn't eavesdropping on their conversation.

He decided to enlist his friends' help on it.

"A new bag," claimed Karma.

"It's too unoriginal and doesn't she always get them first?"

"Give her a book," recommended Remus.

"Doesn't she have many already?" asked James.

"Get her a promise ring," voiced Vivienne.

"I like that idea," the black-haired boy grinned.

"Give her booze," suggested Sirius.

This brought all four's gazes on him.

"What?" Sirius questioned, looking around, "What's wrong with it?"

They ignored him.

-&-

"So you throw a party _and_ give her a ring?" questioned Remus.

"Yeah," he said. "I have it right here."

Then he showed the ring to all of them.

It was stunning. The ring's jewels consisted of amethysts and tiny diamonds. The sparkling amethysts surrounded the ring itself with the diamonds encrusted around the sides.

"It must have been expensive," Remus commented.

"It's beautiful," Vivienne complimented.

"Thanks," James said nervously. "Do you think she'll like it?"

"Of course she will! Have you lost your mind? I mean, I can be stupid at times," the others raised an eyebrow at Sirius, "okay, _all _the time, but even I can tell she'll love it!"

-&-

Lily panted, physically tired and very surprised at what happened. She looked at James, who had a posture and aura of nonchalance, not believing they had in fact just _shagged in McGonagall's classroom_.

James reached over and hugged her, as she relished being in his warmth.

She vaguely remembered a few things, like today was their fourth month anniversary, but that was it.

Her mind was blank.

"That must have been the quickest shag in history," Lily raised an eyebrow.

"Want to go for an even quicker one…?" she asked.

James happily took the hint and willingly obliged to make love to her for the second time in "Minnie's" classroom.

-&-

As Lily and James were doing 'other things', their four friends helped prepare the surprise party.

James had wanted to occupy Lily so she wouldn't come in too early. This was a good thing, since Sirius didn't get the concept that streamers were supposed to go on the walls as decorations, not as really cheap scarves around a person's neck.

"No, Sirius!" Karma looked at her boyfriend, annoyed.

"What? We're not allowed to bring her firewhiskey as drinks?"

"Of course not, Padfoot," Vivienne mocked his 'nickname', "we promised no liquor."

"Hey!" Sirius looked very offended, "I think Padfoot is a great name."

"Everybody does," Remus assured him uncertainly, "but we need to go and hurry up decorating the Gryffindor common room. I don't think James would like it to see the room completely devoid of decorations."

"What does 'devoid' mean?"

None of them bothered to answer him.

-&-

"Where are we going?" asked a blindfolded Lily to a grinning James.

"Sh… Just trust me," he replied, "I swear you'll love it."

The redhead was blindly led to the common room and when the portrait opened to the room, the blindfold went off and the noise level was on.

"SURPRISE!" exclaimed all the Gryffindors, years six and seven.

"Oh my gosh!" she squealed.

She turned to James, "You actually planned this for our fourth anniversary?"

"Of course I did, darling," he smiled. "I'd do anything for you."

"C'mon people! Let's eat!" shouted Sirius.

They laughed and willingly agreed.

-&-

_A dream is a wish your heart makes  
When you're fast asleep_

"Come here, I want to show you something," James beckoned to Lily.

"But it's getting late," she protested.

"I'm sure we'll be exempted from that curfew. After all, McGonagall lost the bet to Dumbledore," he supplied.

She laughed. She hoped this dream would go on forever.

_In dreams you lose your heartaches  
Whatever you wish for, you keep_

How many times had she dreamt of this?

How many times had she wanted this?

How many times had she cried herself to sleep with such a throbbing heartache, wishing for this moment?

It never occurred to this girl it could happen.

_It's a miracle_.

_Have faith in your dreams and someday  
Your rainbow will come smiling through_

She had hope and faith for this to happen.

She smiled as she remembered the rainbow before the Bludger crashed into her arms, which led to them kissing.

Remembering that song from that Muggle movie, _Cinderella_, she subconsciously took it as a sign for a good thing to happen.

_No matter how your heart is grieving  
If you just keep believing  
The dream that you wish will come true_

She had never cried over breakups. In fact, she hadn't cried for four years.

She only cried over James Potter during those years.

But even then, she had to tell herself he wasn't worth his tears.

_A dream is a wish your heart makes  
When you're feeling small._

Her friends would comfort her through their letters. They told her a dream was a wish a heart makes.

So Lily dreamed.

When she was feeling insignificant, she did nothing.

She only dreamed in that school.

Others called her weird.

Professors were impressed with her widespread intelligence.

Even with all this, she only dreamed.

_Alone in the night you whisper  
Think no one can hear at all._

Her solitary figure was often sneaking out of her room to her favorite part of Beauxbatons – the tower. The tower was old and had impressive history. It had been rumored Juliet Capulet and Romeo Montague had once met in this same spot where the tower was still standing.

She'd whisper to the stars, hoping nobody would hear her as she whispered, _"Will James Potter ever love me?"_

She didn't know but somebody did.

Someone named Fate had heard.

_You wake with morning sunlight to find fortune that smile on you.  
Don't let your heart be filled with sorrow_

She often smiled during those days.

How excited she had been, when the Headmistress announced she was to be transferred – back to Hogwarts.

Even when the girls sneered and snubbed at her, she smiled.

She would see him again.

_For almost in tomorrow the dream you wish will come true._

How nonchalant she had appeared when they met again.

She had delayed their encounter, because she didn't want to be reminded of what he did to her.

She was an emotionally strong person, yes, but when it came to love, she was vulnerable.

The only way to describe her heart, Karma and Vivienne joked, was to use that saying, 'Don't play with my paper heart, you'll break it'.

But they all knew it was true.

_The dream is a wish your heart makes  
The dream is a wish your heart makes_

"Look!" James exclaimed as they flew into the air, breaking Lily's reverie.

"It's beautiful," she sighed. The aerial view made this more mystical.

She wondered if this was a dream and she'd wake up back to the snobby girls again.

She hoped she wouldn't.

_You wake with the morning sunlight to find fortune that smile on you.  
Don't let your heart be filled with sorrow_

"Lily," James began, "I have something to give you."

He landed them in front of the lake. She marveled at the moon's reflection as she waited in anticipation.

He brought open the ring.

"It's… stunning," she whispered. "I love it, thank you."

_For almost in tomorrow the dream you wish will come true.  
No matter how your heart is grieving_

"Oh! I almost forgot, I have something for you too," Lily brought out a small circular object.

When she brought the moonlight on it, James realized it was a snitch.

She let it fly and James caught it.

When he did, he noticed there was also a note on it.

_Whenever you catch this snitch, always remember this was how you (literally) caught my heart. I love you! – Lily _

"Thank you," he then kissed her.

_If you just keep believing  
The dream that you wish will come true_

Later that night, as James was sleeping, Lily crept out of her bed and walked to the window.

She stared at the stars.

"Oh, yes, thank you! I _do_ believe!" she whispered to the night sky.

"Thank you, for making my dreams come true."

-&-

Fate smiled at the young, innocent girl who was thanking her. Nobody did thank her anymore these days.

"She is properly named," was all she said to the other gods and goddesses.

She just observed their confused expressions.

It was all in a day's work.

-&-

**A/N – I hope you liked it. I especially loved the song, since it's one of the classics from Disney. **

**Hopefully, my skills at writing romances like these are getting better.**

**Review please!**


	18. Surprise

Love Me For Who I Am By-x. by yours truly 

Chapter 18– Surprise

-&-

**Disclaimer-All this belongs to me…but there's one problem: I'm not J.K. Rowling so the only things you don't recognize are mine. And also, if I had owned Harry Potter and everything with that, Harry and Hermione would've gotten together, Draco and Ginny, Luna and Ron, Neville and Padma, Blaise and Pansy, Fred and Angelina, George and Alicia, Katie and Oliver, and James and Lily never would've died. Also, there would be no evil little rat named Pettigrew. (And no Tom Riddle, either.)**

-&-

**Thank you to Potter and Co., grannyHPfan, RSaddict, Your Worst Nightmare, Drunk Cow, Super Cara, and Asian-Novelist for reviewing the previous chapter!**

**However, you might be suspicious of something at the end… and it might lead to further in the plot. (And the plot is pretty simple, since this is my first fic. I like to keep things simple at first.)**

-&-

List of Main Characters (6)

Lily Evans- 17 years old, went to Beauxbatons from 3rd to 6th year, very smart, talented at ballroom dance and modern dance, karate champion, red hair, green eyes, 5' 7", sister is Squib who married Vernon Dursley (another Squib), parents are powerful members of Ministry, sassy, hot (all the boys describe her as that anyway), was Chaser for Beauxbatons and probably will be for Quidditch, an Animagus (doe), Head Girl, pureblood, dating James Potter

James Potter- 17 years old, very smart, 6'1", talented at ballroom and modern dance (wonderful dance partner to Lily), karate champ, jet-black hair, hazel eyes, only child, parents are friends with Lily's parents, hot (girls describe him like that anyway), is Seeker at Hogwarts and captain for Gryffindor Quidditch team, an Animagus (stag), Head Boy, pureblood, dating Lily Evans

Karma White- 16 years old, best friend of Lily but hasn't seen her for 4 years, strawberry blonde hair that goes to her back, clear blue eyes, dating Sirius Black, 5' 5", Keeper for Gryffindor team, half-blood

Sirius Black- 17 years old, best friend of James but hasn't seen Lily for 4 years like the others, Animagus (black doggie), jet-black hair, chocolate brown eyes, dating the love of his life Karma White, Beater for Gryffindor team. 6' 1", pureblood

Vivienne Langston- 16 years old, best friend of Lily, hasn't seen her for 4 years, werewolf, dark brown hair that goes to middle of back, amethyst purple eyes, 5' 5", Chaser for Gryffindor team, dating Remus Lupin since 6th year's beginning, pureblood

Remus Lupin- 17 years old, best friend of James but hasn't seen Lily for 4 years, werewolf, sandy-colored hair, blue eyes, 6' 3", dating Vivienne Langston since beginning of 6th year's beginning, Chaser for Gryffindor team, half-blood

-&-

_Within the first few moments  
I knew I was yours_

Lily scanned the letter her parents sent. She was so engrossed in it, she didn't notice when her boyfriend came up behind her and exclaimed, "BOO!"

She literally jumped a mile (maybe it's a meter or something… I'm using American measurements) in the air and automatically screamed, "Evaporate tall person!" (**A/N – Sorry, I just had to include that. :) I just watched HSM…**)

"So what's the letter about, Lils?" he questioned, before snatching the envelope out of her hands.

"Hey! Give me that!"

Of course, since our favorite black-haired hazel-eyed boy was so tall, the short redhead was unable to reach it.

"Then give me a kiss," he stubbornly said. "A kiss for your mail back."

She sighed, pretending she didn't like the deal. "Fine…"

_Within the first few hours  
I embraced your sweet kiss._

Lily gave him a peck on the mouth, entwining their hands, which led to some full blown-out snogging.

Lily sighed.

_The letter can wait_.

-&-

"Wait a minute. You're saying our parents want to meet who we're currently dating?" he questioned.

"Yes, did you _not_ hear me the first time?" Lily asked, pretending to be annoyed, as she speared the sausage. (Sirius grabbed it from her plate and she didn't go and try to get another one, since she had a feeling if Sirius wasn't going to steal her food, then one of her other friends would.)

"So where's the reservation?"

_Every second after that first  
I dream of you._

"I think it's at the new Italian restaurant. The one with the Italian name meaning 'Red Crab' or something…"

"Well, I don't want to tell my parents I'm dating you at first. If you get what I mean…" Lily trailed off, as James began to grin wickedly.

"Oh, yep. Let's have a little fun with our parents, shall we?"

-&-

"Hi, Mrs. and Mr. Potter!" Lily cheerfully greeted the said parents as the six (the three Evanses and the three Potters) sat down in the fancy restaurant.

"Yes, hi," Mrs. Potter gave a distracted hello as she questioned, "Where are the ones in your relationships?"

_Every day passing that first  
I hope to spend with you._

"Oh, _right_," James winked at Lily as she said; "they're… coming…" she trailed off, as if to give them a vague indication that they were going to be late.

"Well, dear, can you describe Lily's boyfriend?" Mrs. Evans asked James. He smirked as he began. Lily groaned as if she said –

_Oh boy, James is going to have a field day with _this_, and he better not give his ego a large inflation!_

-&-

"Okay," James began his description and opinion of Lily's 'boyfriend', "He's tall."

As the others watched the waiters place heaping plates of spaghetti on the table, "He's also playing Quidditch."

"Which house?" asked Mr. Evans, as he speared a meatball.

_True love dreams do come true  
The dream I have to live with you._

"Gryffindor." It was Lily who spoke this time. She gave James a warning look as if to say, _Don't be specific! Be vague!_

"He's also got black hair. I think that's the only description I have of him…" James hurriedly concluded, when Lily elbowed him in the ribs.

Lily inwardly groaned.

"Oh, and I've heard her, White, and Langston squealing 'Oh, he has the most beautiful, shiniest hazel eyes!' Quite the high note, Lils has here, eh?" James pretended to chuckle and they proceeded to finish devouring the pasta.

-&-

"Lily, hon, why don't you tell us about James' girlfriend," suggested Mrs. Potter. The other three nodded in agreement, trying to hide they were disappointed their children had not fallen in love with one another.

She discreetly smirked at James. Ooh, she was going to have some fun with this.

James wondered what she was thinking.

-&-

"Well, she's really kind. She also doesn't take any of James' bullshit," Lily's eyes widened, "Whoops, sorry about my language, mum."

"She's got these green eyes and I've heard Sirius and Remus try to help James stop hyperventilating because he was so nervous she would refuse his invitation on a date to Hogsmeade."

"I do _not_ hyperventilate!"

"R_i_ght, son," Mr. Potter jokingly punched James in the shoulder. "And you kissed her in the middle of the corridors when she had a broken arm."

Little did he know, his son actually did.

-&-

Mr. Evans checked the time.

"Where are they?"

"And you haven't told us their names!" Mrs. Evans realized.

Lily and James exchanged a Look.

They knew it was safe to play a little longer before announcing it out.

"Their names…" James repeated.

"I thought we told you," Lily pretended to be confused.

"Well, you didn't," Mr. Potter said. "Why are you two looking at each other like that?"

"It looks like you're hiding something," Mrs. Evans said to her daughter.

"Why would you think that?" Lily asked her mum nervously.

"Well, you're fidgeting and you keep on looking at James in a weird sort of way," her father answered for his wife.

-&-

"Well, James," Lily said, before embracing him, "our game is up."

_True hope of everlasting love  
With the promises made after just the first hug._

"What is going on?" Mrs. Potter demanded.

"Well, you see…" Lily started to tell the story.

_With all that I have  
I am willing to give._

"And that's why they're late," James concluded.

James then winked and pretended to look at his watch. In reality, he was calling Lily's Muggle fellytone, or whatever it was with his own.

Lily heard her 'fellytone' and answered it, pretending the others had been speaking on the phone with her.

"Oh, you're here now? But dear, you're very late! Oh. Oh, oh, okay. I'll be out in a few minutes," with that, Lily shut her phone and said, "They're here now."

"Good," Mr. Potter said, trying not to crack a smile. "I'm curious at how one can get stuck in – what was it you called again – oh right the _elevator_ because of a container of ketchup."

-&-

James and Lily pretended to 'walk' out of the restaurant and come back in. When they reached the table again, the parents' confused expressions were of complete bewilderment.

"Wh – "

"_Mum_, this is my boyfriend, James Potter."

And…

"Mum, Dad, this is my _girlfriend_, Lily Evans."

Their parents were rendered speechless.

-&-

_The greatest thing you'll ever learn  
Is to love and be loved in return._

In the comfort of the dark room on the day of Christmas, Lily giggled softly.

"Do you think we tricked our mums and dads pretty well?"

James tried to get out of their current position, which was Lily lying on top of James as they sat on the couch with a blanket covering them. But it was so cozy and warm as he sat there, so he gave up. Lily's weight on his was pretty comfortable, anyway.

"Yes," he laughed as softly as Lily did, "our parents were quite surprised."

-&-

During Christmas vacation, Lily and James made new 'conquests' and were able to succeed in doing 'it' in almost every room of their houses.

Lily would laugh thinking about their escapades, and James would just have a hint of a smile.

-&-

When it was time to go back to Hogwarts, they were both sad but not sorry to go. After all, it was going to be their last year there.

Lily dearly missed Karma and Vivienne, even though she had not been a very close friend with Karma before. She hoped Karma had not been staying with her family, and with her boyfriend or Vivienne, since winter vacation was supposed to be a happy time of year.

The redhead would often sigh when she remembered their biggest argument in their year.

-&-

"_Why are you so angry with me? I told you I would be with Vivienne!" Lily glared at Karma. Karma had recently become Vivienne and Lily's new dorm mate and friend._

"_Well, it's because we never hang out together! You're always with Vivienne! And you were one of my first friends at Hogwarts! Friends always hang out with each other, never keeping secrets away from one another! It's like you're avoiding me. Why?" Karma's voice grew higher at her last words._

"_I don't know you very well! I – "_

"_It's because we NEVER are able to communicate. I would love to tell you about me but you're always rushing somewhere!" Karma's voice seemed to ring out with pain. She was usually a calm person, but now Lily could see the turbulent waves of emotions in her usually clear blue eyes._

"_I – "_

"_No, don't talk. I'm going to talk and you're going to listen," Karma took a deep breath and the said, "Now you will know why I don't talk about my life outside of Hogwarts."_

_Lily could only be quiet and she nodded._

"_I come from a fucked-up family. My 'father' isn't even my real father. He ignores me and the only times we talk are when he shouts at me to go to bed. My 'mum' is worse. She's my biological mother, but I am the result of a one-night stand. They only care about my half-sister, who is fully pureblood and a bitch."_

_Karma then started to cry._

"_My mum _didn't _want me. When she found out she was pregnant with me, she wanted to have an abortion. When my biological father – whom I know only his initials, TMR – found out about me, he tried to get her to stop. The only reason she let me live and in her house was because TMR promised her a million Galleons each month until I was of legal age."_

_Karma paused to try to stop crying, but found she could only choke back sobs._

"_Now TMR is in Azkaban, who still finds a way to get the money out to her. Now you know. Just don't tell anybody else okay," Karma's tears fell faster._

_Lily was quiet, handing her a tissue._

"_Your family has the power. Please don't take my friends away! I want to stay here, with my friends. I don't want to be shipped over to foster care, where they would never allow me to see Hogwarts again. Please, Lily, don't…"_

_Lily reached over to the sobbing girl and hugged her._

"_Kar, I'm not going to. I know you need friends. Everybody does," Lily reassured the blonde._

_As Lily walked out of their dorm, Karma called out, "Thanks… thanks for listening."_

_The redhead smiled. "No problem."_

_Before Lily walked another step, she turned around and asked, "Vivienne and I are going to go to Hogsmeade together tomorrow. Want to come?"_

_When Lily thought she wasn't going to answer, Karma said in a quiet voice, "Sure. I'd, I'd like that."_

_And their friendship grew from that point on._

-&-

As everyone knows, teenagers often try to create their own happiness.

Everyone knows what teenagers in love like Lily and James could be doing.

However, everyone but those oblivious couples know that it can always cause trouble.

When Lily and James were celebrating Christmas, happiness was not the only thing created.

_Where there is love, there is life._ – Ghandi

-&-

**A/N- Sorry about the sad flashback. I was trying to practice writing in the angst field. So… how was it? **

**Tell me in your reviews!**


	19. Secret Jealousy

_Love Me For Who I Am By-x. by yours truly_

Chapter 19– Secret Jealousy

-&-

**Disclaimer-All this belongs to me…but there's one problem: I'm not J.K. Rowling so the only things you don't recognize are mine. And also, if I had owned Harry Potter and everything with that, Harry and Hermione would've gotten together, Draco and Ginny, Luna and Ron, Neville and Padma, Blaise and Pansy, Fred and Angelina, George and Alicia, Katie and Oliver, and James and Lily never would've died. Also, there would be no evil little rat named Pettigrew. (And no Tom Riddle, either.)**

-&-

**Thank you to Drunk Cow, grannyHPfan, HazelGreenEyes, JJ, and ****yauvanika chopra**** for reviewing so kindly!!! **

**Now, shoo! Read the chapter! **

-&-

List of Main Characters (6)

Lily Evans- 17 years old, went to Beauxbatons from 3rd to 6th year, very smart, talented at ballroom dance and modern dance, karate champion, red hair, green eyes, 5' 7", sister is Squib who married Vernon Dursley (another Squib), parents are powerful members of Ministry, sassy, hot (all the boys describe her as that anyway), was Chaser for Beauxbatons and probably will be for Quidditch, an Animagus (doe), Head Girl, pureblood, dating James Potter

James Potter- 17 years old, very smart, 6'1", talented at ballroom and modern dance (wonderful dance partner to Lily), karate champ, jet-black hair, hazel eyes, only child, parents are friends with Lily's parents, hot (girls describe him like that anyway), is Seeker at Hogwarts and captain for Gryffindor Quidditch team, an Animagus (stag), Head Boy, pureblood, dating Lily Evans

Karma White- 16 years old, best friend of Lily but hasn't seen her for 4 years, strawberry blonde hair that goes to her back, clear blue eyes, dating Sirius Black, 5' 5", Keeper for Gryffindor team, half-blood

Sirius Black- 17 years old, best friend of James but hasn't seen Lily for 4 years like the others, Animagus (black doggie), jet-black hair, chocolate brown eyes, dating the love of his life Karma White, Beater for Gryffindor team. 6' 1", pureblood

Vivienne Langston- 16 years old, best friend of Lily, hasn't seen her for 4 years, werewolf, dark brown hair that goes to middle of back, amethyst purple eyes, 5' 5", Chaser for Gryffindor team, dating Remus Lupin since 6th year's beginning, pureblood

Remus Lupin- 17 years old, best friend of James but hasn't seen Lily for 4 years, werewolf, sandy-colored hair, blue eyes, 6' 3", dating Vivienne Langston since beginning of 6th year's beginning, Chaser for Gryffindor team, half-blood

-&-

The brunette watched the couple with burning jealousy. How could that – that _scum_ get James Potter?

How could she, Ira Maverick, be unable to?

She watched from a distance as the couple made their way to the Great Lake.

She gazed as they snuggled under the tree.

This was not fair. Ira herself had lusted after him for many years, especially when she, Evans, and James had attended the same Muggle elementary school. She remembered when she saw him and was surprised Evans knew him.

She could get close to Evans and then steal her boyfriend, yes, but that was not going to happen. She knew that. They had been best friends in that Muggle school before Hogwarts until Evans found out Ira had been using her to get to her current crush, James Potter.

They had had a fight and that had been the end of their close friendship.

Evans did not trust her after that.

Nor did she have a reason to.

-&-

She hated Lily Evans. Evans was so – so _perfect_! She had everything any girl would crave for – the looks, the money, the fame, and on top of that, the love of _her_ James Potter.

James Potter was supposed to be with _her_!

It was _not_ fair.

How about at the dance?

She had found it unnerving the way James' eyes would never leave Evans'.

_Pathetic love doves_.

-&-

Even Ira would not go that far for love.

Her dreams for love had been shattered many years ago and her only goal nowadays in a relationship was money and fame.

She was very odd, she knew that.

For example, if anyone inquired her, someone who knew her would say:

Call her a bitch, she would do nothing.

Call her a slut, she would not deny it.

Call her a woman with a promising future; she'd slap you in the face.

Ira hated lies and always preferred honesty. This was an oxymoron, since she lied.

The only times she never applied honesty to was when _she_ lied.

-&-

As Ira made sure she was still undetected by the couple, she came across a plan. She was going to get James, no matter what.

Oh, yes, she was going to get him, no matter how many hearts were going to break in the process.

She was willing to break them, especially if it included Evans'.

James Potter was worth it.

_Evans' broken heart à la salad dressing, anyone? _

-&-

She hated the way Evans looked at her James with those sickening green eyes. She hated the implied, though not said actions they gave one another.

Evans lay on his chest. _I love you._

James wove their fingers together. _I love you, too. _

She gave him a kiss on the cheek. James started to tickle her and she began to laugh.

"Stop tickling me!" _Don't. I love how you feel I should laugh, even if _you _are not the one making me laugh._

He grinned.

"What's the magic word?" _Anything for you, darling. Anything. _

"Please?" _It feels so good out here. I love being with you. _

"No…" James pretended to think. "I'll continue tickling you now!" _Likewise, sweetheart. _

She shrieked with laughter. _Why all those names? _

_Because I enjoy calling you them. _

Oh, Ira hated all this. Her icy blue eyes scanned the surroundings and headed back up to her dorm.

She was going to get him.

She was going to break _her_.

-&-

Ira had an idea. It included something she loved to do – multitasking. She was very proud of being able to do at least five things at once – makeup, nails, hair, clothes, and talking on the telephone.

Her mother said it was not something that would get her far in life.

_She would be right, of course_, Ira spat in her mind scornfully.

Her mother always argued with her when she did those bad things.

Her mother would cry after arguing and her sister would smirk at the scene. Her sister would then distastefully say something along the lines of, "Well, isn't life a bitch for our dear Ira Maverick."

She had been in boot camp in the States before.

Her divorced father was proud she had accomplished at least one thing in life. It had not been because he hated Ira's mother, but more of her mum hated the simple, always calm man when Ira came home – as a disappointment. She had been neglected as a child, and would continue to be so unless…

Her father knew of Ira's plan (of success, most definitely) to snag one of the most eligible bachelors in England – James. Her father would definitely approve of her taste in using men.

She knew he would not reprimand her, ever. It wasn't his style.

He did not scold when she did things that were disapproved of – stealing, lying, and even being unfaithful.

That was why she preferred living with her father.

-&-

Looking at Evans and James in disgust (_I should be with James!_), she went over her plan.

It was very simple.

Ira would ask Evans to "tutor her in Charms". As Evans was preoccupied with something, she would slip a note she had paid Kelly to write in her messiest penmanship into Evans' bag.

Her dear James would be finding the note and then dumping her, meaning James would _hate_ Evans as much as she did.

Perfect.

James Potter would loathe Evans and he would be hers! She would conquer and she knew it.

She would be waiting outside the Heads' dorms so he would see her, ask her out, and they would date.

Lusting after James had helped her predict his way of thinking.

It would be a very good ending for her Hogwarts years.

It would be a very good beginning for her career, also.

If James decided to propose at the end, she would have the endless fame and unlimited money.

What's more was Lily Evans would be miserable as _she_ lived in luxury with James right in her palm – right where she wanted him.

An extra bonus would be Evans would not suspect her doing anything.

-&-

_Your ex-best friend is often your worst enemy._


	20. Late

_Love Me For Who I Am By-__x. by yours truly_

Chapter 20 – Late

-&-

**Disclaimer-All this belongs to me…but there's one problem: I'm not J.K. Rowling so the only things you don't recognize are mine. And also, if I had owned Harry Potter and everything with that, Harry and Hermione would've gotten together, Draco and Ginny, Luna and Ron, Neville and Padma, Blaise and Pansy, Fred and Angelina, George and Alicia, Katie and Oliver, and James and Lily never would've died. Also, there would be no evil little rat named Pettigrew. (And no Tom Riddle, either.) **

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**Thank you to marauder-lover-forever, Drunk Cow, HazelGreenEyes and grannyHPfan for reviewing!!! I recently just won the seventh grade spelling bee at my school but let us hope I win when I go against the eighth grade and sixth grade winners! I also got into the social studies fair! **

-&-

List of Main Characters (6)

Lily Evans- 17 years old, went to Beauxbatons from 3rd to 6th year, very smart, talented at ballroom dance and modern dance, karate champion, red hair, green eyes, 5' 7", sister is Squib who married Vernon Dursley (another Squib), parents are powerful members of Ministry, sassy, hot (all the boys describe her as that anyway), was Chaser for Beauxbatons and probably will be for Quidditch, an Animagus (doe), Head Girl, pureblood, dating James Potter

James Potter- 17 years old, very smart, 6'1", talented at ballroom and modern dance (wonderful dance partner to Lily), karate champ, jet-black hair, hazel eyes, only child, parents are friends with Lily's parents, hot (girls describe him like that anyway), is Seeker at Hogwarts and captain for Gryffindor Quidditch team, an Animagus (stag), Head Boy, pureblood, dating Lily Evans

Karma White- 16 years old, best friend of Lily but hasn't seen her for 4 years, strawberry blonde hair that goes to her back, clear blue eyes, dating Sirius Black, 5' 5", Keeper for Gryffindor team, half-blood

Sirius Black- 17 years old, best friend of James but hasn't seen Lily for 4 years like the others, Animagus (black doggie), jet-black hair, chocolate brown eyes, dating the love of his life Karma White, Beater for Gryffindor team. 6' 1", pureblood

Vivienne Langston- 16 years old, best friend of Lily, hasn't seen her for 4 years, werewolf, dark brown hair that goes to middle of back, amethyst purple eyes, 5' 5", Chaser for Gryffindor team, dating Remus Lupin since 6th year's beginning, pureblood

Remus Lupin- 17 years old, best friend of James but hasn't seen Lily for 4 years, werewolf, sandy-colored hair, blue eyes, 6' 3", dating Vivienne Langston since beginning of 6th year's beginning, Chaser for Gryffindor team, half-blood

-&-

Lily Evans was happy.

Others had commented and she would offhandedly reply, "Just the weather."

Inside, she was not skeptical that she had the supposed euphoria-itis. (This was, of course, what Sirius had 'officially' dubbed it as.)

She did not realize she had not been angered nor depressed for over a month.

Normally, she would have been worried about this and wondering who cast the Cheering Charm, but right now – I am afraid – that was not the case.

-&-

"Hey babe," James greeted his girlfriend – he was still marveling over that fact – and planted a long, hungry kiss on her lips.

The said girlfriend kissed him and then shoved him into the library chair and resumed her studies.

He stared at her disbelievingly. How could his girlfriend – of all people, he might add – ignore him for a packet of parchment?

Forget the fact that Lily was past her surprised state of dating her best friend and forget the fact that he was obsessed with that piece of information.

He stared at her, wondering if the stare could pierce through her lovely skull.

She kept on working.

He attempted to intensify his glare.

He should not have wasted his breath on that lame attempt.

She kept on working.

Later, however, Lily made it up by snogging him with a fiery passion – James swore he saw a goddess.

-&-

Karma came up once to her and Vivienne as they lounged in the Heads common room, talking about nothing in particular.

"Hi," she greeted.

"Hey."

"Something bad happened to me," Karma said, dramatically.

The other two exchanged panicky glances.

Uh oh. This was not good.

It meant A) she found out someone stole her favorite shirt; B) her mother sent her a Howler; or C) – gasp – it was something wrong in her love life.

When it was something about her love life, the two other girls had to go through not-so-pretty deeds and 'punk' – as Karma would call it – the one of the opposite persuasion she chose.

As the two pleaded with the almighty higher beings that it better not be that damn third choice, Karma broke out quite quietly…

"I broke up with Sirius."

-&-

"Seriously, I'm fine!" the blonde girl insisted. "Look, not even one tear!"

"Are you sure?" Vivienne leaned closer to examine her eyes, leading Karma to lose her balance and plop down on Lily's bed.

"I mean, look. Sirius and I knew we were not going to work out since the beginning of seventh year. We both agreed we would stay committed to each other until after Christmas break to see if our relationship was actually … going somewhere," she explained.

"And you are saying your relationship is not going to another level of progress, you mean?"

"Yes," she shrugged. "I am actually okay with this. Before we were just hanging on because we thought our significant other actually wanted to stay like this. It turns out that we both did not want it at all."

"See, _that's_ the reason why people should talk more in a commitment. Remember what I was telling you?"

"Oh, please, _Lily_, stop acting so smug about it. Yes, you were right, and _NO_, don't rub it in."

-&-

Lily smiled at the Healer and bid her goodbye.

"Thank you, Mrs. Longbottom."

The bubbly woman replied, "Please don't call me 'Mrs.' – call me Alice, it makes me feel old."

"So it is confirmed then?"

"Yes, you are pregnant. You're well onto two months!"

"Then I – I am."

"You're probably a bit nervous, being your young age and all, but I remember when I first discovered I could See things. I was terrified!"

They chatted a bit and as Lily rose to go, Alice warned her.

"Lily, I'm not pressuring you to keep the baby, but please think _carefully_ about this. I am not guaranteeing everyone will accept it. You _will_ be shunned – at least fore a while."

"Yes, ma'am."

-&-

Tell her friends had been no big deal. Surprisingly, they accepted it and all they were fretting about was who was going to be godparent.

She had noticed Sirius and Karma had not let their eyes meet, but she knew they would be fine – after talking it out.

_"Narcissa is expecting too, you know," Sirius said unexpectedly. _

_"She is?" _

_"Yeah. Apparently, she and Malfoy held the stupid arranged nuptials – she had not even wanted to marry that bastard – and then – from what I overheard from Snape – they had an eventful 'wedding night'." _

_"How had she found out about her pregnancy so soon?" _

_"Stupid Black – I mean Lestrange – kept on making sure she was so they could 'ensure a male heir to the Malfoy fortune'." _

_"I feel so sorry for the offspring. Knowing Malfoy's temper, the child would be abused." _

Now all that was needed was telling James.

Damn. That was going to be difficult.

-&-

**A/N – Sorry about the late update. In addition, to the crappy & short chapter, I just wanted to update for you all first, before everybody thought I put this on hiatus. Review, please? I have about 17 on favorites and 31 on the alerts. I would _love_ if more people reviewed instead of an average 5. **

**_Please?_**


	21. To Be Deceived

_Love Me For Who I Am By-x. by yours truly_

Chapter 21 – To Be Deceived

-&-

**Disclaimer-All this belongs to me…but there is one problem: I am not J.K. Rowling so the only things you do not recognize are mine. In addition, if I had owned Harry Potter and everything with that, Harry and Hermione would have gotten together, Draco and Ginny, Luna and Ron, Neville and Padma, Blaise and Pansy, Fred and Angelina, George and Alicia, Katie and Oliver, and James and Lily never would have died. In addition, there would be no evil little rat named Pettigrew. (And no Tom Riddle, either.) **

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**Thank you to grannyHPfan, HazelGreenEyes and Luna the Moon Fairy for reviewing!!! On Thursday, 11/30/06, I went to the championships for the school. The verdict was … OH MY GOODNESS! I WON! That was unfortunate, since I thought I should have gotten second. I don't like competing out there. **

-&-

List of Main Characters (6)

Lily Evans- 17 years old, red hair, green eyes, 5' 7", older sister, Head Girl, pureblood, dating James Potter

James Potter- 17 years old, 6'1", jet-black hair, hazel eyes, only child, Head Boy, pureblood, dating Lily Evans

Karma White- 17 years old, strawberry blonde hair that goes to her back, clear blue eyes, 5' 5", half-blood, _Sirius Black's ex_

Sirius Black- 17 years old, jet-black hair, chocolate brown eyes, 6' 1", pureblood, _Karma White's ex_

Vivienne Langston- 17 years old, dark brown hair, amethyst purple eyes, 5' 5", dating Remus Lupin since 6th year's beginning, pureblood

Remus Lupin- 17 years old, sandy-colored hair, blue eyes, 6' 3", dating Vivienne Langston since beginning of 6th year's beginning, half-blood

-&-

It was late afternoon – almost early evening.

"Are you sure you do not want to put telling him off until tomorrow?" asked Vivienne. "Being February **the thirteenth**, after all …"

"No, I'm fine. Valentine's Day is supposed to be a surprise party for his birthday, remember?"

"And it's _your_ birthday too!" Karma retorted. "Bleeding hell, you and James are so meant to be – you both are so adamant on things! I used to think Sirius and I were supposed to be meant to be – our last names and all …"

She let that trail off and the three girls were silent.

-&-

_The great question – which I have not been able to answer – is, "What does a woman want?" _

– Sigmund Freud

James was trying to think of how to present his birthday present to his girlfriend for the next day. He did not think his girlfriend would have liked it if he had transfigured a donkey out of nowhere and let the animal take the would-be soggy box to her.

That had been Sirius' idea. Even though he had bopped Sirius on the head for that, he had been glad Sirius had at least showed a sign that he was alive. Sirius had actually acted mature after breaking up with White.

In addition to that, much to Lily's exasperation, their friends sometimes had the habit of mentioning each other by their surnames.

He guessed habits died hard.

-&-

Ira Maverick watched quietly as the man of her dreams went who-knows-where.

She heard a, "Bye love!" from James and then watched as Evans walked out, also.

Ira stalked the girl and her 'comrades' and placed herself in a position where she would collide into Evans.

_Bump!_

Ira flattened her hair and then angelically said, "Lily – if I may call you that – can you tutor me in Charms? Professor Flitwick said I was failing and I want to keep my grades up."

Lily looked warily at the girl – traitor – before her.

"Sure," she said at last, "you know where the Head Dorms are, correct? Meet me outside and I'll let you in later – after supper."

"Thank you," Ira said, silently cheering.

It was a lot more than she had bargained for.

Phase One was complete.

-&-

"Swish and flick, Ira! Yes, that's it!" Lily encouraged her 'student' – traitor former friend.

"Oh, wait, Maver – Ira. I need to get something … " she trailed off and began looking around. She headed toward her bedroom.

Ira smirked.

The plan would not be able to backfire now.

Surreptitiously, she slipped a tiny piece of parchment into the leather shoulder bag – just as soon as Lily came back in.

Ira hurriedly pretended to still have trouble with the charm. She innocently then glanced at her 'tutor'.

"Oh, yes! Where were we?"

-&-

As Ira haughtily strutted out, Lily tensed.

Now was the time she was going to tell the biological father about the baby.

She had already left a note that morning, telling him she needed to tell him something after supper.

Unfortunately, things do not always go as planned for even when one thing is expected, that one must realize – and always remember – that fate would not be set in stone.

This time, Lily had forgotten that.

Instead of going one step forward, their relationship would go two steps back.

That would spark their former enmity – all because of the match named Ira.

-&-

"What was it that you needed to tell me, sweetheart?"

Lily gulped.

Did she really want to do this?

Did she really _need_ to do this?

_It was yes to both. _

As James rummaged through her bag absentmindedly, his lips brushed hers.

"You can tell me."

However, just as she started to tell, James' observant hands closed around a small, offending piece of paper that would destroy their bond as soon as he opened it.

"What is this?" he inquired. "Maybe you were passing notes in class again?"

His tone was so humorous. If only fate had not picked today to intervene …

He read it and his droll smile turned into a frown. His eyes narrowed.

Atmosphere in the room had changed. Now there was tension.

"More like note passing between two lovers – you've been seeing someone behind my back?"

"What?" It was the first thing she spoke ever since she had arranged for them to talk. She grabbed the note and read it.

_How could this be?_

More importantly, _where did it come from?_

-&-

From the position Ira had, spying on Evans and James, she could hear pretty clearly.

He was asking her something and now she could picture Evans visibly swallowing.

Then, he found the note.

_Well, this is starting to get interesting._

"What do you mean, you don't know where this came from?" his voice roared, making even Ira flinch.

"I swear I would never do that! You know me, James, don't you?" her sickening soft voice did not even try to calm James – not even one bit.

"Well, apparently I don't know you anymore – according to this note. How could you?" his voice was so angry – so hurt. That was an aggressive combination at times.

"James – "

"GET OUT!"

There was no cracking noise filling the air like she had hoped. Then again, she realized, James Potter did not hit the opposite gender.

A tear-streaked redhead came out, without noticing the bane of her existence step from the shadows.

The male stepped out, sighing and looking hurt.

He suddenly missed Lily. He longed for her lips – so soft and wanting – to be on his so he could claim her again. Damn it, he wanted to run his fingers in his soft hair, feel her soft curves yield to his much taller body – hell – even listen to her lectures! It was just only that she reacted to what he did – whether it be hatred or with love – did he want right now.

_Merlin, why didn't I believe her? I am so stupid. _

He spotted Ira.

_Should I go for her?_

_On the other hand, should I stay here with Maverick – her first name is Ira, right? _

He remembered a conversation when they were still dating as they sat near the fireplace.

_James and Lily were sitting at the fireplace, cuddling with one another. He had to admit – privately of course – that he did enjoy cuddling with his girlfriend, no matter how girly it sounded._

_"James?" her sleepy voice called. _

_"Hm?" _

_"Will we ever break up?" her voice was so soft, so scared … _

_"Maybe. Let us hope not," he grunted and shifted so they were much closer to each other. _

_"If we ever do, promise me one thing." _

_"What would that be?" _

_"Don't date Ira Maverick." _

They had ended up kissing a lot – damn, he wanted to kiss her right now. More than that, he wanted to hug her, talk to her, and tell her he was wrong. He should have not let his temper go up – he had cast a Silencing Charm for most of it so nobody could hear the majority – and let her explain.

He looked back at the girl, who smiled coyly at him. They broke up because he dumped her since he thought she was unfaithful. So what? Just because they were over did not mean they had to keep the promises that were made.

"Come in," he beckoned and the girl followed.

It was only then, when he was in the middle of snogging Maverick, did he remember Lily – no, _Evans –_ needed to tell him something.

-&-

There was no way to describe how Lily felt as she left the dorm, trying not to cry. Their argument was caused by one of the most common problems, but the breakup had been more passive than 'feeling'. Maybe it was because they did not express themselves by words, but often with actions.

She stumbled upon Remus and Vivienne kissing and felt bile rise from her throat. Just before she had been dumped, they had kissed …

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything," she apologized briefly and turned to leave, hoping they had not realized she had been crying.

"It's all right," Remus said kindly, "How – Lily! What happened?"

Remus brought Sirius and Karma too – so Sirius could see how his best friend screwed up and so Karma could go and try to hurt J – no, it hurt too much to even think of his name now.

"He … dumped me."

Look where love had gotten her now? She had let down all her defenses to a boy she really liked – hell, maybe even loved – and her heart just got broken.

She summarized everything and Karma led the whole group to the Heads'.

They were met with the sight of James snogging Ira with his hand down her shirt.

Lily ran to her room and shut the door, while Karma shoved Ira out harshly and attempted to lunge herself at James.

"We trusted you to not hurt her, you asshole!" she hissed.

She brought her arm down powerfully onto his cheek in an almost satisfying slap.

He gave no answer, making her even angrier.

"You know what? I quit the Quidditch team! So does Lily, Vivienne, and the rest of your team – of your friends," she then yelled, before trying to get him – but was stopped by Vivienne (and Sirius, who thought it was awkward).

This brought a response.

"You can't do that!"

"Well, we just did."

"Remus, Sirius, you cannot do this to me," he pleaded. He sounded so desperate, so defeated.

"Sorry, but White's right this time, James. We have to go and take care of Lily … and her predicament," Remus sounded sincerely sorry.

_Lily has a predicament?_ He quickly dropped that and said, "Fine – quit the team. I'll – I'll just look for new players. We'll still be friends right?" It was such a hopeful tone.

"Yes, but I can't forgive you for this. You can't just break a girl's heart like this – especially since she was one of your best friends first," Sirius heaved a sigh.

-&-

As Remus scanned the parchment for clues, he slowly said, "Don't you think it's a bit odd?"

"What is a bit odd?"

"That Ira was here at the right time, right place?"

"It could have been a coincidence."

"Lily, stop trying to prove her innocent. You do not know anything about this. And what about the tutoring session she asked, for _today_?"

"You might be onto something," Vivienne agreed.

"She could have written the note," Sirius stated.

"Of course she did," Lily said, with a quiet conviction in her voice, "that bitch."

-&-

**A/N: Yikes! Our favorite couple broke up! I hope I did well on the breakup scene. You know what I'm going to ask you to do, so I'm not even going to ask anymore. **

**Anyway, does anyone vote for Ira to be dead at the end of the story? **


	22. Dead

_Love Me For Who I Am By-x. by yours truly _

_Chapter 22 – Dead_

-&-

**Disclaimer-All this belongs to me…but there is one problem: I am not J.K. Rowling so the only things you do not recognize are mine. In addition, if I had owned Harry Potter and everything with that, Harry and Hermione would have gotten together, Draco and Ginny, Luna and Ron, Neville and Padma, Blaise and Pansy, Fred and Angelina, George and Alicia, Katie and Oliver, and James and Lily never would have died. In addition, there would be no evil little rat named Pettigrew. (And no Tom Riddle, either.) **

-&-

**Thank you to grannyHPfan and Bubb1eTea, HazelGreenEyes, and tennisjock for reviewing! You are so nice. **

**I think. **

-&-

List of Main Characters (6)

Lily Evans- 17 years old, red hair, green eyes, 5' 7", older sister, Head Girl, pureblood, _James Potter's ex _

James Potter- 17 years old, 6'1", jet-black hair, hazel eyes, only child, Head Boy, pureblood, _Lily Evans' ex_, dating Ira Maverick – a wannabe in Lily's eyes

Karma White- 17 years old, strawberry blonde hair that goes to her back, clear blue eyes, 5' 5", half-blood, _Sirius Black's ex_

Sirius Black- 17 years old, jet-black hair, chocolate brown eyes, 6' 1", pureblood, _Karma White's ex_

Vivienne Langston- 17 years old, dark brown hair, amethyst purple eyes, 5' 5", dating Remus Lupin since 6th year's beginning, pureblood

Remus Lupin- 17 years old, sandy-colored hair, blue eyes, 6' 3", dating Vivienne Langston since beginning of 6th year's beginning, half-blood

-&-

He glared at her. When her friends had beckoned her out, she had meekly came out and subtly tried to hide.

He just stared. The comforting reassurance in the air had turned so suddenly.

_What is she afraid of?_ He laughed inside, until he realized something. _Is she scared of _me

James abruptly cleared his throat and said, "I'm leaving."

Then he pushed past them toward the exit. He did not miss, however, the way her green eyes were silently pleading for him to stay so they could work things out.

Pushing that image of her fierce eyes looking so vulnerable away in his head, he did one of the stupidest things one can do.

He walked away.

_Sometimes it's wrong to walk away, though you think it's over  
Knowing there's so much more to say_

-&-

They still did not talk that night.

He kissed her neck softly bit, making her shiver in the sheer pleasure of it. Encouraged, he nipped lovingly at her collarbone. Leaving a mark, he left a trail of soft kisses from her neck to her lusciously soft lips. She moaned and pushed him off.

Wondering why, he soon got the answer when she straddled him.

Dominating him for now, she licked his upper lip. He groaned and was surprised when she did not kiss him again.

She set about marking his neck. She bit a sensitive part and then licked it to soothe the mark. Now everyone would understand – if they had not already – he was _hers_. _Only _hers.

She then put her cool hands onto his hard, warm six-pack. Her fingers made his stomach muscles quiver. As far as she knew, he never responded to anything else like that.

Pinning her wrists above her head on the bed, he kissed her. Making her squirm as his unoccupied hand set about touching her, he kept kissing her.

She felt so sexually frustrated the way he kept kissing and drawing away.

She always put energy into kissing him since she enjoyed it. His lips kissed hers fervently but his body seemed to be bored, as if kissing her was some ordinary occurrence – as if there were no sparks when they kissed.

Frustrated with that, she gyrated her pelvis against hers, making him groan. They kissed furiously with their tongues dancing wildly about with no control.

He ran a hand through her hair as he continued to kiss those pliant, soft lips.

His tongue darted in and stayed in as he finally started fumbling for the buttons of her school blouse. One came off when he pulled on the button too hard.

She shrugged and he helped her take the shirt off, along with his own tie and shirt. He groped the skin hidden under her navy blue skirt as she whimpered from the sensation of his long, slender fingers rubbing circles on her thighs under her skirt.

She struggled to gain control, still being held back by his firm, strong hand. Still pinned to the bed, she could only feel the way he was languidly teasing her.

Soon they were stripped of every piece of clothing they wore and then being bored with their foreplay, he positioned himself over her.

-&-

_Suddenly the moment's gone  
And all your dreams are upside down  
And you just wanna change the way the world goes round_

Lily woke up with a start.

She was a bit surprised to wake up without a certain warm, masculine body next to her with his arm across her waist.

Looking around her bed for James, she remembered he was not hers anymore.

Her bed was cold without him.

Sighing and trying not to cry, she turned over to try to sleep again.

Oh. So that had been a dream.

She did not want to think about what had happened last night. It was not because of all that 'I can't live without him' crap or because of 'I really loved him, I really did' shit, but the fact he had believed what was said in that 'note' rather than what she had said.

She was not the type of person to be overridden with teenage angst because of a breakup just to gain attention or to try to commit suicide because she was heartbroken or even try to talk to him again to get together. She was not going to start drinking just because of that either. She was not going to deny she was heartbroken, of course, but she knew that that was no way to get rid of the emotional pain.

In fact, she was _almost_ happy without him because whenever they were kissing, she would be worried about whether or not he felt the same things she did.

-&-

When she went down to the Great Hall for breakfast, she found that both her ex and Maverick were not there. Not bothering to argue with her pessimistic side about them together at the same place, she sat down next to Vivienne and Karma.

People were murmuring and staring at her but she was not surprised. After all, Hogwarts was a large co-ed school. If something as big as this had happened, she would have thought something was wrong if the news had not gotten out.

Grabbing a piece of toast, she then found a black Ministry owl swooping down, nearly landing in her oatmeal.

"Whoa! You'd think these birds would have better aim!" Karma exclaimed, annoyed as she took the envelope.

Not looking at the stamp, she read who it was addressed to and said aloud, "Lily! It's for you!"

Lily tentatively took the envelope. Whenever a black owl from the Ministry delivered, news was never good.

_Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody  
Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry_

She ripped open the flap, read it, and fled. As Vivienne took the letter and scanned it, she mouthed _death_ to Karma. Vivienne took the letter and they both ran out after her.

Her friends caught up with her in the kitchens where she would not reply, no matter how many times they asked her if she was okay. Of course, she was not okay! Her grandparents, the ones she had been so close to, had died! Why would she be okay at all?

Tears sprang up to her eyes and to her horror, she started crying again. She had often prided herself to be able to go through many periods of physical or emotional pain. Just before, she was weeping over him and now over the death of her family? She was disgusted with herself.

She was not only disgusted by the fact about her crying. There had been many times when she had gotten them in trouble with the Ministry law when she had her magical 'accidents'. The officials would march over; ready to take them away from her. Her parents would be working and not hearing about it until it was finally safe.

She could not forget the memory of her grandmother holding a broken ankle on the floor when she had slipped in climbing to try to save her granddaughter from falling. She had stared, whimpering and doing nothing when the older woman had whispered for her to get help. She did get help but it had taken a while for it to come.

Recently, she had confided in them both about her pregnancy, hardly taking notice of their diseased bodies. They had advised her to choose what she wanted to do.

She had been so selfish.

It was the last time she ever saw them alive.

Then there was James. She had loved him; she knew that.

Now looking at the mail again, she saw the funeral date.

Finally understanding what happened last night, she realized now that James was not with her anymore, she would have to depend on herself.

_Can't you see, that's the way I feel about you and me, baby  
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking _

She wanted James back, she knew that too.

His feelings reciprocated hers; she knew.

She had been deeply affected by it, yes, and of course, she felt her heart was breaking. Later, she would probably think that pain had never been there, she realized.

_Lookin' down the road you should be taking  
I should know, cuz I loved and lost the day I let you go _

Glancing at her stomach – which had a charm cast conveniently to hide the soon-to-be-coming bulge – she understood she would probably have to abort the life inside.

Aborting it would be losing her last link to James and to her last memory of her grandparents alive.

It would also be not giving the baby a fair chance of surviving in this world.

_Can't help but think that this is wrong, we should be together  
Back in your arms where I belong _

Watching Maverick going all over James across the lake, she could not but help feel pangs of jealousy.

As they snuggled, she kept thinking that Maverick should not be in his arms; she should.

Across from where Lily was reading, James irritably wrapped his arm around Maverick's waist. He was only using her to get Lily jealous.

Subconsciously, James wanted her to feel pain. He wanted her to hurt as much as he did. It may have been immature, but he saw them both in an eye-for-eye game. Whatever she did to him, he would do something to her.

-&-

_Now I've finally realized it was forever that I've found  
I'd give it all to change the way the world goes round _

Sitting in the waiting room, Lily tensed.

Was she certain she could do this?

Would she be able to take it?

What kind of Pandora's box was she opening?

Alice met her again, smiling reassuringly at the young girl. She was so young to be expecting – so confused.

"Ready to perform the charm to whisk the embryo away?" she asked.

Lily hesitated and then froze. Would she be able to?

"Actually, I was wondering if I could leave it," she said. She could almost hear her grandmother saying, "Don't feel obligated to anything. Just choose whatever you want."

"It's fine, then," Alice smiled. "Not many young girls would have said that. They usually want the baby taken away because they believed if the baby was gone, then the problem is gone."

Lily nodded shakily and left. Before she did, she paused.

"Mrs. Long – Alice?"

Alice looked up.

"Thanks."

-&-

**A/N- Can someone recommend some good L/J fics? ****Review please! And a Merry Christmas to everybody! **


	23. No

_Love Me For Who I Am By-x. by yours truly_

Chapter 23 – No

-&-

**Disclaimer-All this belongs to me…but there is one problem: I am not J.K. Rowling so the only things you do not recognize are mine. In addition, if I had owned Harry Potter and everything with that, Harry and Hermione would have gotten together, Draco and Ginny, Luna and Ron, Neville and Padma, Blaise and Pansy, Fred and Angelina, George and Alicia, Katie and Oliver, and James and Lily never would have died. In addition, there would be no evil little rat named Pettigrew. (And no Tom Riddle, either.)**

-&-

**Thank you to grannyHPfan, asianhomie101, and SerenityRose016 for reviewing! I will try to update as quickly as possible, but unfortunately, I have a busy, busy school year left. Here it is:**

**January – English Language Arts New York Statewide Exam (long name, isn't it?), marking period ends**

**February – My birthday, others of my friends' birthdays, Regional Spelling Bee (I almost wish I did not win), I am making sure I am going to post in February on my birthday, so if I update twice in that month, guess when it is!**

**March – Mathematics New York Statewide Exam (at least this name of the stupid test we all take every single year isn't as long), marking period ends**

**April – Helping others by tutoring them for whatever's left, architecture project**

**May – Friend's birthday, more tutoring**

**June – one year's anniversary of writing this fic, when my original purpose to do this was to think about something else besides the tremendous peer pressure and all that loathing. I'm over that now.**

-&-

List of Main Characters (6)

Lily Evans- 17 years old, red hair, green eyes, 5' 7", older sister, Head Girl, pureblood, _James Potter's ex_

James Potter- 17 years old, 6'1", jet-black hair, hazel eyes, only child, Head Boy, pureblood, _Lily Evans' ex_, dating Ira Maverick – a wannabe in Lily's eyes

Karma White- 17 years old, strawberry blonde hair that goes to her back, clear blue eyes, 5' 5", half-blood, _Sirius Black's ex_

Sirius Black- 17 years old, jet-black hair, chocolate brown eyes, 6' 1", pureblood, _Karma White's ex_

Vivienne Langston- 17 years old, dark brown hair, amethyst purple eyes, 5' 5", dating Remus Lupin since 6th year's beginning, pureblood

Remus Lupin- 17 years old, sandy-colored hair, blue eyes, 6' 3", dating Vivienne Langston since beginning of 6th year's beginning, half-blood

-&-

He was _so_ damn frustrating, thought Ira Maverick.

She had gotten together with him, yes, but now she only had one goal in mind.

Right now, she was waiting for that idiot to come around and see the light.

To put it bluntly, she wanted him to fuck her – fuck her and then she would dump him, having accomplished getting into his list of sleepees.

How could he resist her? She had worn attractive and revealing clothes, spoke in a husky, sultry, seductive tone to him, and even made a few subtle moves!

What an idiot. He was _so_ dense.

When she had worn those clothes, he had commented that it was not even that warm yet and asked if she was sick.

When she had spoke in that voice, he had asked if she had a cold.

Lastly, when she plopped herself in his lap, he had asked, "Don't sit here; I'm doing some work."

Idiot, idiot, idiot.

She almost wished Evans was still with him because she could not believe James Potter, Hogwarts Playboy, was so incredibly dense.

"He's so damn oblivious," she had complained to her 'friends'.

"It's not your fault he's clueless; he's still a teenage boy," one of the smarter, scared introverts said.

"He's still hormonal!" Ira had protested. "What in the name of Merlin is so difficult to understand about 'I want us to get it on!'"

_Apparently, a lot._

-&-

She sighed and patted her stomach, where her future child would be born.

_Is it a boy? Maybe it is a girl?_

That visit had been one of the most difficult in her entire life. After deciding not to abort the infant, now she had to choose which path the infant would take.

It was not fair, she realized. Here she was, some foolish teenager who had pre-marital sex, making decisions she had not seen her making when she was seventeen – no, eighteen.

Her birthday had been on Valentine's. As she watched boys profess their affection to the girls of their choice, she had been relieved when that series of throwing up had finished some time before.

Then she had to suffer the humiliation of the sight of James Potter with Maverick on his arm. Boys did not openly jeer but the girls did. The ones who had been jealous of her asked if she knew he was with another skank. She had not replied, knowing she still would have been openly embarrassed.

_I wonder what he is doing now?_

This question popped up many times in her head often while she was studying, thinking, or sleeping.

Every time, her guess was different.

_Probably screwing that worthless bitch, _she figured.

When she thought that, she remembered what she had to do.

Putting on a Muggle jumper – though it was a lot colder to be wearing one –, she hurried outside to the Quidditch pitch.

-&-

"I quit."

James looked up from his seat in the stands to see the redhead who had been on his mind all day and night.

_Play nice._

"What?" _What is she talking about?_

"I. Quit. I am not going to play on the team anymore," Lily said, her eyes defiant – daring him to say no.

He took it on.

"Why? You _are_ a pretty good player," he protested. He may be on bad terms with different people but if they were part of what he did, he knew when to go against their wishes to quit.

She stubbornly said the two words that had began their first interaction for a week.

"I quit."

"Look, Lily, if this is about the breakup I understand but you cannot – "

"This is not about the breakup," she interrupted.

"Then what is this about?" he inquired. _How can she seem to not feel anything about this?_

"Something I know. My current, er, situation is not considered 'safe' in this type of environment."

"I see." _Bullshit._

As she walked away, he found he was sorry she left.

That night, when he was staring at the ceiling, he realized he was sorry because he had been too cowardly to stop her.

-&-

Alice examined the baby, showed Lily the progress of her baby was doing, and finally asked what Lily wanted to do with the baby.

"Do you want to give the baby up for adoption?"

Lily opened her mouth to say 'yes', but a brief glimpse of James made her confident about that choice.

"No."

-&-

**A/N: Whee, chapter 23 done. Like?**


	24. Maybe I Should

_Love Me For Who I Am By-x. by yours truly_

Chapter 24 – Maybe I Should

-&-

**Disclaimer-All this belongs to me…but there is one problem: I am not J.K. Rowling so the only things you do not recognize are mine. In addition, if I had owned Harry Potter and everything with that, Harry and Hermione would have gotten together, Draco and Ginny, Luna and Ron, Neville and Padma, Blaise and Pansy, Fred and Angelina, George and Alicia, Katie and Oliver, and James and Lily never would have died. In addition, there would be no evil little rat named Pettigrew. (And no Tom Riddle, either.)**

-&-

**Thank you to HazelGreenEyes, grannyHPfan, Classy Lady Elegance, and coreagurl for reviewing! Happy Martin Luther King's Day! I hope you don't mind me updating a bit earlier. It was only last week since I updated …**

**Now please wait about two weeks for the next installment! (I'm getting better at the updating intervals!)**

-&-

List of Main Characters (6)

Lily Evans- 17 years old, red hair, green eyes, 5' 7", older sister, Head Girl, pureblood, _James Potter's ex_

James Potter- 17 years old, 6'1", jet-black hair, hazel eyes, only child, Head Boy, pureblood, _Lily Evans' ex_, dating Ira Maverick

Karma White- 17 years old, strawberry blonde hair that goes to her back, clear blue eyes, 5' 5", half-blood, _Sirius Black's ex_

Sirius Black- 17 years old, jet-black hair, chocolate brown eyes, 6' 1", pureblood, _Karma White's ex_

Vivienne Langston- 17 years old, dark brown hair, amethyst purple eyes, 5' 5", dating Remus Lupin since 6th year's beginning, pureblood

Remus Lupin- 17 years old, sandy-colored hair, blue eyes, 6' 3", dating Vivienne Langston since beginning of 6th year's beginning, half-blood

-&-

_She remembered one particular incident when she was six years old, talking to her father. She laughed a bit through her tears, as she continued to reminisce._

_"Daddy?" a small voice relaxed Mr. Evans' forehead, which had been scrunched up as he went through some paperwork. What paperwork, she did not recall, but she knew her father was frustrated about it._

_Mr. Evans, glad of the interruption his youngest daughter created, looked up and smiled. The girl in the sky blue party dress – she had insisted she looked dastardly in that pink – plopped down on the big beanbag. The beanbag, of course, had been placed there, courtesy of her father, knowing his children would want to come in and see him._

"_Yes?" He thought she looked so innocent, unaware of the less fortunate people all around, the diseases, and the wars. Today, he noticed, she was clean. It was probably because she and his best friend's son were not making trouble – yet. He had learned even though the kids were only six, they got in a lot more trouble than most of the adults he knew ever got in a month. _

_What was his best friend's son named? Oh, yes. James. _

_He sighed. Soon, he and James' father, John, would have to discuss whether they wanted to unite the bloodlines. It was stupid, he had thought, but also logical. After all, he did not want his Lily to be whisked off by another man he did not know, like thirteen year old Petunia with some nice though quiet boy named Vernon Dursley. _

_Glancing at the golden nameplate on his desk he had insisted on not getting, he memorized the way the letters were engraved. Jack Evans. Sighing again, he reluctantly got back to his papers._

_"Daddy, can I marry Grandpa?" Lily's voice piped up._

_Pausing for a second and hoping he had not hear correctly, he asked her to repeat her question._

_"I want to marry Grandpa," Lily declared determinedly._

_"Honey, you can't do that," he patiently replied._

_"Why not?"_

_"Because he is your mum's father. Besides, sweet stuff, he's already married to your grandmother."_

_"That isn't fair," she pouted._

_He smiled again and said gently, "Now hurry along to your mum; she wants to show you off to wow her guests."_

_She grumbled, "Again with the guests. Mummy has so many parties showing me off. Why?"_

_"That's because none of her other friends have daughters. Now shoo." With that, he swatted her rear and lightly shoved her out the door._

_As soon as she stepped out, she ran into her mother, who gave her a kiss and a hug._

_"Mummy?" she asked, as they walked to the parlor hand-in-hand._

_"Yes?"_

_"May I marry Grandpa?"_

_"No, sweetie."_

_"Why not? Daddy said no, too."_

_"Well, he's my daddy, that's why."_

_"But mum," she whined, "you married my daddy and I didn't have any objections against that!"_

_Her mum just hugged her tight and whispered in her ear, "One day you won't go around asking if you could marry Grandpa. You'll find someone amazing to love and marry and then we'll watch you marry."_

_Even though Lily was only six years old, she never forgot that._

-&-

Lily's friends – Sirius, Remus, Vivienne, and Karma – watched helplessly as Lily and James fought. It had been the fifth fight that week and almost every Hogwarts student had the desire to give up everything he or she had to get some peace and quiet.

"Can't we help her?" whispered Vivienne to Remus in despair.

As much as Remus wanted to help resolve the conflict so they would both stop hurting, he replied, "No, we cannot. This is Lily's fight and she knows it. She's too stubborn to let anyone help her."

"Even us?"

"Yes, even us."

"Then what can we do?"

"All we can do is watch from the sidelines to support her. She's too damn stubborn, yes, but that's not what isn't letting us help her. It's her own pride. She has confidence because she can do everything herself. She will never let us help her because this is only between her and James."

"But the way he keeps hurting her makes it seem as if he hates her, Remus, and I don't like the way she always fires back – no matter how tired she is. She's tired of fighting and grieving and I know it; I see her taking pepper-up potions and putting on glamour charms every morning after the morning sickness potion."

"Viv, don't you see? This is an eye-for-eye game. If he hurts her, she will hurt him back. They will not get together anytime soon – James will not say he is wrong and Lily will not admit she is impregnated with his child."

-&-

During Binns' class, she just stared at the little note she had hastily scrawled to remind herself the night earlier.

_Meeting at half-past seven tonight!_

She frowned as she remembered she had to get there early.

Damn! She was going to have to leave right after dinner if she wanted to brush up the meeting's agenda before the prefects were there, concerning the recent patrol skives.

When she was sure nobody was looking, she whispered the glamour charm that kept the pregnancy hidden. She had felt lucky she had found a charm so she did not need to go wear a belt tight – for fear of losing the baby. However, it tried her patience since the charm had to be reinforced every two hours – and in the busiest places.

In his new seat in the back, James saw Lily whispering something at her – he could not tell, since he was in the very back, diagonal to her seat in the front.

What is she doing? He wondered this during the rest of the class, missing the notes on the Massachusetts witch-burning obsession of Muggles in the so-and-so century. His mind had fought with itself, protesting he had no right to care; he was the one who ended things with her.

After restoring the charm, she swiftly looked around the room to see if the other students were still half-asleep. When she glanced in James' direction, their eyes locked. He immediately smirked to say he knew what she did – even though he did not – and she glared back fiercely in defense.

When the class was over, she had rushed out with White and Langston. He saw Remus and Sirius tag behind, chatting, as if nothing had happened – there had been no pregnancy, no breakup between Lily and James, or no breakup between Karma and Sirius.

-&-

Quietly sneaking up to the meeting's location, she checked her time. Only a quarter past seven, her watch read.

"You're here early too?" a voice asked. She recognized it to be James. She jumped at the tone. His voice was no longer kind and loving, nor was it apathetic. He sounded bothered and cross. She was not used to hearing such a harsh tone from him.

"Yes," she meekly said back, "I needed to look over the agenda."

She did dearly hope he would take this time to say something like an apology, to just talk about maybe being friends again, or even asking what had happened – in her view. Suddenly, Lily was tired. She was tired of crying over her grandparents, taking care of the baby, and fighting with him. She did not want to do anything that involved her growing up. She did not want to grow up; being a kid sounded more appealing to her now more than when she was younger – always being told what to do.

Fate always has other plans. She must had been cruel in a past life because he began accusing her of being a sleazy slag – something she had to adjust to only since the week before.

When the prefects came in, they were a bit hesitant since the two Heads would be in there together. They were right when they came in during the middle of their fight. As Lily began the talk about the absence of the patrols recently, she heard James murmur something. She paused and asked in a false, polite manner, "What did you say? Do you have any input?"

He stood up. "You don't need to act all nice around me, miss priss. Yes, I do have input and that is you should have been more discreet when you were sleeping with some other – "

"I did not sleep with any other guy outside of our relationship!" she replied back, her voice harsher than the usual harsh, reprimanding tone she gave students.

"Oh really?" he bit back hotly. "What about that note?"

"I was not even aware of such a note in my bag!" Hot tears were about to form in her eyes and she knew it. She pushed them back.

"Please. Do you think I don't know when to say what is bullshit? And let me guess, your grandparents knew and sent you gifts congratulating on stringing two blokes at once?" he fired back cruelly, watching with regrettable satisfaction.

Lily, getting red in the face, slapped him on the cheek. Hard.

"How dare you!" she hissed. "Don't you know my grandparents are dead?"

James, who was getting ready to retort back, froze. Her grandparents were dead? He had loved them too and now no longer angry, he realized he had gone too far.

She started to cry. Walking away, she wiped away tears as a few prefects looked at Lily with sympathy and James with dislike.

"Lily, where are you going?" Remus started to walk over to her, glaring back at James. Other prefects – mostly seventh – muttered variations of what Remus said and began to chatter.

"I am going to quit." Merlin, her voice cracked. "Since your Head Boy cannot work with me on anything anymore, I am now going to Dumbledore's so he can find a new Head Girl in my place."

As soon as those words hung in the air, she turned. Had she really said that? She had wanted this position ever since she had heard of the position! This had been her goal and now she was going to give up? She knew the answer to that already. Yes, I am giving up since he finds me a thorn in his side.

Remus stopped her. "Lily, don't do that. This was your goal since you were young!"

Hearing that aloud, she stopped. It had sounded so much simpler when she was saying it to herself. Right now, however, was not the time to talk personal. She had to dismiss the others first.

When they were alone, James made a move to apologize. Of course, he must have been cruel in a past life because Maverick came in when he was about to say something. Giving him a deep, sensual kiss on the lips, Lily bid them both leave so they would not see her in such a vulnerable position of mental breakdown.

In her dreams, love was so simple. It never hurt her. He loved her and she loved him. They did not have anyone plotting against them to break them apart.

A kiss was a kiss; a hug was a hug. Love was love.

She was so confused. She felt like she didn't know what was what anymore.

In reality, what was a hug or a kiss? Did they always have meaning?

More importantly, what was love? She used to believe that little statement her mother repeated so often she memorized it.

"Love is like painting. You have a mirage of colors, but only certain ones will build the right picture. You can create a number of pieces, but only one will ever strike you as a masterpiece. Sometimes, our masterpieces are lost. Moreover, while many of our other paintings are beautiful and serene, perfect and special, we cannot simply forget our masterpiece."

She felt she could not believe that anymore.

_What is love?_

-&-

**A/N: Whoa. I cannot believe I updated this fast! Five reviews? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase?**_  
_


	25. Fed Up

_Love Me For Who I Am By-x. by yours truly_

Chapter 25 – Fed Up

-&-

**Disclaimer-I think you get it now …**

-&-

**Thank you to Classy Lady Elegance, grannyHPfan, … (anonymous), MeliBeckie and Silent Once for reviewing!!!**

**Now we fast-forward to the day before graduation. James still hates Lily and Lily is still hurting – over her grandparents' deaths or over James, you choose.**

-&-

List of Main Characters (6)

Lily Evans- 17 years old, red hair, green eyes, 5' 7", Head Girl, pureblood, _James Potter's ex_

James Potter- 17 years old, 6'1", jet-black hair, hazel eyes, Head Boy, pureblood, _Lily Evans' ex_, dating Ira Maverick

Karma White- 17 years old, strawberry blonde hair that goes to her back, clear blue eyes, 5' 5", half-blood, _Sirius Black's ex_

Sirius Black- 17 years old, jet-black hair, chocolate brown eyes, 6' 1", pureblood, _Karma White's ex_

Vivienne Langston- 17 years old, dark brown hair, amethyst purple eyes, 5' 5", dating Remus Lupin, pureblood

Remus Lupin- 17 years old, sandy-colored hair, blue eyes, 6' 3", dating Vivienne Langston, half-blood

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Tomorrow they were all graduating.

She would never see most of them when they all left.

Hogwarts was such a beautiful community inside the school itself; the house competition was always friendly and because of the end of the year, Gryffindors and Slytherins were unusually subdued and civil towards one another.

She would miss the school, too. She loved the fact it looked and _was_ old; when aging, one often seems more realistic when not hiding its true appearances.

Sighing, she resumed her gaze out the window, watching all the other students laugh with no care of the world.

-&-

James wearily pushed Ira's lips off his. Lately, she seemed a lot clingier – yet so distant at others, always blowing him off.

He hated clingy people. They always needed you and made you feel guilty when you let them down. Clingy people always looked for people to depend on and when they found one, they – like Ira – almost never let go.

She looked at him innocently before sighing.

"What will happen to us after tomorrow, Jay?" she asked.

He had to compose himself first before answering. He _hated_ his name being shortened to one letter. Lily had always called him Jamie.

"Nothing, babe," he falsely reassured. _Something is going to happen. It does not matter, anyway. I _will _be breaking up with you tomorrow; that's for sure._

It was not because he did not like Ira – well, he did, but that is not the point – but he hated the fact he always let himself be manipulated into snogging her. He felt used.

-&-

It was time for Lily to go brave the waves of frantic students hurrying to their next class – except the ones going to Potions; most personally did not like Professor Horace Slughorn.

As she brushed past Maverick and maneuvered through her little 'posse', she heard Maverick murmur 'whore' to her followers and James.

The girls giggled while James pretended to not notice.

Lily turned around.

Every time she passed Maverick, she always whispered 'bitch' – not 'whore'.

That was different.

"What did you say?" Lily's clear voice rang out, causing all the laughter and chitchat dull to a silence. Nobody moved; they just gathered around the two who were going, again, to have a fight.

The redhead glanced around. It seemed no one cared about being late to class anymore. They were more into the fight that was going to probably happen.

"I said 'whore'," Maverick repeated.

Lily paused.

"What are you going to say next, bitch? Or maybe you can't hear me since you're deaf?" Maverick taunted harshly.

Lily spoke softly, but loud enough for Maverick and the neighboring James to hear. "Dear Ira, have you lost your mind? Calling _me_ a whore? I'm not the whore this time, Ira, you are."

"What do you mean by that?"

She turned to James. "Now, let us question your boyfriend. Has Ira been distant lately? Does she act overly clingy at other times? Does she blow you off a lot?"

_What is she getting at?_ James could not deny all those were true so he plainly nodded.

As if Lily sensed it needed dramatic flair, she whispered, "Maybe it's because _she_, Ira Maverick, is the one stringing _two_ blokes!"

She finished that in a flourish.

James was about to open his mouth but Lily knew what he wanted to know.

"Who, you ask?"

Ira's face was twisted into an expression of hatred.

"Why, you, of course, James Potter, and _Amos Diggory_!"

Collective gasps filled the hall.

Then Lily hissed to Ira, "Maverick, you were pretty damn lucky when Diggory did not follow up with the rumors or react to anything when you were on _his_ arm."

"Why you –" Maverick's arm shot out to strike her but the nearby members of her posse restrained her.

The fight was ending; every student seemed to know. This time, Lily did not turn out to be the loser – rather, she was the victor.

As all began rushing to classes once again, Maverick touched James' arm gently.

"Jay –"

"No, Ira. We talk tomorrow."

As if nothing had happened between him, Sirius, and Remus, he draped arms over them and said, "Let's go, gang."

_We talk tomorrow._

_Tomorrow._

That sounded in his mind as he continued his day. He just could not believe two girls had cheated on him while they were dating. Actually, it was one because Lily had insisted she had not.

Why did he not trust Lily in the first place anyway?

He did not know.

Wishing he were not in this mess, he realized one more thing – how would he get Lily back? Tomorrow was the last day of school.

Would Lily even want him then?

Did he even _deserve_ the second chance?

-&-

**A/N: Be happy! There's only 15 more chapters! That's the good news.**

**Bad news? I won't be able to finish the fic before my birthday. T.T**


	26. The Speech

_Love Me For Who I Am By-x. by yours truly_

Chapter 26 – The Speech

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**Disclaimer-I think you get it now …**

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**Thank you to kickasschicka, grannyHPfan, Cati, HazelGreenEyes and LunaBella 006 for reviewing!!!**

**This is the day AFTER Lily and Ira argue it out.**

**Sorry for writing so short for the previous chapter. Turns out, now I get a CURFEW. I have to be in bed by ten and _also_, I'm not allowed to go on the computer after dinner – which is unfair. I cannot write a lot with such little time. I will _try_ to make them longer, though it will take a lot longer.**

**By the way, kickasschicka, I didn't get my months wrong. During the Romans or whatever, there were only ten months – which September being the 7th. I don't think that possibility about someone born in September is possible (check chapter one for reference) anymore, but just to tell you, "sept" in September means _seven_. January and February were added much later in the beginning of the year, therefore moving up the 7th month (September) to being the ninth.**

**Oh, and grannyHPfan, Lily's friends _did_ talk about it. It was short, but it is located at the end of the 21st chapter. **

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List of Main Characters (6)

Lily Evans- 18 years old, red hair, green eyes, 5' 7", Head Girl, pureblood, _James Potter's ex_

James Potter- 18 years old, 6'1", jet-black hair, hazel eyes, Head Boy, pureblood, _Lily Evans' ex_, dating Ira Maverick

Karma White- 17 years old, strawberry blonde hair that goes to her back, clear blue eyes, 5' 5", half-blood, _Sirius Black's ex_

Sirius Black- 18 years old, jet-black hair, chocolate brown eyes, 6' 1", pureblood, _Karma White's ex_

Vivienne Langston- 17 years old, dark brown hair, amethyst purple eyes, 5' 5", dating Remus Lupin, pureblood

Remus Lupin- 18 years old, sandy-colored hair, blue eyes, 6' 3", dating Vivienne Langston, half-blood

-&-

Oh, lord.

Today was the day she had always feared – graduation, the day before she would not see most ever again.

She really did not care about all the others, since Vivienne, Karma, Sirius, and Remus would be with her anyway.

What she was worried about was a different matter.

_James_.

What would become of _him_ when they left later today?

Sighing again – she seemed to be doing only that these days –, she readied her speech to open the ceremony.

One ceremony she was not willing to take part in anymore.

-&-

"Ah, and we begin with the Head Girl, Lily Evans, presenting her speech," Dumbledore's voice thundered through the whole room, effectively silencing all the jittery would-be graduates.

Feeling her legs would give out soon; she hurried up – carefully though, since she was worried about her baby.

Quickly, she glanced over the facial expressions of them all.

Some were eager and excited; some were as jittery and nervous as the face behind her own mask was.

"As you all know, my name is Lily Evans and I am Head Girl."

Wiping tears from her eyes shakily, she laughed.

"Anyway, I see many faces in the crowd today. Many of you seem skeptical about the future. That _is_ the problem, right?"

Glancing at her speech for a moment, she continued.

"… Some of you seem upset. Is it because you just broke up with your significant other? What was your excuse? You weren't going to work out?"

She saw many of the students' faces change into ones of attentiveness.

"You shouldn't. Even if you said you both weren't going to work out, at least _try_ before you regret it for the rest of your life – especially when you have a secret that you need to tell him/her. If you don't, your relationship would go turn into zilch."

Her friends knew she was especially referring to herself, she could tell.

"… I am not going to go into all that ridiculous stuff about reaching high for your dreams. You've heard that all already. Just remember, nothing ever works out unless you try. Thank you – that is all."

With that, she walked off the stage.

-&-

"Now for our Head Boy, James Potter," Dumbledore roared out again.

"… As your Head Girl, Lily, said, you should try or you would regret it. Dreams are often dreamt but rarely acted upon – especially love. Try. Remember – there are many ways of breaking a heart. Stories were full of hearts broken by love, but what really broke a heart was taking away its dream – whatever those dreams might have been."

Talking more about that, he looked at the last line of his speech. He could do this.

He did not really _need_ to, right? Nevertheless, if he did not, he would be living in a world of denial – a safe world.

Did he want a boring, predictable world?

He already knew – no.

"… Love is unpredictable – it could be here now and gone the next. This is why I would like to tell my current girlfriend, Ira Maverick –"

He could see the said girl look up.

Lily could not breathe.

"– we are over. If you all were at the performance yesterday, you would know why."

Then, he, too, coolly walked down the stage.

Headmaster Dumbledore led them into the Great Hall, where the graduation dance was beginning.

Lily finally felt she could breathe.

-&-

"We bid the Heads to perform the opening dance for us, please," McGonagall announced.

Lily panicked. Share the opening dance? They never mentioned that!

James indifferently stepped into the center, and waited.

As the first notes of the music came out, Lily recognized it to be the tango. She inwardly groaned. The tango was one of the sexiest dances of all history – with its command for the dancers to be very close to one another.

They positioned themselves. Seeing they were not close enough, Lily came even closer to him – with a familiar smirk dancing on her lips. Her face was expressionless without the smirk.

She was very sorry that she had to place a charm to make the pregnancy intangible at such a time – it was a new experimental spell – but it would make do.

James, with a guarded expression, stepped even closer – reaching the closeness the tango needed.

Nearby people gasped at the intimacy this position formed.

Lily had to concentrate hard to pretend she felt nothing at all.

-&-

_Follow me into my world  
Let your worries fade with every step you take_

She stepped back, being forced to follow James' lead. It was her favorite dance, yes, but she hated being dominated.

With Lily facing James' neck, he found it hard to concentrate. Was it him or was she really breathing hotly at her neck?

_Baby, Whatcha' waiting for  
Let the tango take control_

Lily forgot about everything. It felt so good like this, in James' arms.

_That's how it's supposed to be. Lily and James. James and Lily._

_Feel the music inside your soul (Oh)  
My hand is out, just grab a hold_

Stepping much too quickly for Lily to follow, they had to stop and start again.

She glanced up at his eyes before grasping his hand again.

Listening to the words' convincing tone, she let go – repeating all those steps like she had no partner and James would then secretly join in.

_Like before._

_Watch time fade away  
My arms will keep you safe_

Oh, lord, the song was so corny, yet so true at the same time.

Rhythm.

Others watched. Nobody seemed to want to tango; they were more absorbed in the intensity of the way they kept up the rhythm.

_It's just you and me  
Dancing in this dream_

It was a dream, all right.

It was utter bliss to be doing this like the old times.

She missed him.

_Whatever you do, don't wake me up  
The feelings real, won't let it  
stop, no_

He did not want to stop. This was the closest he had gotten to her since he broke up with her.

The attraction was genuine.

The question, however, was if it was just physical or something else.

_Don't be afraid, take my hand  
Forget the world_

Screw the world.

Wait, was she holding his hand tighter or was it him wishfully thinking?

_Will you dance, dance with me  
Puedomos bailar eternamente_

_Yes_, her mind screamed.

She did not remember when she had began breathing harder but she was sure he knew it.

_Now I have you next to me  
Everything is how it should be_

That was true.

Them dancing together _was_ normal.

Their partners were always supposed to be each other – nobody else understood which move was next like they did.

_Baby, don't fight the feeling  
We're floating on the clouds,_

_He's dangerous_, she wanted to protest.

She wanted to fight back with her mind but giving in was ever so appealing.

_If I could I'd never come back down  
Baby, Let's just keep on groovin'_

They kept on moving as if in their little private world.

It seemed like an eternity since he had this chance.

They could forget about everything in dancing. Right now, they were James and Lily – two teenagers who were happily in love.

They were _not_ James and Lily – two teenagers who broke up.

_As time fades away  
My arms will keep you safe_

Ira seethed in jealousy. She could not believe Jay had just publicly humiliated her.

She would not retaliate anymore, though. The anger had simply seeped out.

Her mysterious benefactor – her mother's new boyfriend and her _real_ biological father – had just told her to owl him so he could support her financially. _Address it to me as TMR_, he had said.

_It's just you and me  
Dancing in this dream_

It _was_ just them.

He could have easily kissed her then, but she had spun.

Then he remembered it was part of the routine.

_Whatever you do, don't wake me up  
The feeling's real, won't let it  
stop, no_

He could almost feel the urgency in the singer's voice and understand.

He raggedly took a breath and continued.

_Balance. Remain balanced!_

_Dance with me  
(I'm dancing with you)_

Hearing the singers' urgent, desperate voices meld together, Lily knew it would be dangerous if she stayed after the dance.

Reminding herself to depart quickly, she almost tripped.

_For this moment in time  
(My dreams have come true)_

This moment would be gone soon, they both knew.

He wanted to talk to her after the dance.

_Dance with me  
If only for one night_

Glancing at her hair, he finally noticed it was tied up – no strands hung there.

He wasn't used to that. She always let her hair roam free – as she called it.

He wanted to find that stubborn one strand, brush it away from her gentle, loving face, and then whisper to her loving things.

Then everything would be all right.

_Don't be afraid, take my hand  
Forget the world  
Will you dance, dance with me  
Puedomos bailar eternamente_

They ended, panting – locked in a stare.

As soon as James opened his mouth, she broke apart from his warm, strong arms and ran away.

-&-

**A/N: Whoo! A fast update! It's longer this time; I actually took time to elaborate – sort of. **

**The song is _Dance With Me_ by Drew Seely ft. Belinda from the movie _Cheetah Girls 2_. If you check my homepage – at the end –, you'll find a link leading to the movie music video version of the song. That's where I _tried_ to give description.**

**Lol, now what do we know about Ira and Karma? Yes, they ARE related. Freaky. They're like yin and yang because even though I didn't mention it, it's really logical that Ira and Karma are fraternal twins. They just lived in different places. Karma's the nice one while Ira's evil. I don't think it will turn out to be of much importance because I don't have much of an idea to develop yet.  
**


	27. Early

_Love Me For Who I Am By-x. by yours truly_

Chapter 27 – Early

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**Disclaimer-I think you get it now …**

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**Thank you to futurePOTUS, kickasschicka, blah, and DolphinDreamer24-7 for reviewing!!!**

**Lol, kickasschicka, I had to learn it last year for social studies. Blame it on him. Yeah, without February there would be no Valentine's – a tragedy to the world of Lily/James. In addition, without February, I would not have a birthday! So we are all glad there_ is _a February, right?**

**The anonymous speaker (blah) is right. I confused it. It _was_ July and August added later. I am _so_ bad in history, no matter how much my friends insist I'm not (they might be saying that so they could just be copying my math homework, though).**

**This is one month after graduation, about. Lily does a lot of running, does she not?**

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List of Main Characters (6)

Lily Evans- 18 years old, red hair, green eyes, 5' 7", _James Potter's ex_

James Potter- 18 years old, 6'1", jet-black hair, hazel eyes, _Lily Evans' ex_

Karma White- 18 years old, strawberry blonde hair, clear blue eyes, 5' 5", _Sirius Black's ex_

Sirius Black- 18 years old, jet-black hair, chocolate brown eyes, 6' 1", _Karma White's ex_

Vivienne Langston- 17 years old, dark brown hair, amethyst purple eyes, 5' 5", dating Remus Lupin

Remus Lupin- 18 years old, sandy-colored hair, blue eyes, 6' 3", dating Vivienne Langston

-&-

A month after graduation had done no justice to her ever-growing stomach. She was now about seven months along.

She was grateful Sirius had offered to room with her and Remus. Vivienne and Karma shared the flat next door – in case Lily needed girl talk.

She mainly lived with the boys because Remus could not cook and Sirius would not even bother. The other reason, of course, was these two would be great role models for her baby who was not going to have a father.

She did not like to think about that fact. Apparently, James had moved out of his family home and rented another flat on the other side of Hogsmeade. This, Lily was grateful for, since Hogsmeade led to larger magical communities where meeting him – even by accident – would be unlikely.

She was _not_ ready to see him again. Actually, she had not seen him since she ran away from him during graduation.

Bloody fool, she was.

-&-

"Hello?" asked Sirius, finding the flat's door ajar.

His 'hello' echoed through the walls.

Suddenly scared, he went through the rooms.

_Karma!_

Just when he had mentally screamed that, she came out – yawning.

"What is that bloody racket Viv – oh! Hi, Sirius!" she said nervously. "What are _you_ doing here?"

He raised his arms in defense. "Whoa, there, babe! The front door was open so I was worried," he explained.

"Oh, then," she said disappointedly, squashing that itty, bitty ray of hope in her heart – he had just called her babe!

_Do not even go there, Karma. You do not want to go through that again._

"What's wrong?" Damn him for being so observant whenever it was concerning her.

"Nothing."

"Don't bullshit me with that nothing!"

"Well, Sirius, are we friends?"

"I guess so."

"No, Sirius, are we _really_ friends? Or are we just acquaintances since your friends are mine and vice versa?"

"The latter, I suppose. Why ask?"

"Sirius, we don't talk anymore like we used to. I miss it," she looked down.

"We didn't talk a lot even _when_ it was like that. We shagged more than we talked," he pointed out.

"But we were a hell lot better at communicating than now!"

"Well –"

"Look at us, Sirius," she said gently, "we're acting like kids, avoiding one another and talking to each other when only necessary."

"Then what do you want?"

"That's the problem, Sirius, I don't know."

"Can we start over?"

"I suppose."

"Hi, I'm Sirius Black," he said, stretching out a hand.

As she started to shake it, he ran it through his hair. "Psyche!"

"Sirius!" she laughed and began chasing him.

They toppled onto a bed with Sirius on top. Karma blushed.

Sirius noticed and teased, "Scared of what I'll do to you?"

Karma bit her lip.

"Actually, I'm scared that I might not want you to stop," she replied breathily.

He grew serious. "I don't think this is a good idea, me and you with a bed …"

She smirked a little. "Tempted?"

"I'm only human nowadays," he said wolfishly and wistfully.

"Just a kiss," she stated firmly.

"Just one," he agreed.

It led to more.

There, they found the reason of why they broke up – it was not that they did not love each other enough; it was the fact they had not tried hard enough to stay together.

_Just like Lily and James._

In the midst of them making love, Karma fervently wished everything would be okay between her friend and the one Lily dearly loved.

-&-

When Vivienne came in, she was surprised – but not alarmed – that the house was quiet.

However, she did stumble upon two naked people in the room where she and Karma shared.

She then shrieked – waking them up –, "Ew! Karma! Sirius! I cannot believe you DID THAT in OUR ROOM! Nonetheless, MY BED!"

She was secretly glad they were together again, however.

-&-

Lily walked alone into the Muggle baby shops. They sold clothes of all sorts but she was not looking for that.

Toys. She needed to get toys that her baby boy would like. Boy, because she had asked the Healer to identify the gender of the baby.

How about a toy broomstick?

Making the purchase, she stepped outside.

Maybe she should not have taken that step out so soon. Just then, a rude passerby shoved her almost into the street where she tripped and fell onto the sidewalk.

Her body ached and protested when she tried to get up. As soon as she felt like she was about to burst, she knew she had stumbled upon her worst current nightmare.

The baby was premature.

_Oh god, please let the baby be all right – it's three months early!_

-&-

Vivienne and Karma panicked when they got that call about the Healer-disguised ER workers sent her to the St. Mungo's Hospital.

Rushing over, they shoved the Healer down with questions.

The Healer, apparently in a bad mood, sharply stated, "No questions."

Karma fired back, "Oh, just shove that up your a–"

Vivienne slapped her hand over her mouth and politely asked, "How is she?"

Glad someone _finally_ was polite, she answered, "She is in labor right now. All you can do is wait."

"McKinnon!" a voice called, making the Healer jump.

"Longbottom!" Vivienne and Karma called back.

"What are you doing here?" Alice asked curiously.

"Lily is having her baby right now!"

"You cannot be serious."

"We are – and the baby is three months early."

"How'd _that_ happen?"

"Apparently, someone shoved her and she fell."

"Please let her baby be delivered safely!"

-&-

Fourteen hours later, an exhausted Lily finally was able relax and hold her new baby son.

"Harry James Potter," she said aloud. 'Potter' would be on the birth certificate but around everybody else, he would be Harry Evans. She did not need the father to know. That would cause another series of problems.

However, there was a chance he would come back and create a family with her.

Just as she said that, her friends came in excitedly to congratulate her.

Scanning everybody in there – her parents (who were not exactly happy nobody told them their youngest daughter was pregnant), her sister carrying a pudgy baby, her sister's husband, Karma, Vivienne (whom Remus proposed to the very same day), Remus, and Sirius – she noticed somebody was missing.

_James_.

Even though he would not have been welcome, she was surprised Sirius or Remus had not told him. When she questioned that, they shared a quick glance Lily noticed.

"Lily," Remus began in his most soothing voice, "James is not here because he is on a plane."

"A plane? To where?"

Sirius swallowed. "To an Auror training base in Australia. We don't know when he'll be back."

"But when did he sign up?"

"He signed up last-minute last week. You weren't talking to him so he figured it would hurt less you weren't in the same vicinity he was in."

Her throat went dry. All dreams of him coming vanished. The familiar feelings of loneliness came rushing back.

_We don't know when he'll be back._

-&-

As Lily held her baby, she looked out at the window and saw a plane.

Looking at the head that was sure to grow black, messy hair, she asked in her mind, _Will he ever meet his father?_

As James shifted in his seat on the Muggle plane, he glanced at a window, which had a familiar dot of red in it at St. Mungo's.

_Could it be?_

Before he could lean closer to the window to look closer, it was too late. The plane had taken liftoff and he was going to Australia.

-&-

**A/N: Another chapter done! Whoo! Review please!**


	28. The Mysterious Unknown Biological Father

_Love Me For Who I Am By-x. by yours truly_

Chapter 28 – The Mysterious, Unknown Biological Father of Him

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**Disclaimer-I think you get it now …**

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**Thank you to coreagurl, DolphinDreamer24-7, grannyHPfan, HazelGreenEyes, Classy Lady Elegance, Kate, and IloveLJ for reviewing!!!**

**DolphinDreamer24-7: James _will_ probably want her back. ;P he loves her too much.**

**Classy Lady Elegance: I _know_ the ending was a little unrealistic ;( I was watching a movie. Yes, let's blame the movie! ;)**

**grannyHPfan: James is utterly too absentminded to, I guess. And Sirius and Remus don't tell everything, I guess.**

**Kate: Yes – James, don't go! Stay! OH, GOD, POTTER, YOU HAVE TO STAY! YOU NEED TO SHAG LILY BECAUSE HOW ELSE WOULD POTTER JR. GET HERE?**

**IloveLJ, HazelGreenEyes, coreagurl: Thanks for the reviews!**

**Now it is five years later. James comes back as Harry turns five. Hogwarts sweethearts Remus and Vivienne are married but they probably won't be later on. _Anyway_, Sirius and Karma are still dating, but they will not be together probably for the whole story. You'll see in the epilogue but that's about 11 chapters later so don't worry about that.**

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List of Main Characters (6)

Lily Evans- 23 years old, red hair, green eyes, 5' 8", _James Potter's ex_

James Potter- 23 years old, 6'5", jet-black hair, hazel eyes, _Lily Evans' ex_

Harry Evans-Potter- 5 years old, 3'4", born premature so was mute for the first two years of his life, doesn't know about his father, jet-black hair, green eyes

Karma White- 23 years old, strawberry blonde hair, clear blue eyes, 5' 6", with Sirius again

Sirius Black- 23 years old, jet-black hair, chocolate brown eyes, 6' 2", loving Karma again

Vivienne Langston Lupin- 22 years old, dark brown hair, amethyst purple eyes, 5' 6", Remus Lupin's wife

Remus Lupin- 23 years old, sandy-colored hair, blue eyes, 6' 3", Vivienne Langston's husband

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A worn, rugged figure stepped out of the Muggle terminal. Easily handling three bags in one hand, he deftly helped others get their luggage out.

He still looked the same but something about his character changed. There was no longer that easiness in the way he moved and talked; he spoke with absolute hardness that had been shaped in him during his training.

Calling the Knight Bus by waving his precious wand, he briefly thought about what had happened all these years. All that training was a test of not only his physical endurance, but of his own naïve, weak self. He had seen things that turned would have turned his teenage self's stomach the other way around – he had seen blood, gore, and people dying in the worst way possible: an agonizingly slow speed was always set.

What had happened to his friends? He had kept in touch, of course, but there was one more person he needed to know about. The petite redhead who used to be a constant in his life had never written to him and he had never written to her.

As the bus pulled up, the lanky teen pulled him up. "Where to, sir?"

Smiling genuinely for the first time in what seemed to be years, "Hogsmeade, and call me James."

-&-

Lily finished signing the form in a flourish and handed it to her former headmaster, Albus Dumbledore.

"Thank you for hiring me as the new Muggle Studies professor, prof – sir."

"No problem at all! You will be staying at your own flat instead of here, yes?"

"Oh, yes, sir. My mum can't handle Harry alone. He's so adventurous nowadays …"

With that, she stood up, fixed her crisp, white shirt, and walked down the staircase of his office.

As soon as she left, James Potter came in. Sitting down, he could feel his former headmaster's gentle gaze on him.

"You are here about the Defense Against Dark Arts position, I assume."

"Yes, professor."

"Please, call me Albus or if you wish, sir. Lemon drop?"

"No thanks, pr – sir."

"Let us get onto business, then."

Signing and making small talk, he finished in a similar way the previous occupant had done. Leaving with Dumbledore having a cryptic smile playing on his lips, he noticed a bob of red go the next corner about five meters away.

They had just missed each other, he realized.

_If only I arrived earlier._

-&-

James was back, her mind thought. Once she saw the impressive height, she instantly recognized him. All her inner emotions concerning him let themselves be known to her – she wanted to love him again.

Exiting Hogwarts and its illustrious history, she wandered around aimlessly in Hogsmeade before finally stumbling in front of an elderly gypsy.

"My name is Arabella Figg," she said, "Care to see your fortune?"

Normally, she would not have done something but she was upset so she relented.

Giving out her palm, Arabella examined the white skin. Finally, she spoke.

"You have an interesting future ahead. Right now, you have some old emotions coming back. Give in to them. Later, let go. Your ex is very handsome, but he is not the one. You _will_ marry a different man … and be happy."

Impressed by the accuracy of her words, she bluntly asked, "How did you know?"

The old gypsy shrugged. "I do not know. I do not question these things. I do sense it to be a powerful magic, which I believe is extraordinary since I am a Squib. I can sense people's futures either clearly or blurry – depending on their characters. You, m'dear, have a very strong will and that is what led me to be drawn to a vision of your future."

Lily then asked, "How much would this – "

The old woman cut her off. "Nothing. If it is a strong future I sense, it is nothing."

There Lily left, leaving the old woman to smile wisely.

-&-

"We begin this new Hogwarts year with two new professors for Defense Against the Dark Arts and Muggle Studies," Dumbledore began.

"We bid them to stand up," McGonagall's strict voice spoke.

"Meet your Muggle Studies professor, Professor Lily Evans," and Lily stood up.

James stared at her. She was still that petite, short woman but her long hair was all tied up. Not a hair was out of place and no flaws were shown. She seemed to be emotionless to all the applauding, like a statue. She seemed more beautiful – he could tell she was wearing a skirt under her robes, revealing a hint of those long legs.

It seemed just yesterday he had been kissing her in the first snowfall.

_Things change._

He almost missed the cue for him to stand up.

"Our new Defense Against Dark Arts professor, Professor Jimmy Neutron!" Minerva announced.

Lily snorted. He was such a copycat, whoever this man claimed to be. She had done the same thing five years ago and could tell he had on glamour charms.

Amateur.

She scanned the faces she knew – who could be this attractive, oh-so-familiar man? As all applauded, she stopped on one person.

Bloody tartars. It could _not_ be him.

But, lo, here he was.

"Actually, I'm James Potter," he said. Looking up to see McGonagall nearly exploding, he called out to her, "Sorry, Minnie! I know you were expecting Remus or even _Sirius_, but I'll tell them to come next time!"

At the end of the feast, he looked around for Lily but did not find her.

She was already gone.

-&-

September passed into October and the most contact they had with each other was either apologizing for colliding into each other or asking to pass a certain food at the table.

On a Hogsmeade weekend though, the two pairs of sweethearts – Remus & Vivienne and Sirius & Karma –, Lily, and Harry bumped into James – who was chatting up Rosmerta to get a free drink.

"C'mon, Rose, give me just _one_ drink! I'll never drink again!" he pleaded.

"No, Potter, last time you begged that, you boozed yourself up the very next day," she sternly wiggled a finger. "What happened to the society of males who now believe it not noble to beg for alcohol?"

"I'm desperate! Just a drop of butterbeer!"

"Potter, you are going to have to get your own money out to buy drinks."

Fine," he gave up and then he saw the five and one more.

"Padfoot, Moony, Wh –Karma, Lang – Vivienne, L – Lily! Care to introduce me to the little fellow?" he nodded to the little boy. Funny, he looked so familiar with that hair …

"James," Lily kept her voice steady, "this is my son, Harry Evans." The others felt they needed the time alone so they left.

James knelt down and shook Harry's hand, ignoring the fact Lily seemed to be keeping something from him. "Hey, little guy," he said gently, "how you doing?"

As Harry spoke, he examined his face. Harry's facial features reminded him of somebody he knew mixed in with Lily's.

Who was the father? He felt like he should ask but he did not want to get tangled up with her anymore. Then panic rose in him. Was she married?

"You married?" he asked Lily, gesturing towards the boy who was now sitting down at a table.

"Nah. He was the product of me and some guy I met after Hogwarts. Nobody important," she lied. Her mind stared at his body and then started to mentally envision him unclothed.

"Oh," he drew back but in his mind, he found a completely new opportunity with her.

"Boyfriend?" he choked.

"Nope. I'm too busy to have a relationship nowadays, especially taking care of Harry as a single mother." She did not want to be drilled into this but she knew she had to.

"Parents fine?"

"Yes. Now tell me about you, James. You've been asking about my personal life so now it's quid quo pro."

"I've been in Auror training for five years? We're not done here, Lily, and now tell me how you've _really_ been doing."

"Why? You're just one of my exes. I don't have to tell you."

"I'm the different ex – the one who was your best friend. So now I'm asking, as a friend, how you are."

"I'm tired, I guess – who isn't? Harry's father wasn't there – since he left earlier – when I was giving birth."

"Who's the father?"

"What?" She should have expected that, she knew, but it was still a surprise.

"The father, Lily?"

"No – nobody special."

"Liar."

"Well, why would I tell you," she asked defensively, "It's not important. Drop it."

"Look, we both know I left you because I wronged you – but I still care about you," he tucked in a loose strand of her hair, closing the distance between them.

"You wronged me? Ha! That's the understatement of the century! You broke my heart, James – trampling and ripping it to shreds. You weren't there when I needed someone most. You weren't there to visit and relieve me the pressure of taking care of Harry. You weren't there to comfort me and make me stop crying. Last of all, you weren't there to listen to what I had to tell you. You _left_, James, to that stupid training program to get away. You were selfish. Ever think of how _I_ felt?" She turned her heel and took Harry out of the Three Broomsticks.

As soon as she Apparated to the flat, she saw Narcissa there, escaping from Lucius' abusive ways again, take Harry by the hand along with her son Draco to play. Narcissa hugged Lily as she put her head on Narcissa's shoulder.

Lily began to cry.

-&-

James had just stood there, motionless. When his friends offered him a drink, he shook his head. He wasn't thirsty anymore.

It had been days since they had talked.

Days had turned to weeks and those weeks turned to months.

All the while, Lily was still hurting and James had just one question in mind.

_"Who was the father?"_

-&-

**A/N: Whoo! Another chapter!**


	29. I'm the Father?

_Love Me For Who I Am By-x. by yours truly_

Chapter 29 – I'm the Father?

-&-

**Disclaimer-I think you get it now …**

-&-

**Thank you to kickasschicka, DolphinDreamer24-7, Nelly Potter, Classy Lady Elegance, OnceUponaTime170, futurePOTUS, Cati, and grannyHPfan for reviewing!!!**

**Okay, now for the most frequently asked question – is Arabella crazy for saying she will fall in love with somebody else?**

**No, she is not. I worded that purposely and it will be answered in a few chapters later … it's either chapter 37 or earlier. **

**The other FAQ – how can James not notice the resemblance between him and Harry? **

**James is very oblivious. These things happen, not frequently – I think – but it does happen.**

**Oh and about Narcissa – she was mentioned before, so now she's mentioned again since it's sort of important. It _would_ be more important in the sequel, but then I decided no sequels.**

**Thank you for loving this story! It is my first chapter story, after all.**

**By the way, I am beginning two new stories which are companions named _Cindeprince _and _Princerella_. If you want to read it, check it out! They will both be updated the same day and it is in an alternate universe where they attend a high school with no magic. It will be created next week, February 21st at latest ('cause that's my birthday!).**

**It is the basic Cinderella story switched. It was originally for my writing project but then I was able to revise it to fit into the world of Harry Potter. James Potter is the "Cinderella" while Lily is playing "prince". Think of those two as a revision of Used To.**

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List of Main Characters (6)

Lily Evans- 23 years old

James Potter- 23 years old

Harry Evans-Potter- 5 years old, born premature so was mute for the first two years of his life

Karma White- 23 years old, with Sirius again

Sirius Black- 23 years old, loving Karma again

Vivienne Langston Lupin- 22 years old, Remus Lupin's wife

Remus Lupin- 23 years old, Vivienne Langston's husband

-&-

_The doorbell rang. Lily told Harry to finish reading _James and the Giant Peach_ before opening the door wide open. _

_James stood outside of the door holding some flowers – a bouquet of marigolds. _

_She did not move for a moment before blurting out, "What are you doing here?"_

_He shifted uncomfortably and handed the flowers, eloquently saying, "Er, these are for, um, you."_

"_What are you doing here, James?"_

_He gulped visibly_. _"I wanted to take you and Harry out for dinner – as an apology for what happened last time we met."_

"_What makes you think I'll come? Who told you where I lived, anyway?"_

"_Sirius said you needed a distraction from teaching the pompous Slytherins so here I am, your distraction."_

_Lily could not speak. James ran a hand through his hair, making Lily wish she could do that but she knew she had lost the right._

"_Will you come? I have reservations already at the Red Crab," he said, breaking her thoughts._

_The Red Crab. That brought back old memories she did not want to remember. Dating James was the past, she reminded herself. There was no need to begin the very pitiful heartbreaking she had been doing when they graduated._

"_Sure," she said absentmindedly before realizing what she said._

_Oh, what the heck, she thought next. One dinner would not hurt, would it?_

"_Come on in."_

_Harry spotted James and instantly said hello. James smiled back and they began chatting about how logical it would have been to make the giant peach in the book even larger so more insects could join in their journey._

_Lily walked into her own room and began to change into something presentable for the Red Crab. _

_Pushing through the rack of clothes in her small closet, she brushed pass a certain dress she remembered wearing five years ago. She picked out a white, ironed shirt along with a skirt of some kind of blue shade. _

_James walked into her room just as she finished changing. _

_James nearly groaned seeing her dressed like that. Did she not know how sexy she looked with that shirt? That shirt could make many men wonder what was under, he knew – he, after all, had been there before._

_Lily glanced at her bedroom dresser quickly and as if by chance, she noticed Harry's birth certificate laying on it. Didn't she put it back the last time she took it out? Apparently, not, her mind answered. _

_Right now, the important thing was to keep the birth certificate away from James. What if he saw it? She did not want to face the humiliation of lying to him in the first place and then the humiliation for keeping the baby afterwards because of her dream that he would come back to take care of her._

_She also did not want James to ask her to marry him. She knew how he thought; if he found out, he would propose to her instantly. It was not that she did not want to marry him but more that she did not want to marry him just because of the child they both made. She did not want him to be rotting away in a loveless marriage where it is only to take care of their child._

"_Nice bedroom," he said, nodding at the girly stripes on the wallpaper with the big bed and colorful quilt._

_Lily decided to not beat around the bush anymore by saying, "Cut the crap, James. I am _not_ looking for a relationship from you or anybody else."_

_He looked surprised. "How did you know what I was thinking about?"_

"_I was your best friend _and_ girlfriend, remember. I know almost everything about you."_

"_Well, I don't know everything about you. Remember? I'm a 'worthless blast from the past', from your own words." His voice did not change from the eerily calm tone it had but she knew he was very angry._

"_Hello? You are not the victim here, James. You were not the one who was left to deal with her own pregnancy with nobody helping her at all."_

"_Funny," he drawled, "I always thought you thought yourself as strong and confident, like the mighty David against Goliath."_

_She hung her head in humiliation. Those were her old thoughts and dreams when she was talking to James when they were little. It felt so embarrassing; having all her private secrets spilled into something she knew was not true. Had she not realized she, herself, was not as strong as she portrayed herself as? _

_She must have looked ready to cry because he suddenly apologized. "Look, Lily, I'm sorry. I know I went a bit too far. You know what –"_

_He never did finish because he had spotted what Lily feared – the birth certificate._

"_What's this?" he asked, lifting it up. "Birth Certificate of Harry … Potter?"_

"_It's nothing," she desperately answered. "Give it back to me!"_

"_Why does this say Potter?" he questioned curiously. "Did you sleep with one of my cousins or something?"_

"_No!" she exclaimed. "Give it back to me! IT – IS – NONE – OF – YOUR – BUSINESS!"_

_He held it out of her reach and she stopped reaching for it. After all, it was no use._

_He stood there, frowning, as his hazel eyes scanned the paper. It was no joke – the seal was on there and had strong magic, which could be deflected upon the one who decided to try to tamper with it. It read as followed – _

_Biological Mother _… Lily Evans

_Biological Father … _James Potter

_Forgetting there was a child a few rooms away, he turned and roared at Lily, "What the fuck – I'm the father?"_

-&-

So here Lily was, sitting across James and next to Harry in the Red Crab. She speared a pasta shell guiltily, unable to meet James' eyes. After scanning that, she had meekly agreed to his insistent consent to take them out to the Red Crab to know Harry a little better.

"So Harry, where are you going to school now?" James asked, forking spaghetti into his mouth while observing the five-year old. Harry had perfect speech and behavior. That was not normal for such a young kid like him. Harry had obviously been left alone with a grandparent too long while Lily went to work. This was not fair. If only he had not broken up with her he would have still had the little kid he had dreamed of – a boy with messy table manners, crooked step, and unsteady speech.

"I'm attending some Muggle school," said Harry with his mouth open before swallowing, "and I'm not allowed to use magic in school or at home since mummy says Muggles could easily find out we're magical folk."

He nodded and asked, "What do you want to do when you grow up?"

Harry paused for a second. "I want to become an Auror, maybe. They get free ice cream."

James laughed shortly. "Being an Auror is a lot more than just getting free ice cream. You have to be strong, too."

"But I am strong," he insisted, "see?"

"I meant strong in your head," James tapped his forehead, "You have to be able to not be squeamish about different things."

Staring at Harry's untouched plate of veggies, he added, "Aurors have to eat their vegetables too."

"Oh," Harry said, staring at his vegetables, "maybe I don't want to be an Auror anymore."

Lily lovingly rumpled his hair, making James wish it was _him_ she was still doing that to, "Honey, you're still going to have to eat your vegetables whether you're an Auror or not."

James wanted to hold Lily's hand and reassure her he loved her right there but there was an extra person there. It was not that James did not like Harry; it was just this prevented him from doing those risky things like kissing her spontaneously and wildly in the restaurant. Lily often seemed to use Harry as an excuse to avoid James. Harry just ruined their privacy and totally prevented him from jumping her right now for a child should not be witnessing his parents – biological ones, at least – doing it like rabbits at such a young age.

The dinner conversation had died away, leaving them in another awkward pause, while Lily busied herself by helping Harry get more spaghetti.

They finished dessert – chocolate mousse – silently James fiddled with his hair before abruptly calling for the check. Lily suddenly protested, "Here let me pay. After all, I did lie to you …"

He glared at her. "Paying for dinner is not going to cover a lie, _Lily_," he said her name as if it were venom. It seemed just yesterday he was moaning her name, being coaxed by her with a kiss.

_Things change._

He paid and that was that.

-&-

James sighed as they stopped in front of Lily's Sirius-and-Remus-free flat, since they had insisted she needed more privacy and time with Harry. In reality, all they wanted to do, Sirius explained, was be able to shag his girlfriend without being interrupted.

As Harry ran inside, James and Lily hung out together in the front of the house. Lily was about to go in, too, but decided to stay out in the warm spring air with James to apologize.

"Look, James, I'm sorry I lied to you about the real father," she began.

"Sorry isn't good enough," he said back bitterly, not looking at her. It hurt Lily because he had backed away, further from her, making her feel colder and lonelier inside.

Then she saw the way he would glance at her ever so often and her breath hitched. He was not angry or disgusted by her; he was just as physically affected by her like before.

His eyes were whirling in a dangerous sea of lust and desire. Her voice caught at her throat and she desperately tried to keep talking so she would not think more about kissing him and then tumbling into his room, and finally sharing his bed with him for the night.

"I – I should be getting ba –"

She did not continue when he suddenly kissed her hard, licking her bottom lip, trying to tempt her to open her mouth and let his tongue slip in. She relented, allowing James to back her up against a wall. He did not kiss her rosy lips anymore but began kissing the lovely, delicate features of her face – her closed eyelids, her nose, and then finally diving for her lips again. She responded, with their tongues flickering. She could feel something on her inner thigh and was sure of what it was.

When he murmured against her lips, "I've missed this," though, she suddenly broke apart from him, angry.

"How _dare_ you take advantage of me?" she lashed out, not because she was angry with him – but because she was furious at herself. She hated herself for giving in to her own desires – she was a mother now, for heaven's sake! She could not just be selfish again; she had a son! It was not only herself anymore – there was still Harry to take care of.

She ran … leaving James back at the wall of her flat – smiling what Fate had just given him.

Fate had given him the chance to see that Lily's feelings about him had not changed; they were still going strong.

He stayed there for a while, looking up at the window where Lily's room was. With the light, he could see her lithe form sliding off her pieces of clothing. He then saw her in that flimsy nightgown, looking out at him. She had an expression of deep longing on her face when she found his steady, kind gaze. Then it turned into one of anger, as if she had just remembered what happened. She shut the window, and turned off the light.

It was then when James left the flat, going back into his Muggle car. He looked up wistfully back at the window, and then drove away, leaving them both to think about that kiss – that kiss full of longing and lust, showing how they still wanted each other.

-&-

**A/N: Yay! Happy Valentines' Day now! By the way, not to be nosy, how are _you_ spending _your _Valentine's Day? I know I'm going to be eating candy … **


	30. I Want To Know Him Better

_Love Me For Who I Am By-x. by yours truly_

Chapter 30 – I Want To Know Him Better

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**Disclaimer-I think you get it now …**

-&-

**Thank you to grannyHPfan, DolphinDreamer24-7, Nelly Potter, sharnie, and Whitelight72 for reviewing.**

**By the way, just call me Vivian. You don't have to go and call me x. readingthatbook, since that's a tad too long. Also, it sounds weird, 'cause my real name is Vivian. So just, call me that … **

-&-

List of Main Characters (6)

Lily Evans- 23 years old

James Potter- 23 years old

Harry Evans-Potter- 5 years old, born premature so was mute for the first two years of his life

Karma White- 23 years old, with Sirius again

Sirius Black- 23 years old, with Karma again

Vivienne Langston Lupin- 22 years old, Remus Lupin's wife

Remus Lupin- 23 years old, Vivienne Langston's husband

-&-

"Stop it!" Lily giggled, as James' fingers found their way to tickling her stomach. "Stop!"

"Aw, you're no fun," he protested. Then, he slowed down his tickling, making Lily relax her stomach muscles until he started to full out tickle her again.

"James," she squealed, "I swear, you need to stop!"

"You know," he began wistfully, "I remember a time when you were screaming for me to _not_ stop."

She sat up from her position on the floor and looked at him indignantly.

"I know, I know, you want me to stop talking right now because you want us to only be two friends who never dated, had sex, and produced baby Harry."

"James, when we set the terms to this agreement, you knew it wasn't going to sound like that."

"But I miss it," he said truthfully, "I miss the fact I can't just kiss or touch you anymore. You're just off-limits now because you keep on reminding me you have a son. Whatever! I don't care. The fact that you're single and haven't been with anyone since me makes me want to forget that and just make love to you right now. I'm going crazy."

It was true; his body was automatically responding to her like his hormonally unbalanced teenager self and he kept on trying to touch her everywhere, but still giving her space. Many times Lily thought about giving in to him stroking her skin. For example, right now his hands were jumping from her hips to her thighs; from her thighs to her face; from her face to under her shirt, playing with her navel. She groaned, motioning him to stop. His hands stopped roaming those "safe" areas and he looked at her with his breath, raggedy. His eyes seemed glazed over, like all those other times they were at her flat while Harry was still in school alone.

"James, I told you. I am not in for a relationship right now," she said sternly.

"Lily, I told you. If I can't just kiss you right now, I'll go crazy and force you into something I don't want to make you do," he mocked, seriously.

"Just a kiss, James? That can lead to a lot more, leading to a hell lot of new problems to solve."

"Please, Lily," he pleaded earnestly.

She unconsciously bit her lower lip. That was all the initiation James needed before kissing her gently. Then Lily made a tiny noise of satisfaction and that was when things went gentle and caring to passionate, hot, and dangerous. He had laid her back on a nearby couch and began kissing her more eagerly, bringing her tongue into the kiss, so it was not one-sided anymore.

As soon as James unbuttoned her blouse though, she realized what she was doing and said, "James, stop."

He did not listen – in fact; he went to unclasp her bra.

Trying to not get too affected, she loudly said, "James, _stop_ it."

Normally James would just seduce her back into a sex-craving state but something about her voice made him want to please her. He lifted his own body weight off of her, making her feel cold, and began buttoning her shirt back up. She shrugged his arm around her but on second thought, she let it stay there.

He hugged her so tight it almost hurt and murmured brokenly, "Don't play with me, Lily. Every time it's always like this – I would kiss you, things would lead further, and then you would stop."

Then he let go reluctantly and walked into the kitchen to get what he always wanted everyday – a cup of tea –, just leaving Lily there looking after him.

-&-

Two minutes later, carrying his cup of tea, he came in, saying casually, "I want to take Harry on a trip."

"What?" she asked, not understanding how he could shift into some other emotion so quickly.

"I want to take Harry on a tour in the States," he said, as casually as before.

"Why?"

"I'm his father … is it against the law to get to know one's son better?"

"No," she replied hesitantly. "James, it's not that I don't trust you, but …"

"Fine, I'll take you along too! If you want some time alone and I'm busy, we could bring Mrs. Doubtfire to baby-sit."

Since James had invited her _and_ Harry, she knew he knew she did not have any other excuse to not come.

"Which state?" she finally asked.

James grinned, knowing he had won this time. "I was thinking Virginia."

"Why Virginia?" she wanted to know.

He just shrugged. "I felt like picking that state, I guess …"

Lily had a feeling that he had something planned and she did not like it.

If James was thinking he could woo her during the trip, he got it wrong. She was _not_ going to be succumbing to the blissful love of James Potter.

Too bad actions speak louder than words.

-&-

_Why did I agree to go on this tour again?_ Lily kept on thinking as they sat there on the plane. Harry was excitedly sitting next to her and Mrs. Doubtfire – who was forced to come along at James' insistence – asking about the plane, as it was his first time.

Lily was sandwiched in a four-person row. From left to right, it was Mrs. Doubtfire, Harry, Lily, and James. She was not sure why James wanted to sit next to her; she had made it clear she was remaining celibate for the whole trip.

She was, _however_, very sure that there was a certain person's hand on her thigh. It could not have been Harry because that would have been gross. It only left –

"_James_," she hissed, "get your hand off my leg!"

"Oh, sorry," he breezily replied, "my hand just slipped."

She scoffed. _Yeah, right._

Next to her, Harry burped – causing many others to look at him. She sighed.

This was going to be a – in that clichéd way everybody says it – _very_ long flight.

-&-

The tour guide's name was Gina. She was pretty and young, but even Lily had to admit that her lectures were boring.

"Virginia is a very beautiful place. It was also one of America's first thirteen colonies. Today, the area of Virginia is …"

Lily lost track and kept staring out the window with James next to her – he had insisted on sitting next to her so that Mrs. Doubtfire could do her job, which was, of course, baby-sitting Harry.

Finally, they took a stop at the caves' entrance. First entering the gift shop to browse so that Gina could buy tickets, Harry pointed at a colorful sign to his mother.

"Look!"

Lily looked. She read the sign.

_Virginia is a place for lovers._

James saw it too.

Neither said a word.

-&-

**A/N: Ten more chapters! And it's my birthday, the 21st. It would be nice to get reviews, for reviews equal my birthday present. **

**It would be nice to get up to 200 reviews before this fic is done …**

**Not that I'm insinuating anything …**


	31. Him and His Son Bonding

_Love Me For Who I Am By-x. by yours truly_

Chapter 31 – Him and His Son Bonding

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**Disclaimer-I think you get it now …**

-&-

**Thank you to kickasschicka, HazelGreenEyes, futurePOTUS, DolphinDreamer24-7, Nelly Potter, grannyHPfan, KrazyCandy, and Classy Lady Elegance for reviewing!  
**

**Thanks for wishing me a happy birthday. I spent my day being burnt by the hot glue gun.**

**About Virginia – the sign about "Virginia is a place for lovers", I didn't know some of you live there. The sign _is_ there though, on the tour in the summer – which I updated extra as a treat – I came across this sign and have been aching to use it in a fic. **

**kickasschicka – I swear, you must have been reading my mind or something about the 32nd chapter. Some of it actually happens! (Well not really, but one of them does.)**

**HazelGreenEyes – I think you'll like this chapter, too.**

**FuturePOTUS – funny, my cousin said the same thing about me being subtle, announcing my birthday like that.**

**DolphinDreamer24-7 – good luck with marrying Sirius … make sure I'm invited to the wedding :)**

**Nelly Potter – they will be together soon, hopefully. Maybe some reviews will spur me on …**

**GrannyHPfan – I hope Mrs. Doubtfire isn't a guy, actually. Harry wouldn't be able to take it, leaving him to turn into some perverted creep in the future.**

**KrazyCandy – James is very insistent and is the prime example of perseverance – after all, he _did_ keep asking Lily out…**

**Classy Lady Elegance – that movie was funny. I loved it, too ... especially when he was pretending to be different people asking for the baby-sitter job. **

-&-

List of Main Characters (6)

Lily Evans- 23 years old

James Potter- 23 years old

Harry Evans-Potter- 5 years old

Karma White- 23 years old, with Sirius again

Sirius Black- 23 years old, with Karma again

Vivienne Langston Lupin- 23 years old, Remus Lupin's wife

Remus Lupin- 23 years old, Vivienne Langston's husband

-&-

_Gina, shut up. Let us eat already!_ Lily wanted to scream, as they entered the extravagant, elegant restaurant. James pulled them into a small table near the back.

Taking the menu, Lily pretended to study the choices because she already knew what she wanted. She glanced at James, who surprisingly caught her gaze with a tender look.

Embarrassed, she looked away. She did not want that to happen again. For all she knew, he could be getting his revenge back for not telling him she had been carrying his baby.

Shaking her head, she reasoned with herself. James would not do that. She was getting more paranoid by and by every minute, she thought. James would never do something like that.

Would he?

With that startling thought, she abruptly sat up straighter. James calmly called the waiter over, saying, "One chicken special, one macaroni and cheese, two Fettuccini Alfredo's, and four glasses of iced tea, please."

Lily fumed. How did James know she wanted the Fettuccini Alfredo, along with him?

-&-

It seemed that their table was bad luck since all of a sudden, half the visitors left for something or other.

First, Mrs. Doubtfire left to go visit the loo.

Next, Harry's mother received a call and left by apologizing, "Sorry, I have to take this."

This left James and the boy whom he wanted – at least – joint custody of.

"So Harry," James began awkwardly. He cringed when he found he did not have anything else to say.

"Mr. James," said Harry, whom he had naturally began calling him since he met him, "can I ask you a favor?"

"Yes?" James said, kindly. He loved looking at Harry, seeing which traits were his and which were his supposed-to-be-wife-by-now's. He just hoped Harry would not be discovered to have inherited his intolerance of Slytherins.

Taking the chance, he examined him closely. His facial features were a mix of his and Lily's, while Harry had his messy hair and her laughing green eyes. Harry's eyes were not laughing now, however; they were serious.

"Will you marry my mummy?"

-&-

_What?_ James was certainly surprised. He did not foretell Harry asking him to marry Lily. It was not that he did not want to – he really did, it was because he did not know what to say back. He did not want to sound eager and idiotic but he also did not want to pat Harry on the back and smile, "Sorry, son, no can do."

"Um … Harry," he said again awkwardly, "I think there are certain circumstances disallowing me to do so."

"Like what?"

"Well, Harry. One, I don't have a ring to propose her with, two, it is almost a ridiculous idea, and three, your mother might not want to marry me."

"I just want my mummy to be happy," Harry said, sinking back down in his chair. Upon chance, Lily came back from the call and stopped dead, listening to their conversation, starting from 'Will you marry my mummy'.

James shook his hair ruefully. "Harry, your mother can take care of herself. I'm sure she knows what she wants."

"My mum used to cry a lot," Harry said matter-of-factly. "She always goes next door to see Auntie Vivi and Auntie Karma, leaving me with Uncle Siri and Uncle Remus. I like them, of course, but Uncle Siri's jokes are getting a little too old. Then she would come back and I would ask her, 'Why are you crying, mummy?' She would then answer she wasn't crying. I don't get it."

James laughed at the bit about Sirius. He hadn't seen him or called him since he whisked Lily to Virginia. James looked away guiltily. How were you supposed to tell a child you were probably the reason she cried?

"I don't know why she cries so much though. She never lets me see. She thinks I can't see but I can. It's somewhat linked to this guy, I think," Harry fumbled through his pockets, producing a tattered moving photo.

James took it from his hand and stared. He caught his breath. The photo was of _him_, seventeen years old, sitting on a branch looking out to the lake. He was smiling and ruffling his hair with one hand and holding out a bouquet of flowers to something below the tree with his other hand.

"_Let us celebrate the first week of Hogwarts – it's finally over!" shouted Sirius._

"_Please, Sirius," smiled Lily, "You just want to get boozed up without taking the hangover potion right after."_

"_Got that right," he smirked, before spilling a container of butterbeer onto James and Lily, who shrieked. James just climbed up a tree and handed her some flowers. They both smiled shyly._

"_Quit the eye thing, you little in-denial lovers," said Sirius. Vivienne and Remus stared at him and then at James and Lily. Karma 'tsk-tsk'ed them. _

_Later that afternoon, they both decided to shower. "Who goes first – you or me?"_

_James grinned wickedly. "You know, we could always shower together …"_

_Lily blushed and shook her head. "James, just because we had an environmental convention in fifth grade with somebody saying 'Shower with a friend' does not mean it applies to our situation." She gave him a playful shove. "Now, get out. As your best friend, I have the authority to shower first, you pervert."_

"_You know what I always say …" he grinned._

"_Yeah, yeah, whatever. Was it something about you being proud of it?"_

"_Hey, that's my motto and don't you forget it!"_

He could almost cry. He remembered this picture. He looked so damn carefree and _happy_. He was so moved by the picture that he almost did not hear what Harry was about to say.

"He looks like you, I think," Harry scrunched up his face a little, "except you look older."

"Where did you get this?" James asked, giving back the picture.

"Mum doesn't know but I sort of stole it from her dresser," Harry said uncomfortably.

"Why would you do that?"

"Because … I thought she would be more happy without that picture," he said, his voice getting smaller and smaller.

"Listen, Harry," James began, "I'm not going to yell at you for stealing, but I'll have to say don't do it again, okay?"

Lily smiled gently, almost feeling confident enough to tell him she still loved him – almost being the operative word.

James then turned around and saw Lily. He smiled, "And for _you_, missy, stop eavesdropping and start eating; it's getting cold."

-&-

Lily squirmed uneasily in the hotel room, trying to ready herself to knock on the bathroom door, which James was currently occupying. Gina had given the four two rooms, leaving Harry to sleep in the same room with James and Mrs. Doubtfire with Lily. Because they were traveling together, Gina had arranged for them to have an adjoining bathroom.

James let her in after he came out with no indication of what he was feeling whatsoever. However, as soon as she came out in her sleepwear – a large T-shirt which used to be James' and a pair of shorts –, James stopped her from going into the room where Mrs. Doubtfire was currently reading a story to Harry.

"Lily, we need to talk."

-&-

A/N: Sorry for not updating for so long – I was working on a project of some kind of biosphere … anyway, it was really tedious and I began to write less often, since I was so busy exerting my energy into a project which still looked pretty crappy in the end …

**Next chapter: Lily & James talk. The whole scene is of them in James' (and Harry's) bedroom. Ooh, I wonder what will happen ;)**


	32. He Finds Out

_Love Me For Who I Am By-x. by yours truly_

Chapter 32 – He Finds Out

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**Disclaimer-I think you get it now …**

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**Thank you to grannyHPfan, Nelly Potter, HazelGreenEyes, DolphinDreamer24-7, and Bubb1eTea for reviewing!!!**

**DolphinDreamer24-7: Frankly, I'd like to stick with the old-fashioned way of just a small protest with posters hanging around. ;D By the way, don't you think Susan Shiner/Shinner (is it?) is going to steal dear Robbie Jarvis from you? 0.o**

**HazelGreenEyes: Gina is that talkative tour guide … she can talk a lot, but she seems to know her information, doesn't she?**

**grannyHPfan: heh, heh. Harry will probably not want to know what his parents were doing, actually. ;D**

**Nelly Potter: It DID help me write faster … a bit. So thank you:D The talking was pretty difficult to invent though I had some idea already.**

**Bubb1eTea: Harry IS cute. He is so adorable … but when he grows up, he's going to turn into an angsty teenager who believes Ginny is the one for him. But she isn't. Hermione is (in my world, doesn't have to be yours). So might as well enjoy Harry now.**

-&-

List of Main Characters (6)

Lily Evans- 23 years old

James Potter- 23 years old

Harry Evans-Potter- 5 years old

Karma White- 23 years old, with Sirius again

Sirius Black- 23 years old, with Karma again

Vivienne Langston Lupin- 23 years old, Remus Lupin's wife

Remus Lupin- 23 years old, Vivienne Langston's husband

-&-

"_Lily, we need to talk."_

"Um, okay," she reluctantly sat down on the bed, across from James.

Then she realized the situation and squirmed, "Maybe we can talk about this another day, since it's getting late –"

"Sit," he commanded. She sat, feeling as if he was her owner while she was his pet dog.

"So … what do you want to talk about?"

"Tell me about Harry."

Lily tried to collect herself and decided to tell general facts. She laughed nervously, "We all know Harry is five years old, born on July thirty-first."

"What does he like?"

She began a detailed description which was unheard by James, who was not listening at all.

"Lily … what about us?"

She was a bit peeved that he had cut her off and it showed as she swallowed. "I … I … I don't know what you mean."

"Yes, you do," he bit back.

"No, I don't," she retorted, as forcefully as he had done.

"Yes, you do. I can tell you still want me."

"_Just one kiss? Is that necessary?" Lily asked, after exiting Honeyduke's, leading to a deserted alley._

"_Why, Evans, you want more?"_

"_No, I was just wondering why you wanted a kiss … from me, nonetheless."_

"_I deserve one from the biological mother of Harry, don't I? For good luck?" he implored, smirking._

"_Fine."_

_James began, nipping at her lip gently, before delving in the taste of her mouth. It felt so good, having her soft figure mold into his own rigid frame. She was not really responding and not really being neutral in the kiss. It seemed like she was torn between kissing him and realizing she still liked him or not kissing him so she could maintain at least a safe level of normalcy._

_He broke apart from her, disappointed. Where were those other heated kisses they had shared? Craving one of those kisses, he challenged her._

"_Is that what you call a kiss? Obviously, you haven't been out much lately."_

_She pushed him away from her, her skin already turning red. Good, he had made her angry. Now, he only hoped she would exert that energy into a kiss he wanted._

"_Fine, you want a _real_ kiss," she lashed out, "Here!"_

_Then she flung herself at him violently, bruising his lips with her nipping teeth. Her tongue did nothing to calm down his own passion, in fact; this only made him want her more. She ground her pelvis against him and worked her tongue onto the roof of his mouth, making him groan, and tighten his arms around her. She had already flung off his glasses, making it easier to bite his tongue not too gently and not too roughly. _

_Unfortunately, for James, the kiss ended as soon as it had come. Lily had torn her lips away from his with her breath ragged. She was about to walk away; unable to register they had just shared a kiss that looked like they were having hot, passionate sex with their clothes on._

_James pulled her back to him and after checking to see if anybody was looking, he pushed her against the brick wall and kissed her hard again._

_She didn't run._

She denied that fact and looked away. James tried another tactic.

"Lily," he implored, "tell me about the pregnancy."

"Why," she questioned warily.

"I was the one who actually, you know, did the 'thing' … and besides, I'm his father. I deserve to know."

-&-

"I don't feel comfortable talking about it." It was true. She still had occasional nightmares, which ended up with screaming and either Sirius or Remus holding his hand on her forehead, while the other called the girls over. Harry would be sleeping, hit with a light drowsy charm.

"Tell me. C'mon, Lily, I'm here. What happened to all those times when you used to come to _me_ when you had some sort of trouble?"

"You _dumped_ me, that's what happened," she firmly stated, turning away.

James sat on the bed closer to her, with his thigh brushing against hers every now and then. He put his arms around her and said in her ear, "Don't change the subject. Tell me, honey."

His hot breath had done its effect – it weakened her resolve.

"I was walking home after I was buying toys for Harry. Then, a person was in a hurry and knocked me down. Contractions hurried in and I was rushed to St. Mungo's. The baby was premature. It was only six months, twenty days old. It was supposed to be an autumn baby. Because somebody bumped into me, the baby was born deaf. I couldn't stop bleeding after the baby was born. Healers couldn't stop it. Alice came in, even though she had given birth the day before. She had slipped herself a Pepper-Up potion, even though it endangered her well-being. She fainted. I gave birth with Karma or Vivienne beside me because they took turns. Vivienne couldn't watch. She was crying the whole time. I hated myself, because I had to pretend the hand I was squeezing was yours and for endangering Alice. I was stupid enough to think you would come after you'd heard about the pregnancy. Then I heard you had gone to Australia. All I could remember was the blood and –" Lily couldn't speak anymore. She was crying in his arms, hating herself for telling the story in the first place. This memory was not his and she should not have told him it.

James would have given anything – even his own life – for the past five years to hold her like this again. She was crying and making his shirt wet with her salty tears but he did not care. He hugged her tighter, his arms almost crushing her but Lily thought it felt so right, even though it was so wrong because she promised herself she would remain celibate, since Harry did not need rumors about his mother being a scarlet woman.

-&-

Her breath caught in her throat as she tried to gather herself together. "I'm sorry for crying on you like this."

He touched her cheek with his hand wistfully. "Don't be."

"I almost forgot to tell you what Karma said one day, claiming I was stressed out."

"What she say?" James asked, edging Lily gently onto his lap, as he kissed her collarbone.

She tried to ignore his attempts to ardor her up, but it was ineffective. "She said I should _get off_."

Lily laughed humorlessly, "Ironic, isn't it? I try to remain celibate and she's telling me to go find a willing, silent one-night stand."

He nuzzled her ear lovingly. "Give us tonight, Lily."

"W – what?"

"One chance. After this, we can either forget or remember this. It'll the one-night stand you need. After this, we can never mention it again. Come on, honey, it's your chance to get off, so to speak," he repeated, carefully slipping his arms back around her waist. Then they went under her shirt; searching for whatever restraints she was currently sporting, listening to her breath quicken at the touch of his cold hands on her flat stomach … and higher. She sighed with bliss as he kissed her neck, sometimes nipping at where her neck and shoulder met, and sometimes just resting his chin on her shoulder, looking at her face.

She wondered why he was not going further until she realized he was letting her say what was what.

"Okay," she said softly and he began devouring her lips.

"What if I hurt you tonight?" she asked worriedly, as they paused for breath.

"You can't hurt me tonight, Lily," he laughed bitterly, "it's tomorrow that might be a different story."

-&-

The next morning, James woke up, with his hand searching for the sure to be naked, curvy body that had stayed with him last night. When he could not find her, he panicked and then remembered what she could have done.

In frustration at himself, he talked to Sirius via Floo. Sirius' head popped out and grinned.

"Hey, mate, where's that I-got-some look?"

James buried his face into his hands, unable to look at his best friend.

Sirius' face contorted to an expression of sadness. "I'm so sorry, James," he said quietly, "I didn't know Lily was strong enough to even do that."

He felt so empty. James roared with fury and punched his fist into the wall. He did not care if it hurt. The pain felt good, making him focus more on the physical pain than on the fact Lily had run away.

Again.

-&-


	33. Please?

_Love Me For Who I Am By-x. by yours truly_

Chapter 33 – Please?

-&-

**Disclaimer-I think you get it now …**

-&-

**Thank you to Nelly Potter, DolphinDreamer24-7, Whitelight72, kickasschicka and grannyHPfan for reviewing! I'm almost up to 200!!! That was my utmost goal … I won't be expecting 300 soon.**

**Anyway, about Harry being deaf, I think of that as one of the reasons why he acts so mature, in addition to Lily working all the time, leaving Harry with her parents. Some grandparents are hell-bent on making their grandchildren well mannered – like mine. **

**Unfortunately.**

**That chapter _was_** **pretty upsetting, especially since Lily's in her 'running' phase again. This is Lily's odd way of payback to James, who believed a flimsy piece of parchment over her.**

**Her running stops, I assure you. It's just that … Lily is an amusing, mysterious character I had always regarded in the HP series. It's fun to mess with their heads ;D**

-&-

List of Main Characters (6)

Lily Evans- 23 years old

James Potter- 23 years old

Harry Evans-Potter- 5 years old

Karma White- 23 years old, with Sirius again

Sirius Black- 23 years old, with Karma again

Vivienne Langston Lupin- 23 years old, Remus Lupin's wife

Remus Lupin- 23 years old, Vivienne Langston's husband

-&-

The trip for James to know Harry was finally over. Even though Lily had assured herself she was relieved, she had not expected feelings of regret.

After James departed and Mrs. Doubtfire had dropped Harry off at his grandparents', she tumbled into the flat Vivienne and Karma shared.

"Oi! Vivienne! Karma!" Lily shouted.

Karma was in her room, looking at some papers, "Vivienne isn't here; she's out with her lover boy."

"Oh," Lily said, though she was not to be deterred, "I wasn't looking for her. Karma, we haven't had a talk alone since third year. If you're not busy, you wanna go out to the coffee shop across the street?"

Karma looked surprised. Where had _that_ come from? Lily usually dedicated her free time to spending time with Harry or by herself, making it evident that Vivienne and Karma would not be as important or as big in her life as her son. This was what Karma had feared the most; Lily and Vivienne were too busy with their own lives – Vivienne with her marriage and Lily with her kid (not that she hated Harry) – to worry about the last one, the extra wheel. Karma had came closer to Sirius this way, by spending so much time 'talking' with him – even actual talking.

Karma hesitated. "I still have some paperwork to get through about Healer things – oh, what the hell, I can do that another day. Let's go."

-&-

The café Lily had mentioned was very quiet and much to both of their likings. After ordering food, they sat in a mild silence, occasionally stirring their drinks and observing the scenes outside. Finally, Lily spoke.

"You know, Karma, I finally took your advice."

"Which one? The one about working too hard or the one about the one night fuck?"

"The one where you told me to get off."

"Oh my goodness …" her hand flew to her mouth, "Who was it?"

"Mmph."

"Lily," began Karma, gently, "staring into your coffee cup like it has a sex scene in it while you say the name does not help."

"Right, sorry."

"Now," Karma said, before spearing some food into her mouth, "tell me."

Then, as Karma and Lily ate, Lily spilled out all her troubles and thoughts about that one nightstand she was unwilling to let go.

-&-

"Do you still love him, Lily?"

"I don't know, Karma; too many things have happened for me to really tell."

"You do have to remember _he_ still loves you. It's a matter of whether _you_ are going to tell him you reciprocate his feelings."

"He still dumped me and that's still very hard for me to accept the fact that he made a mistake."

"You know, mistakes aren't mistakes until you don't bother to fix it. Remember, James is only human. He couldn't have possibly had that much time to think about whether to believe that paper or not. He took the risk and ended up losing you. Again, remember, James has a short fuse, just like you do."

"Karma, I can't just go around telling him, 'Oh, since I'm so sexually deprived, I'm going to have a physical relationship with you. Then, all the neighbors' tongues would wag and tell Harry his mother is a scarlet woman.'"

"Be reasonable. Something like this can't be that exaggerated. C'mon, _sexually deprived_ and _physical relationship_? Who uses that to say what they want anymore?"

"You get the point, right?"

"Of course I do. Now, since you look so miserable, we're going to drag you and Vivienne to the new club."

"You're kidding me, right? No way am I going to go into a club and come out _smashed_."

"Please …"

"Don't do that – no! Resistance is weakening! Fine! Fine! Just don't do that sad puppy face!"

"Yes! Now to convince Vivienne."

-&-

"Whoo! I love this club!" shouted Karma over the noise. "The music is fantastic!"

Vivienne rolled her eyes, "If that loud noise _is_ what you call music."

"What did you say?"

"I said, the music is too loud!"

Then, as Vivienne thought the reply to be cliché, she answered back, "I can't hear you; the music's too loud!"

Karma then stopped dancing, all sweaty and tired, and headed where Lily was currently just sitting there, weakly trying to push away some burly drinker who was trying to take her with him.

"Get away from her!" she snapped, slapping the punk in the face. He glared and left, while Karma took his seat and examined her friend, who was beginning to look woozy.

"Hey, Lily," she greeted gently, "how are you holding up?"

"I'm fine," Lily slurred, trying to get her words through her hiccups, "Don' y'all be worryin' 'bout me, I'm fine s' I'll jus' stay righ' here …"

Then she nearly went out cold, hiccupping the whole way. Karma cursed, before recruiting Vivienne and showing her Lily's state. Vivienne groaned and hooked an arm under one of Lily's arms, while Karma did the same on her other side.

_At least Vivienne was smart not to drink and I'm able to drink a lot before looking positively smashed_, Karma thought while she blamed herself for Lily's current condition.

-&-

By the time the trio had arrived back at Lily's flat, the Marauders had put Harry to sleep. As soon as they came in, Sirius immediately congratulated them for getting Lily – finally – drunk. Remus helped Vivienne get Lily to the bathroom, when she was to be washed up under her friends' care. James just stared at the scene, not saying a word.

By the time Remus had thrown her onto her bed, Lily was acting giddy. The five sober ones – Karma, Vivienne, Remus, Sirius, and James – were observing her giggle and ask something very surprising.

"Can I kiss James? Please?" she giggled happily, reaching her arms out to the blurry yet familiar presence of said guy.

"We'll just leave you two alone then," Remus awkwardly but politely said, ushering two certain-to-be voyeurs out of the room.

"C'mon James! _May_ I kiss you? Now?" Lily begged.

"Sure," he relented, smiling – half happy he would be able to do this and half sad that she wouldn't remember it – before lowering his lips onto hers.

"Mm," she sighed blissfully before going into first base, "that feels good."

"I'll have you know that it should," he mock glared, "Other girls tell me I'm a master at this certain base … and others, too."

"Shut up," she groaned as he began kissing her clavicle, "more kissy, less talky."

"Fine," he said, their lips still touching, "don't blame me if we go score that homerun."

-&-

Oh, good. It was still nice and quiet … and she felt so good, too! What exactly had happened last night? She stretched out lazily, inadvertently alerting James Lily had wakened.

He propped an arm up and kissed her eyelids, making her breath show she was awake.

"Morning, Lily."

"Hi, James – James! What are you doing here?"

"Apparently, I'm naked in your bed, getting ready to get down and dirty with you since certain witnesses want an encore."

"James, don't expect me to accept when you try to bloody propose."

"How did you know I was going to – how do you say it – 'bloody propose'?"

"It's evident. I'm sorry, but yesterday night … it doesn't mean anything to me."

"Yes, it does," he said, growing angry, "and goddamn it, you're so selfish, hurting me like this. Don't push me away every time. And you know I'm going to propose but you'll say yes. You _will_ say yes. Just wait and you'll see."

With that outburst, James angrily left the bed, making Lily wish she had had more blankets.

-&-


	34. Planning

_Love Me For Who I Am By-x. by yours truly_

Chapter 34 – Planning

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**Disclaimer-I think you get it now …**

-&-

**Thank you to grannyHPfan, d0rkface., and DolphinDreamer24-7 for reviewing! Argh! So close – only one more review until 200!**

-&-

List of Main Characters (6)

Lily Evans- 23 years old

James Potter- 23 years old

Harry Evans-Potter- 5 years old

Karma White- 23 years old, with Sirius again

Sirius Black- 23 years old, with Karma again

Vivienne Langston Lupin- 23 years old, Remus Lupin's wife

Remus Lupin- 23 years old, Vivienne Langston's husband

-&-

When James had left the room, he was too angry to think about the flat being empty – Harry was being taken sightseeing to distract him from knowing of what his mother did last night – and that he was not wearing anything.

This meant there was nothing hiding down under. When he finally realized that, James angrily walked back in. He quickly grabbed his clothing, relieved that Lily had left the room. If she had still been in, he would have had to bite back his own pride. Not because he had to come back in because he embarrassingly forgot his clothes, but of his temptations. He had always known she was addictive and his own temptations were not only to be put into consideration. There were _her_ desires. From what he could gather, she still wanted him – not only as shag, but she seemed willing enough to forgive him for believing a piece of paper, instead of the girl he had known his whole life.

What about the proposal plan he needed to create? He had said she would say yes without thinking about it, but was there anything he could do right now?

He was so retarded. He had spoken without thinking. What was he thinking? She wouldn't say yes to him. She would never agree to marry some bastard who hurt her in the first place.

Then he realized something else. He hadn't broken up with Lily because of that parchment. He had been scared of commitment. He didn't want to think about what would happen after Hogwarts. And look at him now, a twenty-three year old boy who still hadn't figured out what he wanted in his life. He had ruined five perfectly opportune years running away from commitment.

Idiot! He couldn't yell at himself right now. He had to think of a way to convince Lily to love him openly again, because he was being stupid the way he had been evading obligations. Once, he was scared of being tied down to only someone else. He had always been the kind to fool around – before he began dating Lily. Lily had some sort of way to keep him at her heels, which was how that relationship had become his first longest and most successful in all of history.

The relationship that had sunk.

If he had argued with Lily about this, he knew what she'd say. They had an argument about something similar before – when they were fighting with each other once before they were dating.

_"Why won't you leave me alone? You hint to me you like me but I don't see any move!" Lily shouted, trying to keep away those tears pushing at the back of her eyes._

"_I'm scared, that's why! Look, we're best friends. If we date and break up, things will be awkward and we won't be friends anymore. I don't want that to happen!"_

"_Look, Ja – _**Potter**_, when you love someone, you would go over every obstacle. You wouldn't care about facing anything you're afraid of. In love, those things don't matter!" Then, she walked away from him, trying not to spill tears over a stupid boy._

-&-

James knew Lily was right. To be scared of commitment wouldn't do him any good. It didn't matter, his fear. But he was so scared of waking up next to the same person for the rest of his life. What if his significant other had an affair? What if she demanded divorce? What if she was a harpy, sucking out all his enthusiasm? What if she tore him apart after separation?

What about children? Would he ever find his children boring? Would he ever be angry enough to raise a hand against them, so they would forever cower in front of him? What if his children grew to hate him? What if he stopped wanting to hug her again?

-&-

He raised his head abruptly, meeting Lily's eyes. She sighed and sat next to him, carefully not making any contact with him.

"Hey," he greeted.

"Hi."

"What is going on with us?" he asked softly. "We used to be able to talk and laugh instantly – as soon as we saw each other. Then when we were fighting, we knew we would forgive each other the next day. Then we went out and we'd kiss and laugh a lot. But look at us now – we keep having sex and then you would run away, leaving me to curse the hell out of the daylights. What happened?"

"Look, James. You did some bad damage to me, but it's not just your fault. I should've told you I was pregnant the first time. Even though we broke up and lost contact, I knew you'd find about the child. You're smart enough to do the math. I know that."

"If I had known, I would've accepted that and helped you get through it. You know that. I was stupid, scared of being with the same woman forever. I may have been scared, but I would've been helping you. You didn't have to live with my mistake, ruining your life with _my_ mistake. It was my turn to do the charm and you were biting your lip and you know how crazy I go when you …" he trailed off, watching her bite her lip. He stared pointedly at her mouth.

"Right. Sorry."

"Come here," he said and she sat in his arms. "This seems about right, for now."

"I was so scared the night I brought Harry home. He was silent, so instead of me expecting a cute baby learning to talk in about ten months, those ten months were silent. I was so fucking scared because I didn't know what was wrong with him. You don't know how relieved I was to have him finally speak at age three, saying 'mama'," she murmured.

"I lo –"

"No, don't say it. I wouldn't be able to go through this commitment again."

"A wise woman once told me if you love someone, it doesn't matter," he said, pressing his cheek on her neck.

"I know. But, I can't. I really can't. I'm late for an appointment," she lied, knowing James knew she was making it up.

He watched her rush out and called, "Run now, Lily. But you can't hide from me forever."

-&-

"… then what should I do?" Lily shouted, "You say you want to take care of Harry but don't want joint custody. What does that mean?"

James secretly grinned. He had finally wound her up enough, in the most public place known – the Three Broomsticks.

"You shouldn't have to be a single woman for the rest of your life! I love you! Why can't you just believe me?"

"Because you were the one who believed some crap on parchment saying I was cheating on you!"

"I already apologized for that and you forgave me! Why do you have to try to keep fanning the flames? Why can't you just forget that and remember I love you?"

"I'm a single mother with a broken heart. If I keep on doing this, I'll die! Everybody will spread rumors, letting everybody think Harry's mother is some scarlet woman – or better, some prostitute on the streets! What should I do, then, genius?" She didn't want to be here, arguing with him. It hurt, a lot, to be fighting against what she really wanted. She had listened to her heart, once, and it had gotten her in trouble at high cost. Didn't he know she was so scared, at eighteen, to have a baby? Lily hadn't been prepared to develop the strong feeling to keep her baby out of harm. She hadn't been able to read a book to learn about how it feels for a baby to grab her thumb, to hear the steady breathing against her breast, or feel so helpless when the baby couldn't stop crying. She was so tired, tired of arguing, so tired of doing this. She wanted him but she tried to reassure herself that she was doing the right thing to ensure Harry's future. She didn't want to be throwing around words with James; she wanted to throw appointments away to spend some quality time with _their _child. But it was the right thing to do and the right thing didn't always have to be what made you happy.

Was it? She was thinking so hard that she missed what he threw back next.

"MARRY ME, THEN!" he bellowed, in a furious outburst.

"Fine!" She wanted to cry into Vivienne's or Karma's arms and listen to them comfort her. She would Apparate after this. Yes, that would be what she would do.

Then James' face relaxed. "Good, that was what I was hoping you'd say."

-&-

**A/N: How was that? Six more chapters!!! Next chapter, I'm going to put a poll to ask which story you want me to write next. I'm only giving you about four or five titles. No summaries. They're going to be a surprise ;D**

**I'm in love with the song, "If You're Not The One" by Daniel Bedingfield, again. I'm also in love with the song "What Hurts The Most" by Rascall Flatts. **

**For "If You're Not The One", tell me. Have you ever heard another as beautiful, emotional, and desperate? I love it! That's basically the song I was listening to during this whole chapter. Now, I'm going to go do my Elizabeth Cady Stanton report. It's due 4/12/07. Wish me luck!**


	35. Making It Known

_Love Me For Who I Am By-x. by yours truly_

Chapter 35 – Making It Known

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**Disclaimer-I think you get it now …**

-&-

**Thank you to ****grannyHPfan****Nelly Potter****, and ****DolphinDreamer24-7**** for reviewing! Congratulations to ****grannyHPfan****, who was the 200****th**** reviewer!**

**Lol, surprised by what happened to Lily? She's getting hitched! I'm so excited!**

**Oh, and here's another theory for Harry's temporary deafness – remember that intangibility charm (that I was so smart to make up xD) in Chapter 26? That's probably a side effect.**

-&-

List of Main Characters (6)

Lily Evans- 23 years old, apparently James Potter's fiancée

James Potter- 23 years old

Harry Evans-Potter- 5 years old

Karma White- 23 years old, with Sirius again

Sirius Black- 23 years old, with Karma again

Vivienne Langston Lupin- 23 years old, Remus Lupin's wife

Remus Lupin- 23 years old, Vivienne Langston's husband

-&-

"Lily, are you there?"

No. No, no, no. _James _could not be here, in her parents' mansion, knocking in front of her room, where they had shagged countless times. No. He just couldn't! It was … a violation of privacy! That was what it was, it was a total violation, invasion, and embarrassment! Imagine, if you had been proposed to and you accepted without knowing, you _would_ feel the same way Lily was. That was why she was currently sitting on her bed with a pot of chocolate and ice cream next to her, so she could begin a sob-fest. Unfortunately, a sob-fest usually consisted of one person, commonly a teenage girl crying over a boy, hysterically dehydrating all that stuff inside her body.

It did _not_, however, include a boy insistently knocking on her door, trying to get in. It also did not involve the girl smiling foolishly as she marveled at how much the boy cared about her.

It _could_ involve with the girl growling and hitting herself for thinking about the boy in such a positive way. In addition to that, it could involve the boy still pounding on the door before, even though he wasn't supposed to.

She then decided what she needed was a refreshing shower, so she quietly rummaged through her closet for a suitable top and pants before she sauntered into the adjoined bathroom. There, she stripped off her clothing and let the water run down her naked body.

Meanwhile, James had stopped the old fashioned, 'Let's knock until the person on the other side gets so pissed he/she gives in,' tactic and decided to use one of the simplest unlocking charms.

"_Alohoroma_," James whispered at the door, before silently gliding in. He half expected her to be sitting on the bed, curled up in a ball, unwilling to speak to him. He heard the shower running, so he opened the door and went in, making Lily jump as she immediately shut the shower and grabbed a towel.

"Hey, Lily," he began conversationally.

"James," she sighed with exasperation, "What are you doing here? Didn't I tell you to leave?"

"Yes, but when have I _ever_ listened," he counted back, watching her blush at realizing the exposure of her body.

"Can we talk after I change? Please?" she begged, as she reddened more, trying to reach her clothes. He gave them to her and walked out of the door, leaving it ajar.

"I'm waiting right here," James stated, before plopping onto her somewhat girlish bed. He waited.

She stared hard into the mirror, looking at herself, as if it were the first time. She noticed she had dark circles under her eyes and her skin was pale from all the stress. James seemed healthy and more mature, so unlike in school. Now, she could tell his movements were not that brash and he did not play pranks on the people he disliked.

_I love him so much; it hurts._

She sighed, when she realized there was no way to prolong dressing so she thought, _What the hell, let's just get on with it._

The redhead came out and sat down in a nearby chair, clutching a worn, raggedy, and familiar teddy bear.

"Would you have said yes?"

"About what?"

"You know what I mean."

"I don't know," and she looked so forlorn that James just had to go and hug her since she looked so confused like a little girl going to choose vanilla or chocolate ice cream.

"Um," he said awkwardly, "I should get go –"

"James, kiss me."

"Are you su –"

"Just kiss me. Please. I won't run away this time," she promised, burrowing her body into James' and feeling his arms envelope her before looking her straight in the eye with an absolute clarity.

"You can't keep on using me like this, Lily," he said, wanting things to be straight, "and I won't let you, either."

"Just this once. Please."

James' heart fluttered. "Okay."

He kissed her with an incredible intensity, which made her toes literally curl. It stirred something deep down in her and she knew she was going to have to tell him after this snogging session.

It was the right choice and nobody, not Karma or Sirius or even Arabella the gypsy, was going to stop her.

It had been too long of a time since she had done something truly right and something she truly wanted. Harry was important in her life and so was James. She just had to choose between them. Forever raise Harry alone or become a family with her ex-boyfriend?

-&-

They had made love. James had almost resisted and refused but she had seductively kissed him in a very sensitive spot of him – his neck.

This sex had been fulfilling and sweet and purely what she had wanted.

It was surely one of the best she had had with him.

Now was the time to tell him.

"James, you know about the proposal?"

He nodded, waiting for her to say what she had to tell him.

She braced herself for his reaction and almost second-guessed herself.

_Maybe I should tell him tomorrow … or another day … or maybe even never!_

She mentally shook her head.

"About the proposal, um, I would have said yes."

His arms went around her tight.

"I love you."

-&-

**A/N: Heh. Short and sweet, how'd you like that? **

**Okay. Poll time. **

**Story Titles**

**Déjà Vu**

**Shooting for the Hoop**

**Once Upon A December**

**Matchmaker**

**Rekindle**

**Pick. I'm going to do this poll for the rest of the chapters, since there's very little left.**

**This project was my baby! I remember just yesterday, when I was banging on the computer to work so I could type my first chapter…**

**Of course, I got in trouble for that, so it obviously didn't work. **


	36. I Don't

_Love Me For Who I Am By-x. by yours truly_

Chapter 36 – I Don't

-&-

**Disclaimer-I think you get it now …**

-&-

**Thank you to ****grannyHPfan****Nelly Potter****, and ****DolphinDreamer24-7****Silent Once****smiles-heal-the-soul****Snow****asianhomie101**** and ****peelasbut**** for reviewing.**

**I forgot to mention every story's 'ship is Lily/James.**

**And let's see. **

**Shooting for the Hoop – 1 vote**

**Once Upon A December – 2 votes**

**Déjà Vu – 0 votes**

**Matchmaker – 0 votes**

**Rekindle – 3 votes**

**So far for this round, Rekindle wins!**

**And I'm depressed. Cheer me up? My best friend told me that she didn't want to be my best friend anymore and I'm close to tears.**

**And that's saying something.**

-&-

List of Main Characters (6)

Lily Evans- 23 years old, apparently James Potter's fiancée

James Potter- 23 years old

Harry Evans-Potter- 5 years old

Karma White- 23 years old, with Sirius again

Sirius Black- 23 years old, with Karma again

Vivienne Langston Lupin- 23 years old, Remus Lupin's wife

Remus Lupin- 23 years old, Vivienne Langston's husband

-&-

Lily sat apprehensively, waiting to try on the next wedding dress her 'assistants' were handing her. Her hands fell into her lap and back up into her hair, nervously making sure James wouldn't get to see her dress, since she had told him it was supposed to be a surprise.

Still, he had managed to get past the barricade of frilly dresses surrounding her for the umpteenth. She had warned him that she was going to have to put herself under dressing-room-arrest; that way she couldn't get out and he couldn't get in. He had just charmingly smiled, joking that he could still get in there, _even_ under lock and key.

She just smiled back and closed the door, leaving James to worry about choosing a tuxedo – even though it didn't matter; the ones his mother and Sirius chose were all practically the same shade of black!

Lily sighed as Karma came in with another clichéd colored white dress. These two months had been so stressful, with numerous peers coming to congratulate on snagging such a sexy guy. Harry had been unresponsive lately, ever since he was told he was going to have a real father. Harry obeyed everything his mother said, but did not show any other reaction other than indifference to the fact that his mother was going to be hitched.

She was very glad Karma and Vivienne were still her friends over the years, even when she had been overly bitchy and mean to them.

"Here," Karma thrust the dress in her hands and Lily noticed her face. Her youthful face was no longer that young and her eyes were tired as she seated herself on the bench next to her.

"You're tired," Lily said, concerned.

Karma assured her by replying, "It's the wedding of the lifetime. My best friend's getting married, my boyfriend is picking your groom's suit – who knows what he'll pick this time – and Vivienne's trying to talk to Harry. I want this wedding to be perfect for you, Lily, and you deserve this after that idiot broke your heart."

"He's not an idiot anymore, Karma."

"Yeah," Karma began sniffling, "but my best friend's grown up and now we won't be able to talk as much. You'll be too absorbed in your happy family to remember your Hogwarts friends and how much they miss you –"

"There, there," Lily soothed, hugging her, "we're all going to be fine, I promise. I'm not going to forget anybody and you're going to be godmother, remember? Everything will work out."

"But then we won't see each other that often and one day we might lose contact and I won't even know if you're living or not –"

"Sh, calm down," the redhead hugged her closer, "thank you for helping with my wedding, even though you still dislike the man I'm going to be married to."

"You're my best friend. I wouldn't miss this for the world," Karma smiled, after drying her tears, "And besides, I hear James is improving his moves for the mattress tango."

She giggled, probably the first time that day, "The first time we did that, he couldn't even last a minute! Nowadays …"

Karma stood up, "Come on, try on that dress. I'll be waiting outside with my harshest critique."

"Aw, Karma, you know you just want to corrupt my idea of a perfectly romantic wedding."

"Wouldn't dream of it," Karma replied, closing the door.

She stared warily at the white dress, which was white and slim. She sighed and slipped it on.

"How is it?" called Karma from outside.

"Snug, but it fits!" she replied, before opening the door to show her.

Standing in front of her was Karma.

… and Ira.

"Evans."

"Maverick."

"White."

"Maverick."

"What are you doing here?" Karma demanded, preparing to kick Ira out if she had to.

"Browsing dresses … I see our Lily is finally growing up – and marrying! My, my, who's the unlucky guy?"

"Please, Ira," Lily rolled her eyes, "try not to be _so_ mature. And I'm marrying James Potter."

"You mean the one you broke up with in seventh year? Aw, how sweet! Break up and get back together! Isn't that _so_ romantic?" Ira mockingly gushed.

"I believe it is very romantic, since, as you know, Ira, that you _were_ the one who broke us up," a deep voice boomed behind the three.

"James!" Lily exclaimed, relieved she wasn't going to have to tell him what happened later. This was because he would get angry and want to do something, she'd refuse his demands, and they wouldn't speak to each other for about two days.

"Hey, Lily," his voice softened as he walked over to her to kiss her as they hugged.

"_Please_," Ira scoffed. "You can do better than that, both of you. Pathetic," she spat.

Then Vivienne came. "Am I interrupting something?" her eyes asked with curiosity. She shook if off.

"Anyway, Lily, James, wedding invitations."

"Oh, right!" Lily smacked her head. "It seems as though we've forgotten to invite someone."

James caught on and grinned, "I believe so."

"Ira … you wanna come?" Lily flashed her best grin. "If you're lucky, you might be able to step on the ground the Weird Sisters walk on during the reception."

"No way," she replied immediately, "I don't want to spend any time watching two losers 'become one'. Because then those two losers become one big loser and that's worse than two little losers."

She left and Lily hit James lightly on the arm.

"You aren't supposed to be here!" she scolded. "My dress is supposed to be a surprise!"

Karma smiled. "Don't worry; you're not going to wear that one. It's too old-fashioned."

After she left, James pulled her into the dressing room. "I want to talk to you."

"You mean you want to snog?"

He wolfishly smirked. "Yeah, that too."

"I really liked the way you were talking to Maverick there – so maturely, like adults. Even though she _was_ the one who caused us to end the fantastic sex."

"Hey! I was more than that to you!"

"I know. I love you."

"But I don't get it. You knew me when Ira and I were friends. I don't get why you still chose me over her, the prettier one, after we weren't friends anymore."

"There was one plain difference," he smiled, wrapping his arms around her.

"What?"

"Maverick was a very nice girl. I thought she was okay. But, she always solved problems by casting some sort of, I don't know, revenge on them. _You_, on the other hand, would civilly ignore what they did and continue living. In a way, Maverick couldn't go on with her life without doing harm to someone. So, basically, Maverick hates –"

"And I don't. Right?"

"Yes, and what about that snogging?"

"Sorry, rain check."

"You know you wanna," his hot breath cooed, before mercilessly tickling her everywhere.

It was then, in that moment, she knew everything would be all right.

-&-

**A/N: Now for the poll again! I've added little warnings, like previous ships before Lily/James happens and the ship type warnings. Now vote!**

**Rekindle (teacher relationship, but not the way you think – not teacher/student!)**

**Shooting for the Hoop **

**Once Upon A December (Remus/Lily, THEN Lily/James)**

**Matchmaker (sort of Sirius/Lily, THEN Lily/James)**

**Déjà Vu**

**So far the poll's winner is: Rekindle (won ****1**** round)**


	37. I Do

_Love Me For Who I Am By-x. by yours truly_

Chapter 37 – I Do

-&-

**Disclaimer-I think you get it now …**

-&-

**Thank you to ****grannyHPfan****Cassara and Lahela****DolphinDreamer24-7****igrek****asianhomie101****horsesrloveble****Silent Once****, and ****Osmunda Regalis of Daybreak ****for reviewing. **

**Shooting for the Hoop – 0 votes**

**Once Upon A December – 2 (really 1 ½ since ****DolphinDreamer24-****7 couldn't decide) votes**

**Déjà Vu – 0 votes**

**Matchmaker – 3 (really 2 ½ since ****DolphinDreamer24-7**** couldn't decide) votes**

**Rekindle – 3 votes**

**So far for this round, Rekindle wins! Again! Therefore, Rekindle wins twice!**

-&-

List of Main Characters (6)

Lily Evans- 23 years old

James Potter- 23 years old

Harry Evans-Potter- 5 years old

Karma White- 23 years old, with Sirius again

Sirius Black- 23 years old, with Karma again

Vivienne Langston Lupin- 23 years old, Remus Lupin's wife

Remus Lupin- 23 years old, Vivienne Langston's husband

-&-

(THE NIGHT BEFORE THE WEDDING)

James groaned from his sleep, to find that Lily had sat on him to wake him up.

"What are you doing here?" he asked. "You're not supposed to see Mr. Handsome until the wedding!"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Are you going to come with your parents or what? They haven't told me anything about their arrival for tomorrow."

"If you don't get off me, I _will_ come," he moaned. "And I think my mum said they were going to come in later."

"Oh, okay," Lily blushed as she sat on the bed. James' loss of Lily on his lap made him almost whimper.

"I love you," he said, sleepily, trying to hold back a yawn.

"I love you too," she said. "'Night."

"Wait, where are you going?"

"I need to get back to my room. Remember, I'm not supposed to see 'Mr. Handsome' until the day of the wedding."

-&-

Lily sat apprehensively in the chair, ordering her body to relax as hair stylists expertly did who-knew-what to her hair. After all, it was only two nervous and jittery best friends were handling her hair.

This did not help her relax, as she sat in a white bathrobe, wishing she had demanded for a mirror earlier.

It also did not help the fact that she was still in a white bathrobe, with her dress not in sight. Why, oh why, did she let Karma and Vivienne pick some for her as she just waited the week before? And why did Karma have to wink at the cashier when they had to go 'lingerie shopping'?

Why did the cashier wink back?

"Are you done yet?" she asked, testily.

"Don't get your knickers in a twist," shushed Karma.

"James seems to be the only one who does that to her," quipped Sirius, coming in. "How's the girl doing?"

"I'm about to bite off somebody's head right now," bit Lily, growling at him and gesturing towards her hair.

Sirius nodded sympathetically before continuing, "James just wanted to say he loved his Lily and the birthday suit."

Karma hit him softly with a brush. "Add another comment about anybody's birthday suit, there's no tango tonight."

He had the nerve to look slightly abashed. "Sorry."

Lily waved at him before Vivienne slammed the door on his behind.

"From now on, no more distractions," she explained, before dragging out a few wedding gowns for her to choose.

… on her wedding day.

"What!" Lily said, a few moments later, "These are all sexy-looking! We can't have that! I'm not supposed to let my parents know that I _do_ have the ability to look like I was having sex with my clothes on! And Harry would be mortified!"

"So? James would appreciate it –"

" – yeah, right. Maybe after it lands on the floor of the bedroom."

"I don't see why you're so crude, right before important events," Vivienne mused, "this never happened before. Maybe when James loosened that belt of yours, he loosened up your mouth too."

"Thanks – HEY!"

-&-

"Get out or wash off, fast," commanded Lily to Karma, as the blonde slowly rinsed off literally every strand of her hair.

Karma smirked, "Isn't it the other way around –"

Lily reddened and shrieked, "Shut up! I don't want to hear any more innuendos before my wedding!"

-&-

James quietly sniggered when he saw Lily coming down the aisle in a subtly sexy, but old-fashioned gown.

When she reached him, she quietly whispered in his ear, "Laugh once more and you'll be spending tonight on the couch."

The priest was an old, almost bored man. Lily didn't know why James chose this church and this priest, but she didn't really care.

The only pet peeve she had about this man was a believable rumor – this man used the same speech for everything: funerals, weddings, christenings, you name it.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today for this sad – I mean happy – ceremony between these two …"

-&-

All the guests strolled with the bride and groom through the park to their outdoorsy reception. The newly wedded wife, Lily Evans _**Potter**_, spotted the old gypsy woman, Arabella Figg, and ran towards her.

"Arabella!" Lily cried out breathlessly, easily falling in step with the aging lady.

"Lily, I saw your wedding. You looked beautiful."

"Thank you."

"You want to ask me something." It was not a question, but a statement and this was all due to Arabella's mental intuition.

"Yeah … about that prediction you made about me with somebody else and happier? I think you might have been wrong," she said curiously.

Arabella's wrinkled lips curved in a smile, full of life. "I am never wrong, m'dear. I said it would be a different man, yes? James, when you first met him, was a _boy_ – immature and insensitive to those around him. Silly girl," she admonished, "the James you married today is not a boy, but a finally grown _man_."

-&-

**A/N: So now, poll time again!**

**Shooting for the Hoop**

**Once Upon a December**

**Deja Vu**

**Matchmaker**

**Rekindle**

**Don't forget to vote again:)**


	38. Can I Call You Dad?

_Love Me For Who I Am By-x. by yours truly_

Chapter 38 – Can I Call You Dad?

-&-

**Disclaimer-I think you get it now …**

-&-

**Thank you to ****to DolphinDreamer24-7, S.O., Cassara and Lahela, emeralds, asianhomie101 and kickasschicka****for reviewing! SQUEE! I went past 230 reviews. **

**Hearts to you all :-)**

**Hopefully that cleared it up for you about the whole Arabella thing. ;D**

**The Poll.**

**For chapter 37 … **

**Once Upon A December – 4 votes**

**Matchmaker – 2 votes**

**Ooh, some tension … xD**

**So far, ****Rekindle**** and ****Once Upon A December**** have a 2-1!**

**You got your wish, Sarasy-Poo, for this chapter. (****DolphinDreamer24-7****) ;D**

-&-

List of Main Characters (6)

Lily Evans- 23 years old

James Potter- 23 years old

Harry Evans-Potter- 5 years old

Karma White- 23 years old, with Sirius again

Sirius Black- 23 years old, with Karma again

Vivienne Langston Lupin- 23 years old, Remus Lupin's wife

Remus Lupin- 23 years old, Vivienne Langston's husband

-&-

Lily smiled as she looked at her new family as they sat at the table eating breakfast. She decided to let James and Harry go on a picnic as they had wanted to because of the good weather the vision-telly had predicted it.

She picked up a napkin and absentmindedly wiped Harry's mouth, as James began picking up the plates to the sink.

_This_, she thought, _is how it's supposed to be like_.

"Now, Harry, go and pack the picnic basket as we go talk," Lily said, avoiding the word 'daddy'. Harry had found ways to address James without calling him, 'Mr. James, Mr. Potter, and Daddy'. Lily had been worried when she noticed Harry unusually quiet after the wedding.

James had to reassure her that kids sometimes had trouble adjusting to calling another parent 'Mum' or 'Dad'. James was worried, too, because he did not want any hostility between him and his biological son. Since Harry hadn't seemed to acknowledge him as his father, James was uncomfortable introducing to the public Harry was his son.

_Son._

If he had been eighteen years old right now, he would have laughed at the prospect of this. A son? He wouldn't be married or mature enough to have a son; he would've protested at the idea of having a _child_.

Look at him now. Five years later and he's inside his and Lily's bedroom, sitting next to his beautiful wife, as their son is packing lunch for their bonding moment. Lily had urged him to do it, saying it would be a good way to understand Harry and what he had gone through for five years a little better.

Lily kissed him softly, distracting him from the picnic at hand. "You should get there early, before the sun shines and you two returned fried," she suggested.

He raised an eyebrow, teasing her, "Me? Fried? I think you're mistaken with yourself, m'dear. I always remembered you had the tendency to resemble quite a bit like an overripe tomato –"

She glared.

" – a sexy overripe tomato," he amended.

"I'm done packing!" called Harry downstairs.

"I better go," James said, before breaking apart. "Besides, I never sunburn. I tan."

As James left their room, Lily smirked.

"Famous last words."

-&-

"So Harry … how's it going?" Then James cringed. _Great job, Dad, that's the way to get into conversation._

Harry just looked down at the grass. Then he lifted his head and pointed.

"That seems like a good spot to lay the basket."

James, with the basket, walked there and waited as Harry set the blanket onto the grass. He laid it down and sat there.

Before long, a very embarrassing and awkward silence filled up the air and Harry shifted uneasily.

James sighed.

-&-

While James was struggling to talk to Harry, Lily was struggling with a crisis on her own. Vivienne had fainted and was currently in St. Mungo's.

"What happened?" she urgently asked Remus, who sat crumpled in the waiting room.

"Me and her were just talking with a bunch of old Hogwarts friends, when she suddenly collapsed."

A Healer came out of where their friend was and they both instinctively rushed to him. "How is she?"

The Healer looked down at his clipboard, "She's suffering from an overload of stress. I don't see how but …"

"But what?"

"She's pureblood, isn't she? She doesn't have any Muggle ancestors, right?"

"Not that I know of," murmured Lily.

"It seems that she has been diagnosed with breast cancer, and we all know this is a Muggle genetic disease, right? So how did she get this disease?"

"Are there any … treatments for this?" Remus said, trying to take control.

"Yes, there is. We're pretty lucky that we discovered it now, not later. All we need to do is transfer her to one of the nearby Muggle hospitals or bring a specialist here. Then there's going to be some surgery done to remove that area on her breast and that will be it."

"Thank you," the werewolf said, before sitting down again.

The redhead held him close, trying to comfort him the only way close friends can.

"Will you help me tell them? Tell them all?" he said, defeated. "I don't know how I'm going to pay for all that surgery. The insurance companies won't cover it, I know. It's going to cost so much …"

"Don't worry about it. I'll fix that," she reassured him. "But right now, let's go see your wife."

-&-

"Higher! Higher!" screamed Harry on the swing.

James grinned and pushed the swing up as Harry wished.

As his son plopped down next to him, exhausted, he leaned onto him.

It dwindled into another quiet and peaceful silence.

"Can – can I call you dad?"

"W – what?" _Great, now your son definitely knows what he's getting into – a father with limited vocabulary, a horrible history with his mother, and the obsession with shagging said mother. Totally awesome, James, Harry is going to have a _wonderful _influence_.

"Can I? I mean, after all, you did marry her and –"

"Of course you can, Harry, of course you can."

-&-

**A/N: Heh. I haven't updated in a month.**

**Blame it on the last-minute finals we had in June.**

**Also, Happy Belated Independence Day!**

**One more thing to say about why I was delayed in writing and updating.**

**Evil: Thy name is summer school.**

**Don't forget to vote!**

**Once Upon A December**

**Rekindle**

**Matchmaker**

**Shooting for the Hoop**

**Deja Vu  
**


	39. Years Later

_Love Me For Who I Am By-x. by yours truly_

Chapter 39 – Years Later

-&-

**Disclaimer-I think you get it now …**

-&-

**Thank you to ****grannyHPfan**** reader101**** MagicalVampire**** kickasschicka**** and ****Kelly Belly**** (bubb1etea) for reviewing!! Only one more chapter after this. –sniff-**

**Oh and to kickasschicka: Yes, I do pretty good in school, yes, I did win that spelling thing, and summer school is for the stupid SHSAT which every eighth grader takes if they want to get into a specialized high school. Roar. I don't want to go to summer school. Now, I get home at noon and finish my homework at six.**

**Rekindle – 1 vote**

**Once Upon A December – 1 vote**

**Déjà Vu – ½ vote**

**Matchmaker – ½ vote**

**Rekindle and Once Upon A December are tied!**

**So now it's 3:2 for the polls O.o**

-&-

List of Main Characters (6)

Lily Evans- 35 years old

James Potter- 35 years old

Harry Evans-Potter- 17 years old

Karma White- 34 years old

Sirius Black- 35 years old

Remus Lupin- 36 years old

-&-

"Harry, hurry up!" screeched his mother downstairs. "You'll miss the train!"

Harry groaned sleepily and shifted. "Few more minutes, mum…"

Lily growled, dark circles under her eyes telling James she hadn't gotten a lot of sleep last night. He wondered why.

Oh, wait … _he_ was why she hadn't slept much last night.

"James, wake your son up."

_There she does it again, calling him _my_ son. As if she hadn't done anything to help have him …_

"Fine, fine," he said, rolling his eyes mockingly.

She softened and gave him a kiss on the cheek before pushing him by the rear from the kitchen. "Now, go."

That push had gotten his behind to be a little sore. He rubbed the sore spot before stepping up the stairs. This was what he got for letting a girl have access to his back end, letting her push him around.

"Harry?" he called. "Wakey-wakey, Harry!"

His son ignored him and proceeded to bury himself under the covers.

"C'mon son, where's that enthusiasm every time you set foot into Hogwarts?"

"Dad," he mumbled, "the thrill starts to die away when the local poltergeist, the Potions master, and the Divination professor have it in for you."

"Trelawney?" James asked. "I thought you said you weren't taking Divination again!"

"Dad … Hermione's going to be in the class, too, and she can help me with all the crystal ball bullocks."

"Oh, I see," he mused, "it's about the girl, not the studies …"

"Dad!"

"Fine, I'll shut up, as long as you promise to get dressed and washed up. Your mother is getting mad."

"So it's not Lily anymore, huh? She must be angry since you're calling her my mother."

"You really are your mother's son."

James meant that to sound almost insulting, but left the room smiling.

-&-

"Here we are at last," Lily murmured, "Where it all started."

"Where _we_ started," James corrected as they watched their son talk animatedly to his two best friends, Ron and Hermione.

"Who would have thought?" she softly asked as she brushed hair from his face. "Who would have thought we would end up together like this?"

"_I _certainly wouldn't have," he murmured, as his hand joined hers, "I thought you would end up with Remus or something – you always seemed to have a crush on him."

She blushed. "It was that obvious?"

He narrowed his eyes at her. "You liked Remus? I was only supposing!"

She hesitated. "I _did_ like Remus, in second year. Then when I left in the third year, he came to me in private and told me he took a fancy to me as well. In fourth year, we began a long-distance relationship and broke it off after three months, since he began to like Vivienne."

"Who would have thought here, though? Remus dates you, goes to Vivienne, _marries_ Vivienne, then remarries to Sirius' niece/cousin – Tonks. The poor fellow had to deal with Vivienne's condition _and_ Sirius taking every chance to tell him to back off his younger cousin. Sirius knew it wouldn't work – Tonks was pretty stubborn, especially when she kept on badgering Remus to date her already."

"Isn't it ironic? In Latin, Vivienne's name meant alive … but she was the first to die of our group," she said softly, her eyes beginning to tear up.

"It's okay," he said, noticing her tears and brought a hand up to wipe them.

"I promised I wouldn't cry today, that all the memories of Vivienne wouldn't bring me down," Lily said, her voice breaking.

"Sh," he said, "Vivienne wouldn't want you to be sad over her, would she?"

"No," she admitted, "she wouldn't."

"Then smile, and be happy for her sake," he brought his arms around her and held her against him, she being grateful he was so understanding.

She gave him a watery smile.

-&-

"Mate, your mum looks like she's crying," Ron observed, "Is she a'ight?"

"Yeah, she's just a little sad today. My other godmother and her met here."

"Oh," the redhead said. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Harry said, "You didn't know."

The train arrived into the station.

"Well," Hermione started awkwardly, "let's bring our things onto the train, shall we?"

Harry watched as Ron and Ginny gave their last goodbyes to the Weasley bunch.

Then he stared at Hermione, who just looked forlornly at the wall, remembering how her parents were Muggles and couldn't get in. He wondered how torn she felt, going to Hogwarts and becoming part of a world her parents could never be in.

"Hey," he said quietly, "everything is going to be all right. Go to your parents and say goodbye; they're probably still waiting outside. Hurry, 'cos you've got only seven minutes left."

"Thanks, Harry," and she grinned, before dashing into the wall.

She came back, a few minutes later, her lips curved into a grin.

"Let's go."

-&-

**A/N:** **Argh. I'm still hung for Harry/Hermione, even though I've finished reading the Deathly Hallows (woot) and promised to not be so firm about Harry/Hermione.**

**Roar. **

**Even though I still like Harry/Hermione now, I don't hate canon anymore … which is good, I think. I'm still not sure where I stand.**

**One more chapter and this baby's done.**

**I also watched The Simpsons Movie today. It was hilarious and somewhat perverted … I guess.**

**Now one final time for polls:**

**Rekindle **

**Shooting for the Hoop **

**Once Upon A December **

**Matchmaker **

**Déjà Vu**


	40. Loving You

_Love Me For Who I Am By-x. by yours truly_

Chapter 40 – Love You

-&-

**Disclaimer-I think you get it now …**

-&-

**Thank you to ****grannyHPfan**** ShayeBecker ****DolphinDreamer24-7****, and ****Bubb1eTea**** for reviewing!!**

**And this epic is done! I want to thank everybody who stuck by this, even though this story had gadgets never invented in the '70s, music that never was invented in the '70s, and probably clothes never invented in '70s. **

**And I **_**can**_** tolerate Harry/Ginny, just not Hermione/Ron. Also, even though my profile says I don't specifically ship Harry/Hermione anymore, I'm still more favorable towards that ship that canon.**

**Off to create my newest story, which shall hopefully be more successful than this one.**

**Rekindle – 2 votes**

**Déjà vu – 1 vote**

**Once Upon A December – 1 vote**

**Aaaaand Rekindle wins! I shall post that one up after this little baby ;D**

-&-

List of Main Characters (6)

Lily Evans- 40 years old

James Potter- 40 years old

Harry Potter- 22 years old

Karma White- 39 years old

Sirius Black- 40 years old

Remus Lupin- 41 years old

-&-

_Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock._

The whole room was silent in Hogwarts, with only the occasional sigh or scribble on parchment, as Lily hurriedly tried to write a last farewell to the seventh years, who would wake in a few hours.

_Merlin, it's only five in the morning._

The redhead tiredly rubbed her eyes, trying to keep awake. It seemed ironic to her that last night she hadn't been able to sleep yet she _could_, and now she wanted to sleep but she _couldn't_. She really hated today.

Today she was going to have to say good-bye, every other year before, to students she'd known since they were eleven. She was going to miss many of them, especially the Weasleys her family had bonded with. Now, however, there weren't seven Weasleys anymore; it seemed as if they all multiplied – with all seven married.

Then, _oh, god_, a memorial service was going to be held at the Ministry. She and Remus were to be guest speakers, almost eulogists, at the ceremony.

_Oh, Merlin, I didn't want to be the one reading a speech for a dead friend already._

She was glad James and Harry – who was busy with his first newborn with Hermione – weren't there to see her soaking up the speech she was going to give.

_If only they didn't make me guest of honor at the memorial. It's not like they gave a shit about Vivienne anyway, since she was part werewolf. Those stupid egoistical bastards, only holding the service to get more popularity for their Minister of Magic politician …_

-&-

Bollocks, she was late! She had barely gotten on the Hogwarts Express and now she had barely been able to get off, if not for James pulling her out.

"Thanks," Lily said.

James looked at her.

She then knew her husband knew she was hiding something, but he wasn't going to push her.

Holding James' hand and taking a deep breath, they side-Apparated to where the invitation said the Thestrals were.

James held her hand again before helping her up the Thestral-drawn carriage. No words were spoken during the ride.

Lily just leaned on her husband's shoulder, as she fidgeted with her speech.

As the carriages stopped and the Ministry of Magic materialized, James let the redhead down.

"This is where I leave you," were his only words.

"You aren't going to go and support me at the ceremony?"

He nodded towards the Aurors standing at the entrance and replied, "I am not welcome here, remember?"

James left and Lily walked to the Aurors who gave her a Portkey, leading to a beautiful landscape.

_And a mahogany coffin to match …_

"Now we introduce the fashionably late Lily Evans, who will give a speech honoring a fallen Auror, Vivienne Langston Lupin …"

-&-

(After the service)

The redhead was seen Apparating back to the vicinity of her home, late that evening, Godric's Hollow. When she opened the door, she was surprised to still see James awake and taking a shower.

James came out, rubbing his hair dry with a towel, shirtless. He saw her sitting on the bed and plopped next to her.

"How was the memorial, beautiful?" he asked.

Lily looked a bit pale and her eyes had shown signs of breaking into tears.

"The memorial? Horrible. It makes me sick to watch them pay their fickle regards to her, James. It makes me sad because she would not have wanted that. And how about today? Today was the tenth year anniversary since she died and I had to be reminded again how she died. I don't want to remember her and Remus fighting about her health – she was only staying alive for him. She was so tired and weak, James, and now she's gone. I don't want to remember Vivienne going on a walk to cool herself down. I don't want to remember that sick bastard who thought it was cool to be half werewolf all the time. I don't want to remember he tore her heart out and left her lying there. I don't want to remember the blood, James."

Her placid mask at the service broke down as she sobbed on James' shoulder, as he rubbed her back in soothing circles. He was so silent and strong when she broke down like this.

"How am I beautiful, James? I just cried my guts out and my eyes are red from grieving for her. How do I look beautiful?"

"Simple," he said, pressing a kiss to her temple, "You're Lily. Of course you're beautiful."

-&-

_fin._

**A/N: Yes!!! This is my first completed chapter story!! Yay!! Now go read "Rekindle", my next hopefully-more-popular story. But I am SO sorry for updating like almost two months later. I've been too busy with school, homework, and trying to write this better. Hopefully it's fine. :)  
**

**Summary: **Three years ago, Lily lost her son, home, money, husband, and dignity. She's still in the process of rebuilding her life, when she becomes a kindergarten teacher for young magical children. It doesn't help at all that her 2nd marriage failed and she ends up teaching her son, Harry Potter.


End file.
